14 yr old son can't see point or benefit in GCSE qualifications.

[caringdad66]

My 14 yr old son, goes to school reluctantly.
He is as bright as a button, and could achieve straight A's if he wanted too.
He says GCSEs are pointless, and he doesn't care if he gets any.
Does the bare,bare minimum in class and at home.
Refuses to revise for forthcoming,pre option choice ,exams.
What can i say to him to make him see sense?
Any tips, advice or strategies?

(He thinks GCSEs are pointless, because he is going to be a professional x box gamer when he leaves school.}

You need to get rid of the wifi for a few months and just use Ethernet and 3/4G to get him out of the habit.
And speak to the school.
You have a window of opportunity here but once he is 16 you will have much less control.
Can you get him out at the weekends and doing some sport. It is no good if he isn't exercising.

One thing you could do is confiscate absolutely everything the minute he comes home until all his work is done and it is up to your standard before he gets it back.

Try not to turn it into a battle of wills. You know how teens can be!

Appeal to common sense:
Try to explain to him that there is no telling what his GCSEs could do for his future, but they can only be an advantage and never a disadvantage.

Appeal to his pride:
Tell him he's so smart, he wouldn't want people thinking he was capable of less than he actually could achieve, would he?

Appeal to economics/convenience:
Tell him it will never be so easy to study again. People often do it later in life and it's tough when you have money worries and adult responsibilities. He would also have to pay to do them later.

Appeal to long-term thinking: (I know 14 year olds and long-term don't go together well!)
Gaming (even if you're good) is a young person's game. What does he have planned for later? Later could be sooner than he realises!
Tell him about all the stuff that's come and gone tech-wise. This Xbox gaming stuff won't last, you know.

Look at these response times which pro-gamers will need. Has he got these? For how long? He can't do this for long, if at all. He may need those GCSEs yet...!

You can take any reaction test online and it will measure your response in milliseconds.

A good player will have reaction times under 0.25 seconds, meaning that it will take less than a quarter of a second to react to what’s happening onscreen. An exceptionally fast player can react under 0.20 seconds – only 0.05s difference

Tell him the decision is ultimately his (because it is, actually) - so just acknowledge that you know that but you trust he's smart enough to make the right choice. Sit back and breathe!

Good luck.

Even if my kid was going to be the next Usain Bolt I wouldn't let them do 40 hours of athletics a week. And your kid ain't no Usain.

It honestly sounds to me like dreadful parenting to allow this. Why do so many parents check out of parenting when their kids a teenager, that's when they need you the most in my opinion.

What about extra curricular clubs, sport, hobbies, family games, chores, family time? Where is all that??

^THIS^ 100%. Go camping. Go rock climbing. Sailing. FFS. SOMETHING! why do parents even indulge with an X Box in the first place?! Great idea! Palm one of to your kid so they go up to your room and don't disturb or interact with anyone else in the house.

Your child is addicted. He isn't special or a genius or going to become a millionaire etc etc. He is sadly deluded. REMOVE THE XBOX and go cold turkey. Hopefully you haven't left it too late.

My DS not remotely interested in school and also wants to be an Xbox gamer!

Rather than battling against him, I've taken this at face value. So together we have looked into what you need to do to achieve this goal.

Please tell me teenage boys suddenly decide to pull their socks up! DS (youngest twin) now changed from wanting to be Xbox gamer to a business man but has no idea what he wants to have a business in. I have a feeling he is just saying this to stop my nagging I try hard not to nag and have a sensible conversation with my twin boys, but ultimately however I phrase it, just goes in one ear and out the other. They are so laid back, practically horizontal

Been there!
Has he looked at gamers and how they actually made their money? For most it's a lot more than just filming themselves playing games, they need to be business smart and a quick google will tell him that leaving school with nothing wasn't in their game plan. For eg Dan TDM went to Northampton university and Tom syndicate at least started his A levels so presumably he got a decent set of gcse's!
He needs to have a look at his local college, it can be surprising where the inspiration for a course can come from, DS went to an open day, walked into a classroom and would have signed up there and then for a course he had never expressed an interest in before!

Realism is needed.

lots of good advice on this thread. I suspect many parents are going through this with their dc.

As many have already said, At 14 if they are not already making money/have sponsership, then I can't see them suddenly achieving it over night, without some form of education.

DS spends to much time on his pc, but still has focus on his education, he knows the career he wants when he leaves, he also knows he needs to keep his options open.

He already has a business much like pp ds, but not anywhere near as successful.

What he learnt from setting up his little business is it bloody hard work, generating interest and getting business (he doesn't have a massive YouTube following)

He's proud of his work he sells, the stuff he produces is the easy bit. Bringing money in and getting clients is the hard part.

At 14 you should tell them to start earning money now, if they are that good, then watch them wane in their enthusiasm.

