Is it legal?

[Lifeisshort123]

Can I force my mildly anorexia daughter with a bmi of 16.1 to eat meat?
She's a pestictiran and has been for nearly 7 months.
I've been told to take things away if she loses weight or doesn't reach weight targets.
Am I allowed to do this?
Obviously she's very underweight and needs to fatten up a little!
Opinions??

Don't take dietary advice from people on here who have no idea how to deal with anorexia. Listen to your clinic, who are the experts

Would she eat coyo? Coconut yoghurt? It's vegan and super calorie dense.

Thanks for the suggestion I'll look into it!

An extra 2 fish fingers will not stop her losing weight on their own. You need to stop thinking of "fattening " her up, just work within the parameters she allows to maximise her intake. 3500 is a hell of a lot especially if she hasn't been eating properly to begin with.

Getting into a power struggle will end badly for both of you.
She needs support.snd I go with sneaking egg into mac cheese.

So you just suggest I leave her to kill herself by losing weight??
I'm following advice of professionals

When you do toast butter it and toast it again it makes the butter sink in more and you carnt dab it off

I wouldn't force meat on her pasta with full fat Philadelphia cheese sauce is that an option?

I've had eating disorders my entire life

Of course not. But you can't change her habits overnight, it simply isn't realistic. You can't force her to eat more in volume than she can manage, it will take time. There isn't a magic switch to make her eat more tan she is ready for.

She often tries to scratch butter off but thanks so much for the idea, I'll do that tomorrow.

I hope your eating disorders improve

I was really bad with eating issues back in the 1970s but I only wanted to eat Mars bars. My GP told my DM to let me eat what I wanted and it would be ok. It wasn't but it was all about control for me. Once I was let to sort it out for myself ( ie left home) it did eventually get better for me. But it did take a long time. Now, I'm much heavier than I should be!!

Do it, she's your daughter....if she continues to lose weight, she could get seriously fatally ill....whether it's legal or not, you need to do what is necessary to get her to put on weight.

Don't feel bad OP, you are her mother, you will only ever do what is best for her

XinnaJane speaks sense.
Normal diets are highly unsuitable for annorexics, you really do need to follow the clinics advice and not that from lots of folk on the net.
If you are unhappy with the meat issue then you need to discuss it with the clinic.

The more my DM tried to make me eat, the more resistant I became.

It is really difficult as a parent ( and I have 2 DC) to see it from the point of view of a child.

3500 sounds completely unrealistic. even the recommended allowance of 2000 would be enough get her gaining if she's so underweight, surely? Who's told you 3500? Trying to get that much into her at home sounds like a recipe for disaster

The key issue with the meat is that she doesn't want to eat it, and it's creating a power struggle between you.

You need to speak to the clinic, and they need to explain to you and her why they believe that it's essential ( if they do).

There are plenty of alternative sources of protein and calcium.

Tbh i would be really looking into the clinic that suggests you force feed someone with an eating disorder.

Creating stress around meal times is only going to make it worse. And wether ots legal or not, its likely to create issues for your dd

But whatever you decide to do, i hope she gets better soon

Oh and having recieved treatment myself i am surprised any clinic has set such a huge target of 3500kcal. Unless she is doing a lot of exercise thats a huge amount.

You say giving her 3 fish fingers isn't enough, but if you are giving her 5 and she isn't eating them maybe having so much is overwhelming which is why she won't eat them. If you try 3 or less and she eats them then surely that is better than giving her 5 which she won't eat.

It is difficult. But if meal times are stressful then that won't help. Force feeding her would be counter productive and she may then get more sneaky.

Lifeisshort I hate to say this, I don't want to sound judgey but you mentioned you yourself are overweight. Much overweight ?
Then you mention you are adding milk to (already sweetened?) breakfast cereal. The fish finger debate etc.
Are you going from one extreme to the other in an attempt to fatten her up?
Do you yourself need help with planning balanced, nutritious meals, which might appeal to her and help you both get on track for a lifetime of healthy eating ?

Having done many bank shifts on a ED ward, I'm utterly disturbed at the advice you have been given.

If your child is vegetarian, your child is vegetarian, no-one should be forcing them to eat meat.

5 fish fingers is not a normal portion size, the place I bank at would serve normal portions, we just serve pudding and lots of snacks. Once someone is not at risk of refeeding, 3500 calories a day sounds right. This is normally in the form of

3 weetabix, full fat milk, piece of fruit, fruit juice.

Crumpets with butter and jam. Tea with milk

Hot meal and hot pudding. Squash

Cheese and crackers, fruit. Tea with milk

Hot meal and pudding. Squash

2 slices of toast with butter and jam, fruit, milky drink

Penalties for not completing food - fortisips. 2 fortisips for every main meal missed, one for every pudding and snack missed. Fortisips are 300 calories each. 10 x 300 calories = 3000 calories a day. This would be increased by 500 calories if someone was exercising a lot.

Observations are for 1 hour from when someone finishes eating/drinks fortisips. If people do not complete meal within 30 minutes, they must drink the fortisips regardless of how much food they have managed to eat. This ensures people are not left looking at cold meat for 3 hours.

It sounds like your child may have been discharged prematurely if she is still unwilling to engage with eating?

THREE weetabix?! How the hell is anyone meant to eat three weetabix? My constantly starving teen boy would struggle to eat that on one go.

Dame I genuinely can't tell if your joking or not?

No, not joking at all. I understand needing high calorie food but I struggle to eat two weetabix, it's like cardboard and feels like cement in my stomach afterwards,I can't imagine someone with a suppressed appetite and a tiny stomach having to finish three weetabix.

Is there a choice or do they have to eat it?

Fucking hell. Whoever is giving you all this advice needs shooting.

There is food she will eat, give her that.

Don't put lashings of butter on everything & thus make it seem disgusting to her. Food she will actually eat is more important.

Tomorrow, set about finding somewhere different to get advice & counselling - for you both. You cannot carry on like this.