14 yr old son can't see point or benefit in GCSE qualifications.

[caringdad66]

My 14 yr old son, goes to school reluctantly.
He is as bright as a button, and could achieve straight A's if he wanted too.
He says GCSEs are pointless, and he doesn't care if he gets any.
Does the bare,bare minimum in class and at home.
Refuses to revise for forthcoming,pre option choice ,exams.
What can i say to him to make him see sense?
Any tips, advice or strategies?

(He thinks GCSEs are pointless, because he is going to be a professional x box gamer when he leaves school.}

At 40 hours a week your child is addicted and will need tonne weaned off. He will have reached high levels on the games and he won't want to stop playing as other people will get ahead of him.
The real world is fading into the background as the virtual one becomes more real and hence the disinterest. I bet he has tried to let you give him meals in his room (please tell me he doesn't do this already)

Does he think that successful Youtubers and gamers just quit school and start gaming professionally? (Well maybe some do!) tell him to Google Tom Syndicate. Hugely successful gamer and businessman with A levels. I'm sure more googling will show up similar results for other gamers.
Gaming aside though DS was similar in his 'what's the point' attitude until he hit year 10, then the careers advice, college open days, talking to older friends and the realisation that his potential choices for post school was huge changed his tune pretty quickly!

My ds wants to be a stand up comedian. I annoy him by googling comedians as we're watching telly and casually commenting on which university they went to. He calls it "Mum's stealth lecturing"

If he is gaming for 40 hours a week now how much money has he made so far? If none what is stopping him?

X box gamers are good at maths. Most game designers have maths degrees.

Get over talking to nerds on line and get real. Grow up.

The x box has been removed.

Get over it.

Simple.

I tend to point out which stand up comedians used to be teachers to DS...
His response the last time was 'yeah most of my teachers think they're comedians as well'

Thank you for all your replies

Your son thinks he is good at playing games, because he spends 40 hours a week playing them !

I doubt whether any of his game playing generates any income
As a parent you are currently paying for everything
Do you still want to be doing the same when he is 20. 25. 30+ ?

Perhaps he could apply for some work experience at a games company or college to see the reality
www.prospects.ac.uk/job-profiles/games-developer

The whole point of education up to 16/18 is to acquire a broad knowledge and qualifications and you specialise onwards
Qualifications, part time jobs and volunteering open up opportunities and to meet a wider circle of people

Perhaps you could look at some CVs together on the internet too, to show some reality

There was a parent on TV programme This Morning who took the mobile phone off her son for a year and he has engaged in family life again

I would think about removing XBox

Youtubers and gamers are the new acting and modelling. The thing is, alot of actors have a back up career. Comedians are the same, most have a back up career and maybe that is what you need to drum into him. My brother is an actor, he started very early on (about 6) and its only now, 30 years later his acting career is starting to take off properly.

He had his back up and that is what has been keeping him going financially. So maybe you can put it to him like that?

CaringDad66 - I feel your pain and perhaps have a slightly different perspective on it from some people here as we are in a similar situation.

Our DS (also 14) is a YouTuber. He also mainly regards school as irrelevant and a nuisance, and we are locked in an on-going battle to get him to take his studies seriously and keep some balance in his life. But it is exhausting and causes arguments in the family constantly.

He runs his YouTube channel very seriously, has just under 20K subscribers (a modest amount). He records videos of him and his (mostly online) friends playing games, then edits them, creates thumbnails, uploads and promotes them.
He currently makes about £75/month from Google advertising revenue, and about another £40-60 from designing logos/online art for other Youtubers. This income is growing every month with owners of some of the bigger servers now paying him $55 for each 10 min video he makes for them.

I oscillate between proud of him for his resourcefulness at an early age, and his achievements (albeit ones I don't particularly understand or would choose) and feeling that we should be reigning him in more.

The problem is, that it is his hobby, his passion, and the one thing that really fires him up. He is clearly teaching himself some useful design and business skills but I know he needs to keep his options open by also getting a good clutch of GCSES.

He's not completely isolated - has a small core group of school friends who are similarly nerdy and into similar things. I try to make sure he meets up with them quite regularly.

