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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

14 yr old son can't see point or benefit in GCSE qualifications.

99 replies

caringdad66 · 08/01/2017 17:12

My 14 yr old son, goes to school reluctantly.
He is as bright as a button, and could achieve straight A's if he wanted too.
He says GCSEs are pointless, and he doesn't care if he gets any.
Does the bare,bare minimum in class and at home.
Refuses to revise for forthcoming,pre option choice ,exams.
What can i say to him to make him see sense?
Any tips, advice or strategies?

(He thinks GCSEs are pointless, because he is going to be a professional x box gamer when he leaves school.}

OP posts:
PootlewasthebestFlump · 08/01/2017 17:55

My nephew is 17 and has been earning money from gaming for the past 2-3 years.

It all sounds pie in the sky, if your son wanted to do it he could start taking it seriously and seeing if he can get anywhere.

Otherwise it sounds typical 14 year old fantasy future.

Maybe set a deadline for looking into it seriously but at the same time he needs to get on with studying.

insancerre · 08/01/2017 17:55

Ds was like that
He had the ability but was lazy
In used to tell him he would end up working on the bins if he didn't get any exams
He did enough to get into sixth form if he wanted, which was 5 GCSEs at c and above
Just tell him he can't now leave school until he gets maths and English GCSE
That he will have to do his GCSEs alongside his friends who will be doing a levels

Ds did an apprenticeship and now earns a good wage in construction
His best friend at school is an astrophysicist and lives in Canada. He obviously realised the importance of exams

PastysPrincess · 08/01/2017 17:58

Even if he does become a professional gamer he still needs an education to be able to look after himself. He is going to need to understand and negotiate contracts etc. Education is power.

Blueemeraldagain · 08/01/2017 17:59

There are people who do this but, as a previous poster pointed out, they have sponsorship, competition titles, huge online followings etc by 13-15 (we have a boy at the school I teach at who has two of the three (no permanent sponsor) and he knows it won't be his career).
As harsh as it sounds for him the ship has sailed.
40 hours a week is a heck of a lot.

TelephonicsSuper · 08/01/2017 18:00

I work with games companies and he wants to work in a hugely competitive industry and will need a HND, Foundation Degree or IT Degree as a minimum. The coders and developers are highly skilled, have the usual qualifications - maths, English, languages are a BIG plus as the offices are all over the world, as well as IT certifications. It's not just about inventing a game - he'll need maths to do P&L's and argue for budget, predict revenue, English to communicate, Science for critical thinking and skills, Art to help his creativity, Language to communicate and understand how to make a game global. The days of a lone genius in his/her room coming up with an idea that a big company like Microsoft will let them run with are long gone - he'll be working in a team of hundreds. Soft skills are a huge training concern for games companies now... they want people who are rounded and don't need to be taught the basics. IS he at least learning C++, Java, Cb etc.? Or learning how to code at all? He's in for a shock if he thinks he'll get a job by playing games all day - he needs to become a coder/creator not just another of the billions of consumers...

Original poster
caringdad66 · 08/01/2017 18:02

Fantastic reply, thanks.

OP posts:
smellyboot · 08/01/2017 18:04

40 hours a week!!

CauliflowerSqueeze · 08/01/2017 18:06

Stop engaging with this whole discourse about why it's important. He knows damn well why it's important. You just say it's his job until he is 18 and that's that.

Get the x box off him and tell him that upon production of good quality homework and good effort levels at school he earns it back as his "payment" for periods of time.

You will never in a million years be able to reason with an x-box obsessed 14 year old about the merits of a good education, so don't bother. You just have to step up, remove the distraction and put the ball in his court. Be detached. "That homework looks ok to me and would earn 20 minutes. Or you could improve it and have 40. What's your pleasure?" Leave it to him to do the work.

Original poster
caringdad66 · 08/01/2017 18:13

In the 80s , some kids watched TV for hours on end.
Today's kids still stare at screens( you tube,x box etc) , but don't watch TV.
Is today's technology, any worse than yesteryear's?

OP posts:
Blueemeraldagain · 08/01/2017 18:16

That's true and if a teenager was watching nearly 6 hours a day (on average) and thought they were going to be an actor/director based on that alone I would be saying take the TV away.

