So worried

[Doobydoo]

Quick post as starting work. Ds1 will be 18 end August. He wants to go to rock concert in Netherlands next sept....ON HIS OWN.Obviously cant stop him but have pointed out that there will be no one to watch his back. Also he is quite vague and disorganised.Uni starts around that time and I just feel really anxious about him going on his own. Dont know what I am expecting you all to say but wanted to get it out there.

Well, you can't stop him, so you need to find a way of managing your fears. Obviously very useful if you can find a way of tactfully discussing safety measures, even more useful if he can talk to somebody who has been and knows the score. Don't let him forget insurance; even little things like not being able to travel back on his original ticket can become expensive.

And in the run-up to the trip and while he is away, make sure you have something to do that keeps your thoughts occupied.

Doobydoo,
My son done this when he was 18. He travelled alone. I was very worried for him. But he was ok. Apart from running out of money and me having to transfer him some.

I had a talk with him regarding safety, told him he could call us any time for anything.

Thanks. I will take your advice. Hopefully he will mature between now and then!

My eldest can be like that. I have learnt over the years not to worry about things until they actually happen as lots could happen beforehand e.g. Work, girlfriend etc.
Half of what my son mentions (that gives me heart failure) never materialises....

you could help him plan bits, make sure he has insurance, help him work thru all the logistics that you can. Help him devise how he'll handle all the "What if..." scenarios. "What if his wallet gets stolen, what if he gets mugged, what if gets lost in the city, etc. DS always grumble when I mention that kind of stuff, but just before he has to implement a plan, suddenly he's very eager to talk it all thru with me.

I let 16yo go to Berlin with a 17yo friend this year. The 17yo is the less sensible one in the pair, btw! It all worked out, but big leap.

I think you'll find he'll be far more aware of things when you're not there!

I know I worried endlessly about DD when she went off to live abroad for 6 months, but she was just fine. She's a dizzy blonde when she's here, but that's because she knows mummy will sort it. When she's not here, she's got no choice!

Can you encourage him to find some other fans of the bands he's going to see online, and see if he can meet up with them. I know it's not ideal meeting strangers on line but if there's a group and he meets them in a public place, it might be better than alone. But he'll survive. he's 18. An adult. It's great that he's so motivated and self-confident.

I have a 16yo and, while he has never yet been left to fend for himself in a foreign city, I do find that, considering how incompetent he is when mummy and daddy is around, it is remarkable that he has never yet managed to get himself killed when we haven't been around. It's like he grows an extra sense or something.

He is going to Holland not Syria, most people speak English, the Dutch are friendly.

Thank you for your advice and experiences. It is much appreciated.

He'll be fine- won't he be going away to university on his own? Going to this concert is no different. As PP said, it's not like he's going to Syria!

He'll be fine. I travelled alone lots between age 18-20. Never had any problems and preferrred it to travelling with others.