He has always found school hard (suspect he has some undiagnosed processing issues and perhaps autistic-type tendencies) so to see him so enthused about something is a relief to be honest.
However, he can easily clock up 30+hours a week doing his YouTube stuff, and I'm sure even more, if we'd let him!

It's so hard... school keep saying 'follow your passions/ don't go for a career you don't like just because it pays well etc' and DS just throws this back at us.

I feel like I am constantly having to 'police' the situation:

• homework to a good start
• school report grades consistent
• completes required tasks around house
• required to attend family events without complaint
• internet off at 10.30
• phones downstairs overnight etc

sobeyondthehills is right though - YouTubers and Gamers are the new actors and celebrities and it's a world we don't completely understand.

I have friends whose children want to be professional footballers and actors and their children are similarly obsessed - if they're not doing the activity they're watching other people do it, or reading and planning about it.

Good luck with however you decide to move forward.

This is an example job being paid to play games to test them - there are careers in games, rather than the YouTube route, but they expect degree level, even for the non programmers/designers/artists..

www.codemasters.com/careers/job-search/#qa-technicians-fixed-term-contracts

Thanks for sharing.Your post is very useful

Gameboy - I think your son's situation is different to the OP.
Skills like video editing, speaking clearly to an audience can be used in a "real" job in more than one industry.
Playing games while talking on a headset is very different. Has your son entered actual competitions and had any success OP?

40 hours is A LOT. That's probably more than school plus homework/study time right? My son is a gaming addict and probably clocked up at least 20-25 hours last week. This will go down as the weather improves but it's a heck of a lot imo.

Agree with honeysucklejasmine your DS should already have some knowledge of how he will get to be a professional gamer and be attending and networking within the venues etc where the competitions are held. Yes, even at the tender age of 14!
It is a highly competitive 'career' perhaps like becoming an F1 driver or Premier League footballer. But there are lots of careers associated with gaming, including game testing (sitting around all day trying to 'break' games according to my DS). But even though that is one of the least challenging roles it still needs 'further or higher' educational qualifications.
I don't have any links to XBox stuff but Rockstar Games has a careers page which might be of interest. www.rockstargames.com/careers/
Your DS should note that all the positions require 'passion', 'commitment' and a team player attitude.

Is this any use, OP? It's the Jobs section of Playstation.

Is it worth looking at who his x-box idols are and what educational background they have.

If he saw what skills, qualifications they used to attain their current careers.

www.esports-news.co.uk/2016/01/07/top-10-earning-uk-esports-players/

The top ten gamers in the UK earn between £13,000 and £78,000.

However
www.theguardian.com/technology/2016/jan/28/my-dream-to-become-pro-gamer-ended-in-utter-failure

One thing he needs to know is the big money is only for the winner. Those sorts of games are not played on X-Box and he is looking at computers in the £1000-£2000+ range with powerful communications and graphics. He isn't going to buy that out of a paper round.

Perhaps you should take him to Insomnia and see how good he is - or not - £60 for a family ticket.
insomniagamingfestival.com/

So his problem is immaturity. How much does he understand of what being an adult involves?

Not specific to you, but I have been quite aghast at the immaturity of some of my kids' friends when it comes to their understanding of life as an adult. They have never heard of what a mortgage is, can't even start to guess what a decent salary is, how much rent is, that credit cards means using money you don't have and I could go on!

Many parents think that their kids should be protected of the stresses of adult life, which I agree to an extend, but on the other hand is the issue of them being so clueless, assuming that all the things their parents are able to give them has just fallen into their hands that they have totally unrealistic views of what needs to be done even as a child to achieve a chance of the same lifestyle.

I have always made a point to give a vision to my kids of what my life is like so that they can decide of their own whether they want to take a same route or a different one to me and their dad (we're separated, OH and I have a high income, their dad and SM a low one).

As a result, I have two teenagers who know that you have to work hard in life to enjoy a nice lifestyle, that things rarely happens by just luck, that competition is fierce and that what is required of them now as kids is so because of the influence it will have on them later on. We often talk about the future, had conversation as to whether they would want to go to Uni when they were only 10 or so, talked about work-life balance etc... I never had to seat down with them to do homework as they accepted it was something they just had to do, as study for their exams, because the better the results, the more options to them for their future.

