18th Birthday Celebrations

[doglover]

Our DD is 18 at the end of January and we're struggling how to accommodate her birthday wishes. She really wants a house party but we did say ages ago that this wasn't an option - noise, mess and a very small house! She's a quiet girl who has never asked for a party before and I know that her friends are a nice bunch but she's been to a couple of parties where the drinking has been pretty excessive and there's been sickness etc. We can't afford to hire a venue / d.j. - and she says that she doesn't want a "soul-less hall" - so we're at a bit of an impasse. She has friends from college, school, orchestra and work ..................

Any ideas? She's getting really upset and I'm unsure what to suggest. My husband is angry that she's still asking for a party and it's all getting rather strained ...

How about inviting them around for a few drinks and some crisps/dips/pizzas etc and then they all head out to the local pub themselves? That keeps the numbers relatively low and your DD isn't under pressure to host a big gang.

I have done this over the years with my two teenagers. I didn't want them in the house all evening, like yours it is a small house, and I didn't want them getting really drunk in my house.

Another idea is to send a few of them off to a restaurant that they all like and pay for the meal and a couple of rounds. I am obviously not recommending an expensive restaurant but maybe something in between. Where we live there are pizza restaurants or other restaurants that people their age love.

I find that big house parties with lots of 18 year olds tend to get out of hand very quickly and that is why I avoid them like the plague. That is just my experience and no doubt it works well for others.

To be honest I didn't even really like it when my two went to house parties at that age unless I knew the parents very well. I know they can create havoc in the local pub but at least they have to leave at closing time.

It's par for the course for the drinking to be excessive. We hosted dcs 18th here but had a marquee off the kitchen so it was pretty much contained except when they needed the loo.

Think your dh is out of order - you're only 18 once but that's my opinion!

Otherwise if he continues being a grinch then a restaurant with private rooms may be more grown up?

Scary though the thought is (having let my son have a house party for his 17th) I'd let her have a party at home with a clear limit on numbers and expected behaviour. And stay home yourselves - out of sight - so you can intervene if necessary. It's her home as much as yours and you've said your daughter has a nice group of friends.

Thanks for your responses. I'm delighted to say that the party is going ahead!

After VERY lengthy discussion with DH, it's agreed that there's a limit on guest numbers (30), midnight finish, no over-nighters and we'll be here. DD is absolutely delighted!

Great news your dh has agreed even if it means your dd is a bit like Cinderella having her party ending at midnight!