I still buy all of DS 16's clothes. Is this unusual or do a lot of others still buy clothes for DCs?

[clothesforteenDS]

DS has never been particularly interested in fashion. I have been buying his clothes for him since he was a baby. He never quibbles about anything I buy for him, and I don't mind as he is happy to wear cheap brands. I just buy things that I think look nice on him - I honestly don't know what brands are thought of as trendy or not. He loathes clothes shopping and says he finds it stressful. I realise I can't keep buying his stuff forever as it would be weird. Wondered if anyone else still buys their DC's clothes? Or if they buy for themselves, at what age did they start?

Yes I still do for DS17,DS14,DD12 and DD8,DS20 I only buy clothes for him now if they're one of his presents.

They're all into fashion just like they're Mum I know what looks they like,what designers,what styles,what looks good on them ect.

My oldest DS20 asks me to go clothes shopping with him some times,he picks his own clothes but he asks me so we can spend some time together and because he values my opinion he also loves the fact that I'm the one that always knows where the best sales are on and when and I find the more unusual pieces that he might like but can't always find.

And it doesn't stop them being able to learn to chose clothes for themselves at all or for anyone else,all 5 of our DC have chosen gifts of clothes,shoes,bags,and jewelry for me before and they've chose clothes before as gifts for they're DF.

I couldn't coax DS out shopping at all in his teen years. When he went off to university he decided it was time to buy himself some actual jeans, and to start wearing t-shirts that weren't freebies. He found a style of Levis that he liked and now has three pairs, plus a pair of khaki jeans and a pair of khaki dress trousers. Plus several t-shirts that he bought online. I got him a hoodie for Christmas twice. He buys his own enormous shoes.

The DDs like shopping and have done it for themselves since they started earning babysitting money at about age 12/13. They learned to trawl the clearance racks and they like second hand shops.

And DS has done his own laundry since his early teens..

i buy most of my son;s clothes too. He's 18, he happily wears jeans, shits, t shirts, fleeces, anything I buy. i can pick stuff up from ASDA or jumble sales. He will order the odd funny or cool T shirt but otherwise he has zero interest in fashion.
To the poster who talked about "making a rod for your back", I disagree. I buy most of my OHs clothes too, much of it from charity shops, saves a small fortune. I bought him 4 John Lewis work shirts this weekend, for £1 each, all in pristine condition, i save a small fortune.
I also have a 16 yo DD, she prefers to buy her own clothes, but she gets gifts from friends, we often shop together, I do buy her clothes as fifts on birthdays, but I know what she likes, so she usually loves what I buy.

I still buy for me two who are 15 and 12 but it is mostly online which they've had a chance to look at. The older one likes a particular brand for t-shirts and tops and I don't mind that when I buy his trousers from the supermarket.

I think the buying choices are so different from when we were teenagers - there's not the need to interact with a shop assistant for a start - I'm not sure there are skills that need to be learned before leaving home.

(well they need to know how to repackage stuff and take it to the post office to return it)

I still buy for my DSs 17 and 14, they're not particularly interested in fashion or brands and I just pick stuff up when I'm in town/Sainsbury's. It's no hassle and I can get stuff as and when I can afford it. I'm sure they'll be able to manage it themselves when they strike out on their own - it's not exactly rocket science.

So do people really not think boys should be gradually learning to look after themselves during the teen years?

I take dss to Primark (his favourite, I've never bought anything there), tell him the budget and he has to get certain things - 3 t shirts, one hoodie, two pairs of jeans, etc.

Then within those parameters he chooses them. If I get bored I go and get a cup of tea.

He is very fussy about what he wears, down to the type of t shirt, skinny vs super skinny jeans etc, I can't work out which he likes.

bertrand - buying my teenage son's clothes saves me a small fortune.

I think all children regardless of gender should be learning to look after themselves in their teen years but it's a bit horses for courses and is based on their interests.

For example my teens are interested in computers and the outdoors, they know how to search the internet to find the best prices for computer components and to check for discount vouchers etc. It's easy enough to apply the same to clothes and DS2 checked his drawer to see what size his t-shirts were and ordered the one he wanted in that size.

They know how to cook a meal on a camp stove and how to decide on which food to take on a trip depending on whether it needs refrigerated. They cook simpler food in the house but the theory is the same.

they know the importance of making sure your boots are waxed and that you stay need to stay dry etc

The can swim and know life saving techniques.

They know the value of money and buy stuff in shops. They can and do iron, they can do a load of washing and hang it out. They can run a hoover and fill and empty a dishwasher, mow a lawn, take the bins out, check the oil etc on a car, change a tyre on a car and a bike.

They have lots of skills that are transferrable. Yes I buy most of their clothes because I care more about their appearance than they do while they are under my roof. They do however have the skills to do so. I don't think they will be expecting any future partner to do it for them.

I am sure most teens can and do do stuff or themselves irrespective of whether they have an interest in fashion.

"I think all children regardless of gender should be learning to look after themselves in their teen years but it's a bit horses for courses and is based on their interests."

Is it? There are lots of things you have to learn how to do to look after yourself that are universal and not based on your interests at all!