Thanks for the advice coldcanary and witchandtrevor DS (youngest twin), has not set up any kind of business. As I said, I feel his says this to get me off his back. When he went through his "I want to be a gamer phase", I did look at courses with him in the hope that the penny would drop that you can't walk into it without any qualifications.

I would be proud of my DS if he had set up a small business like your sons, at least it shows some initiative....

My other DS (oldest twin), just keeps saying "I don't know" when asked about his future. I get that, but at least of some idea. Watching constant repeats on tv takes up 70% of their time, Xbox has waned a bit recently. Not currently interested in YouTube.

I've told them they have the summer holidays to laze around etc, but in September I'm taking the remote control away

Has he chosen his gcse's already? Because business studies would be a good one if he hasn't - DS and my 2 nieces all did it and the course really gets into every aspect of business life including running a small business as part of the final result. DS admitted it was quite hard in some ways and really interesting.

coldcanary - yes my twins have chosen their GCSEs, and both chose Business studies which they will start in September when they start Y9. Hope you right and it motivates them on the other hand they both chose geography and according to their school report received yesterday they are "below target" and "need to improve" in the effort rating for geography and even worse don't actually seem that bothered. I could cry.

Unless there is a consequence they won't give a shit. Why would they? If there is zero impact on their lives then there's no reason to bother. Nice and easy for them to say how mum's being a nag, rolling their eyes and turning back to the PlayStation.
Take the fun away, relax and let the actual consequences do the talking.

oddsocks if they are taking business studies and no longer 'just want to be a gamer' then I think they are on the right track.

Youngest ds has no clue what so ever about what he wants to do. We have said that's find, just keep your options broard.
Lots of teens struggle to know what career they want and will change there mind. There is Plenty of time at the moment to do that.

I've written on here about DS before - he was a lazy little sod for most of high school and acted the arse for a while, I think hitting the gcse years does motivate them in an 'oh shit this is real' type of way tbh. Ask at school about getting him a mentor, they're a good liaison between the school and home - also the student has extra access to talk to them about the courses and school life in general. It really helped DS get himself sorted. He's on track to pass all of them now, he won't be getting 9's but we were told several times this year that he's really pulled himself together.

Why are you not turning the internet off, 40 hours a week is ridiculous

Would you say 40 hours a week is ridiculous for someone who wanted to be a professional athlete or swimmer or chess player?

coldcanary I hope you are right, I've read that there is a dip in performance in Y8, the shine of starting secondary school has worn off but not yet started GCSEs.

witch even though they haven't started business studies yet, when we talk about it they do seem marginally more interested.

cauliflower I hear you, so hard without it turning into a battle/argument everytime. I've also gone down the carrots rather than sticks method of parenting, maybe that is a bit soft now they are getting older. Everything is such a battle and DH doesn't always back me up.

DH not backing you up is the problem. Being undermined is appalling.

It's not all the time cauliflower and tbh maybe DH has a point that I'm too soft

"Today 11:43 cdtaylornats

Why are you not turning the internet off, 40 hours a week is ridiculous

Would you say 40 hours a week is ridiculous for someone who wanted to be a professional athlete or swimmer or chess player?"

Yes I would. Dd wants to be a professional dancer. She goes to vocational school. From the age of 11-16 they train for around 15-18 hours per week, it's drilled into them to have 1 full day off a week.

They only go up to 30 plus hours a week from age 16 onwards.

train for around 15-18 hours per week

Yes train but how much other time do they spend just practising on their own?

Perhaps the OP should go the other route - look up the training regime for a professional gamer and give him a week of that - fixed playing sessions - not for fun, fixed meal times, no snacking while gaming, good healthy meals, post session discussion of his errors, plan to correct errors, early night to get in a full day next day - 6 days a week.

My daughter is very bright and is predicted 8 and 9 's in her GCSEs . She is at the end of year 8 . We are rewarding and penalising her with money based on her targets and achievements in the same way you do at work ( bonuses etc) . It may not be everyone's way of dealing with parenting but it's the way we are doing it . To be fair to her she does sail through stuff with great marks and doesn't try very hard . She will no doubt get ok marks without trying but we want her to really try and achieve her maximum . She totally gets money because she has had an allowance since she was 11 and budgets etc so it works for her .

Today 17:31 cdtaylornats

"train for around 15-18 hours per week

Yes train but how much other time do they spend just practising on their own?"

In term time minimal. Perhaps 30-60 mins a day on stretching & conditioning or practising a certain thing. An extra 5 hours per week maximum. The rest of the time is spent studying & relaxing.

My friend had this with her DS. She pointed out to him that to be a professional gamer you needed sponsorship. To get sponsorship, you need to be winning. To win, you need the best and most expensive equipment. To get the best and most expensive equipment, you need a job.

She then showed him how much he could earn at minimum wage and how much if he chose a professional career and compared it in terms of what equipment it will buy.

She suggested her DS picked the best paying career that he fancied doing to pay for his equipment and worked towards getting it.

It worked for her, he is now in his 2nd year of university studying engineering.