Is it legal?

[Lifeisshort123]

Can I force my mildly anorexia daughter with a bmi of 16.1 to eat meat?
She's a pestictiran and has been for nearly 7 months.
I've been told to take things away if she loses weight or doesn't reach weight targets.
Am I allowed to do this?
Obviously she's very underweight and needs to fatten up a little!
Opinions??

If she'll eat pasta and cheese and blueberries then give her pasta and cheese and blueberries.

Don't make a battle over it! And one or two fishfinger- better that she eats something than nothing.

Forcing her to eat meat is really counterproductive, why make it a huge battle when she's already fighting an internal war?

Does she get involved with cooking? Perhaps if she had more control over what is made then she might eat more of it.

5 fish fingers is far too many. My 14yr old dd only has 3.

Well my daughter went through this at about 15. I'm not sure my approach would work for others, but she was weighed by the doc when she had food poisoning and when I saw the weight I went nuts, I already knew she was too thin and we had discussed it, I asked her if she wanted to ruin her life by being an anorexic, with people staring in the street and pointing at her, looking freaky, being ill, her whole life focused on food , I was very angry she was doing this to herself, and then I ehrm grounded her till she put on weight, gave her a target, she was horrified, couldn't believe I was actually grounding her for this reason. She kept saying "you can't ground me". My response was "fucking watch me".

However it worked, she spent the next couple of weeks or so focusing on eating healthy and gaining weight and she's not reverted back and is now 19. She still watches what she eats and is still slim but she's a healthy weight and eats normally.

As said, it could make some kids worse, but for me it stopped what was clearly developing in its tracks. I think it was the talk more than the grounding, but we had reached the point where it had to be fixed or she really was going to ruin her life.

Each kid is different and uou would know you're own daughter, with mine I knew my strong intervention would work, for other kids it could make it worse. I'm not sure if that's helpful or not. I'm sorry.

I would also add I let her make her own food choices though, I didn't tell her how much to eat or anything, I left that to her.

Why are you not allowing her to eat food she wants to eat?! That seems weird. Also, 5 fish fingers is a massive amount. I'm a normal weight adult and I would only have 3...

It does sound like she was overwhelmed by the number of fishfingers.

From a practical perspective, you could make a huge pot of bêchemel sauce and freeze in portions. That way your DD can have cheese sauce with every meal if she wants but the rest of you don't have to. If she's ok with eating different veg you could also whizz veg into the sauce. Spinach makes it a fabulous green colour for example.

What about pasta with little bits of smoked salmon flaked into it with crème fraîche stirred in with a salad on the side.

Forcing her to eat meat sounds counter productive.

When she cried about the 5 fish fingers, was it because there was 5? Or woild she not even eat 1?

A tea of five fish fingers, veg and bread would have me crying if someone said i had to eat it all. I just couldnt eat that much. I am slightly overweight and coildnt eat it in one sitting.

I wouldnt force her to eat meat and i woild make stuff she will eat. I wouldn't ban any fruit either.

Helping prepare food is a no no sadly.
3 fishfingers isn't enough for an underweight 14yr old though.

She'd eat no breakfast, probably piece of fruit for a snack, a sandwich with maybe cheese and another piece of fruit for a snack and a small bowl of pasta if left to it..

Great idea thanks!

If you're not keen on eating, meat is a tough food to be offered.

She's got a lack of protein causing problems with her muscles and muscle growth x:(

How is she on nuts and peanut butter? Healthy and high cal.

Avocados maybe? And yes, bananas on toast are a good snack if she'll eat that.

Good luck

My 6'4" DH has 5 fishfingers, DD who is 13 has 4 but then wouldn't have chips and bread-maybe all that food seemed a bit overwhelming?

How excruciating for everyone.

Hard to imagine that she'll touch the meat but if that's the advice from the experts then I guess it should be done.

How long has she been sick OP?

Would she eat quorn or a meat substitute ? My friend is going through this with her DD , she's been hospitalised as she just want gaining weight at home.

I feel so sorry for you both , my friend has found it unbearably stressful to be constantly thinking about food .

Someone mentioned Peanut butter, my DC are having a smoothie these days, peanut butter, oats, banana blueberry honey and choc milk. It is an ad by a local/international rugby player. Great for DC but calories are too high as are sugars for me

Since July 2016 but bmi has gone from a healthy 22.9 to 16.1 and at her lowest weight (6 stone 5 pounds) it was just 15.7 :/
She's now 6 and a half which is a little improvement.
I hate that I can see all my rib cage when she's standing and how much her ankle bone sticks out.

Very, very difficult. So hard for you. 🌺 If you are not coping, maybe it is time for her to be re-admitted.

she likes fruit but I don't really let her eat blueberries and really low calorie fruits but often has a banana and toast as a snack..

Let her eat blueberries! Let her eat what she wants as long as she eats. If she'll eat fish I wouldn't force meaty,I wouldn't force anything tbh.

I had a problem with food when I was a teenager - I couldn't even finish a round of toast.

As others have suggested I would let her eat what she wanted when she wanted. Have you tried letting her graze rather than formal sit down meals?

I think at this time the important thing is to get her eating. You can work on a more healthy balanced diet when she is at a healthier weight.

This must be so hard and frightening for you both x

5 fish fingers is a lot. Just because she is underweight it doesn't mean she has the capacity to eat all of that in one sitting. Try smaller portions more often

You may feel 3 fish fingers isnt enough. But if you overwhelm her with 5 and it creates more issues, you would better serving her 3.

She will only get worse if every meal is an issue. Serving 3 and her eating 3 with no melt down is better than serving 5 because thats what you feel she should have.

It could well be that her appetite is suppressed and eating a regular sized portion makes her feel physically ill, in turn discouraging her from trying more. Let alone 5 fishfingers! Think of a newborn with a tiny tummy that needs filling often as they grow. Can you make sure any rice, pasta, cereal, bread etc is fortified so she gets maximum nutrition per mouthful.

I've started putting full fat milk on her cereal, extra sugar mixed in and adding eggs etc to things. I have good intentitions as I know if she loses another 1.8 pounds she is going to be admitted to hospital again. 3500 calories is hard to manage if I just give her 3 fish fingers for example. Puddings are a new thing she now has to eat, such as cake, ice cream, custard with banana etc. I know 5 fish fingers is a lot as I eat 4 myself and I'm overweight but I need to fatten her up or she'll be in hospital again.