WWYD - DSD lying

[ameliesfolly]

DSD (16) is supposed to do a chore. She isn't doing it, she is telling her Dad (DH) that she is. I know she's not doing it because the tools she had to use have not been touched and I specifically looked at their set up (yes to check up on her I guess). DH is adamant that DSD would never lie, so if she says she's done it that's good enough for him. This annoys me because a she's lying and b the chore is hers and I have to do it for her when she's not with us - it's a massive favour and yet she can't be arsed to do it herself. But if I tell DH how I know she's lying I look like I didn't trust her (which I didn't and with just cause but it's not nice to hear that your DW doesn't trust your DD is it!) WWYD?

If it's something you have to do for her when she isn't there, would you not notice at this point that it hadn't been done for a while/ tools hadn't been touched since you last used them? Might be easier to bring it up at this point, as something you noticed when doing something that was a favour for her, rather than something you know by checking up on her?

Not very fair of either of them to put you in this position though, DSD should be more grateful to you and DH should at least contemplate the fact that you may be right and DSD may be bending the truth!

It's a daily thing, sorry to be vague bit don't want to out myself. So I've been at work during the day and DSD claims to have done her chore but hasn't. She'll do it when we're at home to notice of course.

Is it something like looking after an animal, where it's vital she does it?

When you get home, will it be done by then?

That's right imperial, supposed to happen morning and evening but not happening am. I'm home now and can see that nothing has moved (and would be unlikely I have been put back in exactly the same way).

What your husband has to understand is that if you complain about this you're not making a personal attack. A lot of teenagers are lazy and try to lie their way out of things. You have every right to point out what's happening.

It's a really tough situation to be in if the parent thinks their child is incapable of doing anything wrong.

Thanks imperial, we've had a rocky few weeks with the dsc in general so I'm aware that this will be just one more instance of me being unhappy about how I'm treated. DH is brilliant and doesn't take their side blindly, he just doesn't want to believe that she would tell him a blatant lie when asked if she's done it.

But so many children will lie when they feel it'll get them out of trouble. He probably did himself. He needs to toughen up otherwise she'll be able to spin any old line and he'll believe it.

Have spoken to DH and he is on side and no problems there. Weirdly (or maybe not, as teens are new for me), DSD has described in detail to DH how she's carried out her chore and seems happy and positive in chatting about it. Doubting myself now .