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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

I still buy all of DS 16's clothes. Is this unusual or do a lot of others still buy clothes for DCs?

74 replies

clothesforteenDS · 18/05/2016 15:25

DS has never been particularly interested in fashion. I have been buying his clothes for him since he was a baby. He never quibbles about anything I buy for him, and I don't mind as he is happy to wear cheap brands. I just buy things that I think look nice on him - I honestly don't know what brands are thought of as trendy or not. He loathes clothes shopping and says he finds it stressful. I realise I can't keep buying his stuff forever as it would be weird. Wondered if anyone else still buys their DC's clothes? Or if they buy for themselves, at what age did they start?

OP posts:

VulcanWoman · 18/05/2016 15:33

My son is the same, no interest in fashion. I think my son would be happy to order stuff from online. I must start doing that really, he'd wait until everything was threadbare though. oh he's 17.

LittlehumHams · 18/05/2016 15:34

I'm not allowed (my ds is 15).

What I tend to do is drop hints when he needs something (if he hasnt noticed) and drop him at the shops to get it himself.

As long as he keps the receipt he can always swap it if it is a disaster.

Zadocthepriest · 18/05/2016 15:38

By the time my 3 were 16 I had been paying in a set amount of money into their bank accounts for a year or so.I paid for eg school uniform, they chose the rest, with my help if wanted. Up to them whether they spent out on clothes or other stuff.

My son soon got adept at ordering on line and e bay. Two are avid charity shop buyers and dd2 lives in sports wear.

tharsheblows · 18/05/2016 15:39

Both of mine (teens), too. They don't care about what they wear and will happily go out in clothes that are too small or have holes all through them or whatever. So I buy them clothes but not a lot, just enough to have something nice to wear when we go out and a decent pair of jeans.

One of mine has stopped growing which makes it much easier.

I have friends whose kids love to shop for clothes, so they buy their own and have a lot more of them! They get more pocket money though, so I think it probably all evens out in that sense.

blimeyalldecentnamesaregone · 18/05/2016 15:45

I wouldn't buy clothes for either DS (15 and 12) without them now. 15yo is particularly picky. We shop a couple of times a year just him and me, and he quite likes it as all the attention is on him and he's getting a lots of nice things and normally a nice lunch too.

Patterkiller · 18/05/2016 15:48

I hope you tell them to step up before they get in relationships. You are making A rod for some poor women's back.

Sparklingbrook · 18/05/2016 15:50

DS1 (16) buys stuff himself, sometimes online but mostly he will have an afternoon in town where he will buy a load of stuff all in one go.

He has an NUS card which gets him discounts so no point me buying anything from shops that do that.

corythatwas · 18/05/2016 16:52

I think mine worked out at an early age (early teens) that my interest in fashion was lower than anybody else's could possibly be (yes, my mother bought my clothes), so started buying their own. There was even a phase when just-turned-teen took her preteen little brother with her because it couldn't possibly be worse than taking me.

As for me- did I ever learn? Not really- am still wearing my MIL's cast-offs. Some people are just beyond redemption.

Sgtmajormummy · 18/05/2016 17:09

I tend to buy the expensive basics, so new trousers or jacket with him.
Then he buys tshirts or shirts of his own taste.
He wears jeans, hoodies and assorted tshirts with a preference for white.
Adidas Stan Smith and Converse get bought as the last pair wears out.
He has three concert outfits with black brogues. Bought together.
Assorted sportswear, mostly with the club's logo.
Underwear bought in sixes at the supermarket.

I occasionally come home with stuff I think he might like. My last offering (a cool IMO faux leather bomber/rain jacket) was met with howls of derision, but I'm biding my time. I bet he'll be wearing it next Saturday.

Sgtmajormummy · 18/05/2016 17:10

Sorry, he's 17.

bigTillyMint · 18/05/2016 18:59

DS (15) is very choosy and although I know the type of thing he likes, I wouldn't dare choosing something myself other than plain white Tshirts He buys himself some stuff online (or occasionally in real shops!), and asks me to pay for other stuff, but he chooses it.

OP, you are lucky he doesn't want branded sports-wear/other expensive clothing!

OneMagnumisneverenough · 18/05/2016 22:35

DSs almost 16 and 15 here.

I pretty much buy all their clothes. DS1 isn't interested in clothes. i buy stuff i think will look nice but around what i see he chooses to wear from what's in his drawers. His go to outfit is a pair of jersey shorts (seems to prefer grey) and a t-shirt he seems to prefer white or black with designed or writing on them. he likes adidas trainers - more the running style than any other and he likes a full zip hoody. And a pair of jeans for going out - not too slim fit and in a dark colour. he also needs outdoor type clothing for scouts dofe etc.

DS2 is slightly more interested - he pretends that labels are for suckers but secretly likes them. His standard dress is similar to DS1s but is a bit more adventurous colour wise and he will buy himself the odd thing he fancies e.g. a t-shirt with a design he likes.