What I meant was that there are things that my DC have learned to do that wouldn't always be necessary for other DC as it relates to their interests in the outdoors. i.e. knowing how to properly deal with having a poo outside. I'm sure there are interests that other DC have that mean they have to learn particular skills for that may only apply if they continue them into adulthood. I'm trying to think of examples but I mean things that your parents would do for you of you were enjoying the activity as part of a family, but that if you want to do it yourself as an adult you need to learn for yourself. maybe like navigating or stabling a horse or doing your hair for a dance recital or I don't know what else - does that make sense?

and yes there are lots of things that aren't based on their interests, but they aren't always mutually exclusive and some have similar skill sets.

So, going back to the OP, I do buy clothes for my teens as they aren't interested and I care how they look while they are living under my roof. I have no doubt that they can buy clothes and DS2 has demonstrated this. When they no longer live in my house or earlier if they show an interest, they can buy their own clothes or wear the ones they have until they are threadbare or whatever they want.

I know you are going to say it's controlling and to an extend I agree and if they protested I would stop. But as I chose stuff they are happy to wear then it's never been an issue - so far.

I am not sure you have to 'learn' to buy clothes as a teen. It's not hard is it? If you want some new clothes go down to the shops/online and buy some.

I agree sparkling, it's hardly rocket science.
My teen DS does sometimes buy his own clothes, so I know he can do it, but I buy 90% of his stuff, and he is happy to wear whatever I buy him. Same with my OH.

I'm not sure Ds or I know how to properly deal with having a poo outside!

Buying clothes isn't difficult. But it does seem to be for some of the teenagers on here! And buying clothes within a budget is something many adults struggle with.

And allowing boys to delegate tasks they find tedious to their womenfolk is a very bad life lesson indeed

I still buy DS16 stuff like school uniform underwear, basic t-shirts, pyjamas etc with no consultation. I buy most of his clothes online; he finds something good he wants (or I show him something I think he'll like) and I buy it. Occasionally he will go into town with his own money and spend an inordinate amount of money on something with a trendy label on it.

I think the point is that they are not delegating the task, they don't care. I haven't seen any poster say that their DS is fussy about clothes but cant be bothered so asks their mum's to do it for them.

Buying clothes on a budget is no different to buying anything on a budget. They do go to the shops for other stuff and have to go and buy food for camps on a budget so I have no issues with them being able to do that.

I had grand plans of by the teenage years, simply giving my two their budget for the month for everything, clothes, travel, hair cuts, entertainment etc and allowing them to do it themselves.

However the reality is that they don't go out to socialise, they don't want their hair cut, they have no interest in clothes and we have shit public transport so they need to be driven most places. I'd be giving them money to simply spend on computer parts/games. So, instead they get pocket money and out of that they spend what they like, save what they like and can use it to buy gifts. If they are going to the cinema or something I'll just give them money at the time. It's cheaper for me in the long run.

"I haven't seen any poster say that their DS is fussy about clothes but cant be bothered so asks their mum's to do it for them."

Yeah, dss tries this and gets short shrift (and no-one wants to wear one of those!). If I'm shopping you get what I buy, if you're fussy and going to complain (as he does) then you do it yourself.

"And buying clothes within a budget is something many adults struggle with."

I give him cash and he has to go to the till and pay, so it's he who is in trouble if it doesn't add up. That is a useful thing for teens I think when money is so invisible these days.

My son doesn't give a stuff about clothes, he'd go around looking like a sack of spuds if I didn't bother, I don't want to look at a sack of spuds while he's living here.Bert do you have any sons?

"Bert do you have any sons?"

Yes. Why?

allowing boys to delegate tasks they find tedious to their womenfolk is a very bad life lesson indeed

I don't see it as delegating.
What I see is boys who sincerely couldn't be bothered about what they look like, but whose mothers are bothered and take it upon themselves to improve things or to dress them according to their taste.

I wouldn't second guess what my DDs decided to wear and I never did that to my DS either. He wore nylon basketball style shorts and nylon sweatpants with free t-shirts form participation in various sport events and volunteering, plus hoodies. When he felt like wearing a different style of clothing he went shopping and bought the clothes himself. When he stopped growing, and figured out what size and style fit him, he bought his clothes online. It's much easier for boys to do that than for girls. Different brands of jeans come in standard sizes and lengths. If your weight remains approximately the same and you've stopped growing vertically then buying clothes is easy. For DS, shopping was never a means of entertaining himself. It was a means to an end.

The DDs otoh were faced with stupid women's sizing, a dizzying assortment of shapes and styles and colours, and their own changing figures.

I suspect there are some mothers here who genuinely enjoy shopping and see it as a relaxing pastime. They go out and shop for their sons. That doesn't mean the sons are delegating the task to the mothers. The mothers arrive home with clothes and the boys wear them.

I agree it might be seen as perpetuating the "man = hunter woman = gatherer" stereotype but only if you decide to overthink it that way.

I look on clothes as primarily useful (keeping you warm and dry) but also as a way of expressing your personality and tastes. The second reason is why teenagers need to do clothes shopping for themselves.