My advice would be to start having grown up discussion with your son. If you do do that already (not in a lecture way but just normal every day conversation there and then), then I would say that there is more to it than apathy and indeed, would be concerned that his interest with his xbox is a more complex obsession than what many teenage boys go through, in which case, it might indeed be time to take more drastic actions.

Just realised this is a slightly older thread. Have things improved since then OP?

Professional gaming is like any other sport. He will need to learn about nutrition, and it will be 12 hours a day most days.

If he wants to be a pro-gamer wake him up at 6 to get dressed and do a couple of hours practice on one game, breakfast - health - slow energy release. 9 till 1 - play one game competitively, 1 - 1:30 lunch and bathroom break, 1:30 - 5 play same game competitively, 5 - 6 debrief, 6 dinner, 7 relax, 8 plan tomorrows strategy, 9 bed

For 4 days. And to simulate working conditions if he doesn't win then no X-box, phone and grounded for a week.

Actually he may have a point having just witnessed many with no GCSEs receive uni places this year for courses like photography, Graffics, Art and Gaming albeit subject to obtaining English GCSE at this summer resort.

Take him to visit a BTEC college gaming course and Uni courses that offer gaming. He will see the equipment and facilities available to him and can talk to current students and that should give him goals.

I would insist he works for Maths and English if only on the basis he won't need to do them again.
I assume he is not planning on doing A levels next year?

I have used a bit of an off the wall way to motivate my teenager to want to get GCSEs...

Using wildlife programmes to illustrate that the only thing we need to do to survive as humans now is get a job. So a lion has to go out hunting all day to survive, a wildebeest has to migrate thousands of miles to survive...there were some incredible examples on planet earth 2 of the incredible things animals will do to survive.

And all we have to do is get a job.

So then the conversation goes to what you have to do to get a job. GCSEs are the absolute survival basic. Without them your survival chances are harder and life will be more difficult. I don't ever pretend that they are interesting learning experiences, because I happen to think they aren't in general and yes they are often quite boring, but they are essential for adult survival. They are our migration across the plains, the relentless search for food etc.

I realise this sounds ridiculous but my 15 yo ds is a lazy, x-box playing annoyance much of the time but by god he does his homework and he's absolutely aiming for straight As.

CaringDad I could have written your post. My ds at 14 was also addicted to Xbox. Easier said than done to just "take it away". Ds was also bright but lacked motivation. Gamed his way through his GCSE's with no revision and got B's.

Everything changed at 16 when he met a girl. He still games, still has an obsessive personality, but that's now been transferred onto the girl. He's started studying now in sixth form (though not enough) as he doesn't want her to think he's a failure.

Mine was similar at 14yo, although I would never have allowed 40 hours pw on the X-Box. I just kept banging on about qualifications giving you choices.

He's about to take his GCSEs and whilst I'm sure he could have worked harder he does seem to have "got it" in the last 9 mths or so. Fingers crossed it wasn't too late.

I have exactly the same problem with my DS. I rarely come on here but wanted to post something similar. I've been having the same sort of discussion with my DS for about 3 years now. Firstly, he wanted to be a famous YouTuber! Now he wants to set up an internet business. He wants to set it up now and wants us to support him ... I don't think so.

Persuading him that his education will be really important is becoming really hard.

It is a real conundrum and it's a really hard nut to crack. I really like NetflixandBill's suggestion but if he's anything like my son then it will be really difficult to get him to listen at all. My son seems to think I'm the biggest loser around and that I no absolutely nothing at all. He talks over me and shouts me down. I could be telling him he needs to run for his life and he wouldn't listen.

Just read some of the suggestions -

• can you actually get careers advice for a 14 year old!!
• I think turning off the internet is a good idea or at least setting strong rules about screen use but the problem is if there are others in the house to consider (I have terrible rows with my husband over this - he just cannot see why he should suffer for the sake of our DS).
• I think telling him that he won't be allowed to leave full time education until 18 and if he fails Maths and English he has to retake it as many times as needed until he gets a grade C is a really good idea and it is true. We heard it from the school. I read something on BBC website about pupils who were stuck in the cycle of constant retakes.