15 year old party, 50 teenagers attending - tips please!!

[pasanda]

So tomorrow night my DS is having a joint party between four of them. They are turning 15.

We are lucky enough to live in an old farmhouse which has a kind of 'games room' at one end, with a bathroom and kitchen area, separate from the main house. The party will be in there.

We are removing almost everything from the room and I am providing my ds with his own couple of bottles of pear cider, but am not providing any other alcohol than that. It is then up to the other parents what drinks they will allow their dc to bring.

I am aware that they may sneak in more alcohol. I am prepared for it I think

Any tips, words of wisdom, experience of such things gratefully received!

"Weed would have been a deal breaker though."

Same here. DD's friends are quite a tight knit group and don't invite many people outside their group to parties. People won't be rocking up in mini buses because no-one has any money to pay for them and everyone is too scattered to make it practical.

I do know what happens at these parties because DD tells me. She says that people usually spill drinks on the floor and, since our house is fully carpeted, that is why we haven't had any parties here yet and will wait until summer when they can go outside.

Yep, weed is pretty common at many parties (even when at least some are 14) round here.

However, not all teens are in a social group that smokes/drinks - some of DD's friends from primary, now in Y12, are just beginning to drink/interact with the opposite sex.

And infact, DD says parties are generally calmer now they are sixth-formers - less out-of-control, too young to be drinking/smoking teens.

We are also very rural and this means all party guests have to have lifts, much less chance of gatecrashers - if anything it's more likely there will be some don't turn up because their parents don't fancy the midnight pick up.
My experience of 15 year olds has been lovely.
The thing around here is that no one ever provides alcohol. It won't stop them bringing their own and they probably won't touch it. Lots of soft drinks and nibbles.
DS2 had a party last year when he was 16. They rounded up all the empties into recycling boxes before they went home.

Having said all that 50 is a lot

"if anything it's more likely there will be some don't turn up because their parents don't fancy the midnight pick up."

Don't they sleep over?

Orac - I agree about not all of them touching the alcohol. I see a lot of DD's friends taking theirs back home with them and DD has taken the same bottle of flavoured cider to parties for at least a year now. She tells me when she's had a drink, but I've only seen her a bit giggly once and she says she prefers not drinking because she's seen how silly other people get.

Nick - there are always bodies sprawled around in sleeping bags ready for some pastries after DD's 'gatherings'.

Thanks once again for all your helpful advice!

I have been flat out today with the other dc activities, buying doughnuts and removing everything breakable from the games room! DS has got 3 cans of pear cider for himself and that is it (much to his disgust) Lots of water and cans of soft drink though. Floor is hard slate and a crappy 15 year old rug. We are good to go!

Actually feeling quite excited...I'll keep you posted!

Only about 10 boys are staying over so all the others need lifts to get back.

Good luck hope it goes well, keep us updated

They'll have a great time - and you'll be knackered. We're about 10 years on from our first teenage party now (we always seemed to get landed), and the same friends come and see us now and talk about the fun they had - and the people who misbehaved, who will never again darken my doorstep!

1. You need a door list so that only the 50 on the list are allowed in. No extras, no last minute additions, no gate crashers. We'd said to DS that if more turned up he would have to be the one to turn them away.

2. They will sneak in more alcohol and some will already have been drinking/smoking when they arrive. You need to have a policy for what you are going to do with any that are too drunk/messy such as they get collected or sent home.

3. You're lucky you have space to accommodate them. You will probably have pockets of them breaking off from the main group to go and smoke or snog or whatever (eek). You need to establish exactly where they can and can't go. How are you going to make sure they aren't anywhere they shouldn't be?

4. When it's over you need to go in there switch lights on, start filling up bin bags etc. Be business like about it because they will want to continue chatting, saying goodbye for hours on end, wait for the the lift home that isn't coming anytime soon etc etc. They will drag it out. We turfed them out and let them wait outside for their ubers or start making their way home.

Happy to say our's went off successfully and although they were extremely loud (sorry neighbours) and the house was thumping and shaking there were no casualties or bad behaviour, no one was sick and a couple even managed to thank us (!) on the way out.

Good luck! Will await updates

pasanda I hope they have a lovely time. I think some of the dire warnings on here are probably experiences of somewhat older teens. Not saying 15 year olds won't bring the odd bottle of cider of course.

I remember drinking a whole bottle of pomagne, being sick, getting a love bite and knocking the brand new colour TV off the stand when I got home from my first party with alcohol at age 15.

Somebody set my Mums mop on fire at a party I had when she was away

Why not let the boys piss in the garden? The urine of the post-pubescent male is really good fertiliser AND has some effect in repelling rabbits, foxes etc.

and if they have swilled too much and vomit, it's not so bad in the garden.

fingers crossed. There was at least one poster on this subject who had a party where they all had fun, cleared up the rubbish and said thank you at the end. I don't think we have anyone here from Mars so who knows, you could be in luck.

Ha ha special. I'm really not that bothered about the boys taking a piss in the fields tbh. Much worse could happen I'm sure!

Oh yes ... The rules. We have a whiteboard and we write the rules on it. Then we leave the pens on top, so we can giggle at the inappropriate drawings in the morning.

I should clarify they didn't clear up (are you mad?), we did the clearing up. We'd stayed out of their way until then but switching the lights and starting to clear up signalled the party was over.

Hope all goes well OP and they are all little s

i've never had a party this big (and I know it's too late now) but my top tips are -

Make clear there are to be no spirits. Fewer will bring them if they are told this.
Provide food. It doesn't matter whether it is school ( how is food not cool?) - these are teenage boys who eat all the time 😄
Have a clear pick up time for those that are leaving.
Provide coke in glass bottles. They feel comfortable wandering round with these when they have had a cider or two.

I'm thinking of 16/17 yo though,so a bit different maybe.

Ooh yes - I see your OP says turning fifteen. So 14/15. Quite different!

So they're 14-15, you're turning a blind eye to booze and you're not actively supervising, but guarding your house. If it all goes wrong the children can't walk home, but will have to get lifts. Please make sure one of you can drive. I'd be unimpressed with the parents if my dcs had gone to a party like that at that age. What will you do if they turn up drunk?
Good Luck, but please don't be the cool Mum. Step up.

Enjoy the party OP. Sounds as if you have all bases covered. DCs regularly had parties for 20 to 50+, often with a large number staying over. It has always been fine.

FUUUUUUCK!

first lot arrived with two cases of Bud, a 2L bottle of cider and a bottle of pimms!! With the dad's blessing. About 60 so far.

God help me!!

Oh what a surprise.

Yeah good luck. You're going to be swamped, word may have got out. Close the doors to any more.