So yes, I do buy them but I after many years of trial and error I think I know what they like. They hate shopping, I quite enjoy buying for them. DH does his own, I'm not a control freak....well not that much. :o

DelphiniumBlue · 18/05/2016 22:45

None of my 3 DSs are interested in clothes, and they all hate shopping. DS1, now grown-up but living at home, buys his own, but only because he would be embarrassed for it to be known that I bought them. He's very happy to wear what I buy for Christmas and birthdays. DS2 ( at University) buys online, only after I have said that what he is wearing is fit only for the scrap heap, and I will usually suggest a few things and he makes the final choice. DS3 (15) prefers me to buy for him. Would rather do chores at home while I go shopping. I wouldn't do it if I didn't like shopping. None of them have a lot of clothes, and are fairly house-trained in other ways. But I think this is unusual - most of their contemporaries view shopping as entertainment in the same way that I do, and wouldn't dream of having their mum choose their clothes.

HormonalHeap · 20/05/2016 18:58

If I didn't buy ds 16 his clothes he just wouldn't have any. He couldn't care less what he wears, won't even try on so I just have to buy & hope for the best. Very strange.

VulcanWoman · 20/05/2016 19:07

Looking at the bright side, at least they're occupying their time with other more important things, well, hopefully anyway. I think it was Einstein, he used to buy multiples of the same item of clothing, so he didn't have to waste his time thinking about what to wear. He had more important things on his mind.

TheWeeBabySeamus1 · 20/05/2016 19:12

My brother is nearly 20 and couldn't care less what he wears so long as it's clean, so my mum picks his stuff for him.

StepAwayFromTheThesaurus · 20/05/2016 19:48

I take DS1 (nearly 16) to the shops with me. He has no interest beyond 'as plain as possible' in clothes. So I just take him to H&M and let him choose plaint tshirts, jeans and hoodies.

Savagebeauty · 20/05/2016 19:51

Ds 17 buys all his clothes . He has a part-time job and spends about £200 a month on clothes.
He likes Pretty Green, Fred Perry, Weekend offender...spends hours in Carnaby street.

Stopyourhavering · 20/05/2016 23:02

Not just confined to sons....My 22 dd has just finished uni and I'm taking her clothes shopping tomorrow as she has no interest in clothes shopping and is still wearing the same old rags she went to uni with!!.....needs a revamp for post grad year in Edinburgh!

BertrandRussell · 20/05/2016 23:05

OP- have a look at all the threads where women are complaining another their partners not being able to look after themselves. And think about how you can make sure your ds's partner isn't one of them!

oldestmumaintheworld · 20/05/2016 23:13

I think there is a huge difference between paying for the clothes and buying them. Perfectly fine to still be paying for your kids clothes if they don't have jobs and aren't at uni ie 18 and under, but buying them. No. By the time a person is 16 they need to be buying their own clothes. They don't have to enjoy it, they don't have to do it often, but they do need to do it. We all do. And like everything else in the adult world kids need to practise. And that includes choosing and buying their own clothes. If she's in the mood my daughter helps my son choose things that are appropriate. I just send my credit card.

nooka · 22/05/2016 02:11

I tried to move both my teens onto an allowance and they both pretty much refused! So I still take them clothes shopping a couple of times a year and as I'm there I help pick out clothes for them to try. With ds it's mainly about pushing him away from excessively expensive stuff (he doesn't have many clothes but likes formal wear), while with dd it's more of a volume thing (that's enough!).

They both said that they thought it was a better deal to still have me pay, and as they need lifts to the stores it made sense (plus dh wasn't too supportive). Once ds has his driving license I'll probably give it another push before he leaves home.

I hated shopping with my mother and loved my allowance :)

Baconyum · 22/05/2016 02:24

By the time a person is 16 they need to be buying their own clothes. They don't have to enjoy it, they don't have to do it often, but they do need to do it. We all do. And like everything else in the adult world kids need to practise. And that includes choosing and buying their own clothes.

I agree with this and the pp's saying you're setting them up to be poor partners. My ex hated clothes shopping BUT was also a fussy git about what he'd wear! After first couple years together I wouldn't even buy him clothes as gifts! His mother seemed to think it was a wife's job!

Fwiw I have a dd 15 who gets an allowance for non school clothes, we go once a month (nearest decent shopping place ages away) she does her thing then we meet at tills.

LittleHouseOnTheShelf · 22/05/2016 02:27

Mine are 17 and 12 and choose their own clothes, Ds has a job and pays for his own clothes mostly.

JustDanceAddict · 22/05/2016 14:10

DS is 12 and he's getting fussier. We go together or I buy online what I think he'd like. I've only ever made a couple of bad choices. His older sister is sooo fussy and unpredictable in what she likes, it's easier to send her with money to buy herself, or sit down together and buy online.

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