Daughter's boyfriend smokes

[JanetRomano]

My 13 yr old now has her first real boyfriend and he smokes with his parent's permission. I'm a smoker so I have let her boyfriend smoke whenever he comes over however I'm afraid now my daughter has started to smoke. Any ideas how to handle this?

How old is he? By permitting a teen to smoke in your house, and you smoking, then it's hardly going to send a don't smoke message is it?

Have you sat down and spoken to her about it?

I realize I'm sending the wrong message and her and I have talked about how addicting cigarettes are and how I don't want her to ever start. She says she's not smoking but there have been signs that she has been. Her bf is 15.

There is absolutely no way I would allow a 15 year old to smoke in my house, let alone anyone else actually. You're giving them the green light to smoke.

I'd be horrified if my dd (who is 13) started going out with a 15 year old to be honest yet alone the smoking thing. My dd is very much a young 13, I sound prudish maybe but I think kids grow up far too quickly.

The message you are sending is 'smoking is fine' and what she's seeing is everyone in the house smoking except her. I'm not surprised she's started.

You need to set better rules and a better example.

How is she funding smoking? It's bloody expensive. I wouldn't be letting a teen smoke in my house but then I don't smoke. Commit to give up together?

You are beyond ridiculous letting a 15yo smoke in your house. Be an adult and set some rules.

How to handle what., if you want her to stop, tell her you'll stop together. If you don't want him to smoke in the house, tell hi,

Bizarre.

From my experience if kids want to smoke they are going to smoke until they decide on their own to quit. Smoking is an addiction and once they are hooked there isn't much you can do about it and they will either smoke in front of you or they will sneak around and do it. It's upsetting when we see young kids smoking and I'm sure my mom felt the same way when I started way back in the dark ages. I've talked to mine about what a terrible habit smoking is since they were little but it didn't stop them from picking up the nasty habit. I hate the fact that they smoke but I'd rather they do it at home than sneak around with their friends. If there was an easy answer to stop kids from smoking there wouldn't be any smokers.

Lead by example. Set some rules. You're the responsible adult not their best friend.

Are you for real ?

Not serious, surely ?

Where do these teens get their fag money from. I think 20 fags cost about £8 but couldn't be sure

Really? You smoke and allow a 15 year old to smoke in your house, and you're wondering why your 13 year old has started?

She hasn't exactly had the best role models. Stop smoking indoors for starters, ban the 15 year old from smoking on your property (including the garden) and start setting some boundaries!

The biggest message to your daughter that it's ok to smoke is that you do it. You are her role model. If you don't want her to start then give up.