Crumbs1 · 08/01/2017 18:20

No today's technology is no,worse but I don't know anyone who watched for forty hours a week! It's actually irresponsible parenting to allow it and to pretend sitting around on his Xbox is akin to preparing for the adult world. Throw the thing in the river/canal and tell him to do his school work.
Allow him to earn back his machine if he gets in excess of say 8 As or A*s at GCSE. If he gets to 18'with minimum 3 good A levels or around 38 IB points then he can choose to be a gamer and pay you rent from it. Until then assume it is a fantasy and excuse for being lazy.

BertrandRussell · 08/01/2017 18:23

Has he earned any money yet?

DrDreReturns · 08/01/2017 18:45

I imagine professional gamers are like professional footballers... few and far between. The vast majority of people who want to be one won't make it. He needs to take his education seriously, as a pp said it gives you choices and power.

AndShesGone · 08/01/2017 18:52

Even if my kid was going to be the next Usain Bolt I wouldn't let them do 40 hours of athletics a week. And your kid ain't no Usain.

It honestly sounds to me like dreadful parenting to allow this. Why do so many parents check out of parenting when their kids a teenager, that's when they need you the most in my opinion.

What about extra curricular clubs, sport, hobbies, family games, chores, family time? Where is all that??

FeckinCrutches · 08/01/2017 18:52

I was a child of the 80's, I didn't watch 6 hours of TV a day!

FruitCider · 08/01/2017 19:08

After studying at school 30 hours a week, sleeping 8 hours a night and gaming for 40 hours a week, he only has 42 hours a week left to eat, shower, travel to school and back, do homework and socialise.

Why on earth are you letting your child behave like this? Take the Xbox away and tell him to crack on!

CauliflowerSqueeze · 08/01/2017 19:19

Why do so many parents check out of parenting when their kids a teenager,

Because it's a lot easier to let them get on with things their own way

purpleprincess24 · 08/01/2017 19:24

Why on earth are you allowing this to continue

40 hours a week gaming is absolutely crazy .... remove it or at the very least restrict it immediately

You need to parent your child ... you are the adult

Blacksox · 08/01/2017 19:29

I don't even believe you're serious re 40 hours a week.

If this is true, then you are entirely responsible for his indifference to academic qualifications.

smellyboot · 08/01/2017 19:30

I would worry that he will have skills at all that are important to employers. Does he even have any friends? Limited social skills, no decent hobbies, no leadership skills, no evidence of taking on responsibility. The GCSEs are a minor part. He can resist them. He will end up with nothing unless Toby take control and with health issues to go with it

MyWhatICallNameChange · 08/01/2017 19:31

I was a child in the 80s and there wasn't hours of TV to watch! I definitely didn't spend hours watching the news, grandstand, and whatever crap they had on in the evenings and weekend days when I was a kid.

40 hours is a hell of a lot. Mine are allowed on once homework has been done, till dinner time. Games go off after dinner so they can wind down before bed. Admittedly they don't have consoles in their room, only one in the living room so it's easy for us to control it.

Floggingmolly · 08/01/2017 19:33

Has it genuinely never occurred to you that allowing him to spend 40 hours per week (a full time working week...) playing on the Xbox may actually be the problem you claim not to be able to solve yourself??
You sound as weak as water Hmm

TinselTwins · 08/01/2017 19:37

In the 80s , some kids watched TV for hours on end
Bollocks, in the 80s we had four TV channels, and half of them were fuzzy,
The only way to watch hours on end of TV as a kid in the 80s was to sit through things like Sons and Daughters
There were not hours worth of programs that kids liked back then…

NotThrowAwayMyShot · 08/01/2017 19:41

DS is Xbox obsessed & has asd. He's just seen this post & laughed & said yeah right. Unless he's absolutely amazing that won't happen. It's like any sport really. Most sportsmen have some sort of back up like coaching qualifications or enough GCSE's a levels to go into teaching.

Dd wants to be a professional dancer. She already age 15 has a dance related qualification that will enable her to get onto a dance teacher course & she's studying science GCSE's as she's also interested in injury rehab/physio

The most successful you tubers often have academic backgrounds in film making, marketing, computing etc.

I agree with ither it's become an obsession. Turn the Xbox off.

NotThrowAwayMyShot · 08/01/2017 19:42

Oh gosh tinsel. I now have sons & daughters theme tune running through my head.