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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Teenagers driving lessons - who pays

33 replies

KnockMeDown · 12/03/2017 08:04

Just looking to see what the general consensus is - our DS is almost 18, and about to start driving lessons in earnest. He has had a few introductory ones, which we paid for. But we are beginning to think this could get very expensive. He gets DLA, and has just received a very generous cash gift from his Grandfather, and has no outgoings. We think that he should contribute at the very least.

How did it work with you?

OP posts:

thethoughtfox · 12/03/2017 08:25

If he has the money, he should pay but you could offer to take him out in the car for extra practice.

CharminglyGawky · 12/03/2017 08:31

Several family members gave me driving lesson vouchers for my 17th, beyond those lessons I paid myself.

But my parents had changed a car to one I could drive and did pay running costs and insurance. I just contributed fuel if I used it, and a lot of my friends had their lessons paid for. I don't think there is a right or wrong here just what you can afford or want to pay for.

TeenAndTween · 12/03/2017 12:37

We're paying all learning to drive costs for DD1 as we think it is an important life skill that it is our job as parents to equip her with, and we can afford it.
I don't think there is one right answer here as it depends on family situation and finances.

robinia · 12/03/2017 12:39

Agree with TeenAndTween. It depends on your circunstances. We want ds to be able to drive as it will reduce enormously our commitments! So driving lessons, however long it takes, was his 17th birthday present

TalkingofMichaelAngel0 · 12/03/2017 12:40

I was at college, so not working full time. My parents paid for my lessons, tests and my first three cars. My mum thought driving was a crucial life skill and ghat having a car enables you to walk out and leave a situation that is not good.

Anditstartsagain · 12/03/2017 12:41

Totally depends who can afford it and what he will do with the rest of his cash. I just spent almost a grand between lessons 2 theory tests and 2 practical tests.

Chasingsquirrels · 12/03/2017 12:46

My driving lessons were my 17th birthday present.
I also practiced with my dad.
When I passed I was allowed to use their car, but I paid for fuel.
(Back in the days when adding a 17yo to your insurance didn't bankrupt you).

Iamastonished · 13/03/2017 13:02

We live in a rural area and when DD turns 17 she will get driving lessons as her birthday present. Not being able to drive where we live is massively limiting.

Floralnomad · 13/03/2017 13:08

We paid for DS and covered his car insurance whilst he was at uni ( had his own car ) , we will also pay for DD when she decides to start learning .

lookatmenow · 13/03/2017 17:35

I paid for my own at 19 and was working (30yrs ago) but will probably pay for my children as I think the sooner it's passed it's done and I won't be paying for it in the 20s when they're capable of earning.

Would his grandfathers money help but a car? Insurance? If that's what he wants in the long run

BackforGood · 14/03/2017 00:07

This is totally up to each family (and sometimes, but not always dictated by finance)

With ours, we gave the a 'promise' to pay for 10 lessons, as a 17th birthday present. The older 2 were keen and had asked Grandparents / Aunts Uncles to all give them 'money towards a lesson' rather than a physical gift for their 17th Birthday too (+ the previous Christmas in ds's case). After that, they paid for them out of their earnings from their part time jobs.

Aroundtheworldandback · 14/03/2017 21:08

We pay for lessons, car and insurance.

Snowflake65 · 15/03/2017 18:34

Surely DLA is for his independence and a car would give him lots of that so I would be encouraging it to be funded from that? Unless it is used for other more urgent needs?

Orangebird69 · 15/03/2017 18:37

I paid for my lessons (was at college and working part time). My parents bought my first 2 cars and insured the first one for me. We lived very rurally with skeleton public transport and dad was keen that we had our independence.

MrsJayy · 15/03/2017 18:43

Everybody is different it is expensive but we paid for lessons and tests Dd2 is still learning I don"t drive and it is a pain dh wanted them to learn . If your son gets Dla he could contribute to some of his lessons

EssentialHummus · 15/03/2017 18:44

Depends on circumstances, but driving is one of those skills where IMO just getting them through the test isn't enough - you want to produce a confident driver if God forbid he's in a dangerous situation. On that badge I'd pay if I could afford it (or share costs with him).

EssentialHummus · 15/03/2017 18:44

*basis

MrsJayy · 15/03/2017 18:46

Gave dd so much freedom halved her commute to college and she workedin a supermarket back shifts so was getting in late.

MadisonAvenue · 15/03/2017 18:53

Our oldest son was working part time so we went halves with him, plus we paid for a block of lessons for his 18th birthday and my parents gave him enough money to pay for three. Thankfully he passed first time as he was approaching 40 lessons when he took his test.

Our younger son turns 17 shortly and wants to learn straight away. We 'gave' him money for a block of 10 lessons for Christmas so that's there ready to pay for his first lot and we'll do the same for his birthday so he's covered for 20 lessons. He's finding it very difficult to get a part time job though so we'll have to see what happens.

Notso · 15/03/2017 19:10

DH and I have differing views on this. I had 10 lessons for my 17th birthday and after that it was up to me to pay from my paltry wages. I still can't drive.
DH had all his lessons and money towards a car.
DH has a company car, only he can be insured on it. DH wants to pay for all DD's lessons and buy her a small car. I've been told for years there's no spare money for me to learn to drive and if there was we couldn't afford another car.
So I'm a bit torn. I want DD to drive but I think she should pay towards it and save if she wants a car. She works part time and still gets pocket money from us.

Sgtmajormummy · 15/03/2017 19:51

We paid for DS to get his licence. He's in full time education, not earning but we consider driving a necessary life skill. A car of his own is definitely NOT necessary, though!

We paid the driving school the equivalent of £1,000 for driving lessons plus theory and exam fees and only took him out occasionally in my car. We didn't need to pay any extra insurance for him to drive it (not UK) so there was no rush to pass the test. He took 3 months for the theory and 4 for the practical. They're not legally allowed behind the wheel until they've passed the theory exam.

It was £1,000 well invested IMO but I'm glad it's over.
Problem is, I now find my car is spoken for on a Saturday night!

Crumbs1 · 15/03/2017 19:59

We gave lessons as presents.

MrsJayy · 15/03/2017 20:16

We bought first car Dh got in terrible debt with finance on cars as a youngster so he bought Dd a fiesta from a mechanic friend she insured it did her a couple of years to knock about in, I was iffy abouf it didn't want her expecting but tbf on her she worked to keep her car on the road and is now on her 2nd car she bought herself

morides · 16/03/2017 17:28

DD has a Saturday job. We agreed that she would save and put aside money for driving lessons and that we would double up whatever she had saved. It has worked well so far and has saved enough for 20 lessons. We did however pay for the learner driver insurance and we are taking her out for practice drives.

Alikelly73 · 05/08/2019 14:22

Hi all need advice on this one.. my daughter who is almost 18 and hasn't spoken to me for 6 months wants me to contribute towards her driving lessons ( her mother asked me to contribute aswell) so I met with my daughter to discuss it and all she gave me was attitude. She said she doesnt want a relationship with me or see me however still wants money off me to pay for them... any advice would be so welcome thanks

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