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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

15 year old party, 50 teenagers attending - tips please!!

162 replies

pasanda · 13/05/2016 21:54

So tomorrow night my DS is having a joint party between four of them. They are turning 15.

We are lucky enough to live in an old farmhouse which has a kind of 'games room' at one end, with a bathroom and kitchen area, separate from the main house. The party will be in there.

We are removing almost everything from the room Grin and I am providing my ds with his own couple of bottles of pear cider, but am not providing any other alcohol than that. It is then up to the other parents what drinks they will allow their dc to bring.

I am aware that they may sneak in more alcohol. I am prepared for it I think

Any tips, words of wisdom, experience of such things gratefully received!

OP posts:
BirthdayBetty · 13/05/2016 22:40

Op, I hosted a party for dd and lots of her friends when she was the same age, I really enjoyed it and everyone survived Smile

justdontevenfuckingstart · 13/05/2016 22:41

Holy crap you're brave! DD2's birthday in a couple of weeks. Her and Dd1 sleep in a converted static in the garden. They've got that and a big garden and the hot tub. Think me and oh are just going to hide up with some wine!! Let us know how you get on lol oh says take the bin up there for the empties and let them get on with it!

BirthdayBetty · 13/05/2016 22:42

Glad to hear your ds in a happier place.

RTKangaMummy · 13/05/2016 22:44

Lots and lots of carbs food

What about getting loads of huge pizzas delivered and garlic bread

Or chips from chippy or oven chips? I know you live in countryside but really need loads of high carb food to fill them up and reduce effects of alcohol

Bouncers on door with guest list and strict rules no extra guests, otherwise it could get out of control

Deffo get details of home phone or mobile details of parent cos a friend of a friend had their 16 year old in A&E with alcoholic poisoning during party

Make sure no epileptic children cos of strobes

Hope they all have a great time

uggmum · 13/05/2016 22:50

Just don't do it. My dd had her 16th party at home. She only had 8 guests.
It was a nightmare.
My dh is still traumatised by it. I'm more broad minded but it was awful.

Parties are now banned at our house.

Original poster
pasanda · 13/05/2016 22:51

Myself and the mum of one of the other boys who's party it is will be sitting in the lounge drinking wine To get to the rest of the house, they have to get past us!

I am def anticipating vodka or equivalent. I know what teenagers are like. I WILL be in charge! Grin

OP posts:
uggmum · 13/05/2016 22:52

I thought I would be in charge!
I was very wrong

Original poster
pasanda · 13/05/2016 22:53

Bit late now uggmum.....

Fingers crossed.

Good point re epilepsy and strobes, hadn't thought of that.

OP posts:
Original poster
pasanda · 13/05/2016 22:54

What the hell happened uggmum?

OP posts:
BirthdayBetty · 13/05/2016 22:54

What happened ugg?

uggmum · 13/05/2016 22:59

I think it was the nudity and attempted sexual act under the trampoline that pushed us over the edge.
That and the extreme drunkeness

pinkbraces · 13/05/2016 23:00

Ignore the doom and gloomers😀 We have had parties for our 3, have had the odd drunk and had to send a couple home but apart from that they have all gone well.

Hope you all have fun

Peebles1 · 14/05/2016 05:50

Keep checking on them in that room. My DD was 14 and invited to a 15th - largely unsupervised. She was the one who snuck in the hard liquor - stolen from our drinks cabinet. I was gobsmacked at her sneakiness! She was paralytic with drink. Luckily the mum checked on them, having gone out and left them alone - only because neighbours complained about the noise and rang her - and looked after her. She learnt her lesson though, never did it again (well she does get a bit sloshed now sometimes, but she's 18).

Glad your son is in a happier place and I hope it all goes well.

Defnotsupergirl · 14/05/2016 05:57

Can I just say - you are a cool Mum and the best - just in case your son forgets! SmileWink

claraschu · 14/05/2016 06:12

I say ignore the doom and gloom people too. We had quite a few parties, and there was some drunkenness and vomiting, and I had to flick the mains switch on the electricity to give the neighbours a break (40 of them slept over). There was no theft, no gate crashers, and no destruction, and the kids were friendly and polite in the light of day.

MardleBum · 14/05/2016 06:18

Bloody hell, 50 is a lot. I had about 25-30 and that was BAD. There will definitely be vodka. Lots of it. So long as you are prepared for that, and for the effects of that, you should be fine. Actually, you won't be fine, you'll be pulling your hair out and wondering what on earth you were thinking when you agreed to this, but you will get through it. Sort of.

As well as standing sentry between them and the main part of the house, remember to take turns to regularly patrol outside areas especially entrances and exits to check for problems, gatecrashers, fights, arguments, weeping/screeching girls, bare feet and broken glass, vomit, anyone on the verge of unconsciousness (there is always one) people sprawled in your hedges or going AWOL in the countryside, shagging, (I can guarantee there will be shagging) or inexplicably wandering onto any neighbouring properties and doing something embarrassing that you have to apologise for afterwards.

Good luck. I was you, 8 years ago. I still bear the emotional scars.

HSMMaCM · 14/05/2016 07:32

We chucked in a load of doughnuts at about midnight and they went down well (and soaked up some alcohol).

SpaceDinosaur · 14/05/2016 07:50

FWIW OP I went to a lot of "big" parties from 14-18, some similar to the one you're describing and some in houses etc.

I'm clearly an angel. Obviously.

As far as I can recall, there was no damage to property.
There was always vodka but I can never remember how I bought it. I think my dad bought me one, then cut it with water Wink

There were usually low alcohol beers and stodge available.

Yes there was weed and smoking with some kids

But it was all "perfectly fine" and we were also the sort of kids who, after "passing out" (going to sleep) would spend the morning after tidying Blush

You will be fine!!! YY to stodge, carbs, white bread.
You know your son but with that many teens I might feel inclined to remove any serious knives (above a butter knife) out of the barn. Just to remove potential.

If you feel very strongly about weed then o would discuss with your son and put a clear notice up as they come in. "If weed/skunk/cigarettes etc are smelt then the lights go on and the party's dead."

GetAHaircutCarl · 14/05/2016 07:58

My twins had a party and we had a no one in the house rule - hired a gazebo-cum-marquee.

Also had a proper guest list and paid a bouncer who checked everyone coming in was on it so no gate crashers.

ClashCityRocker · 14/05/2016 08:00

Sounds great Grin

We went to similar parties at that age - one of the joys of country living!

I would recommend someone staying sober enough to drive if needed. Is there an area where they can go to sit quietly or chill if it all gets a bit much?

I also think you need more food or more access to food - they might not have had tea before they went out. If there's a takeaway that delivers to you, get them all to chip in.

Or bung a load of cheap frozen pizzas in the oven and bring them out later in the night.

Agree with getting parents contact details - also, common sense - if one of his friends turns up with a three quarters full bottle of creme de menthe, I would suspect that his parents have not provided them with this and it has in fact been hawked from their liquor cabinet...Peebles dd wasn't the first and won't be the last!

Bear in mind that your sons friends may have been economical with the truth...'I'm stopping at Pasanda's ds's on Saturday for his birthday' may be more likely to illicit a 'fine' response than 'Big party at Pasanda's DS's house! Can I have some beer to take....what?....no?.....but everyone else is bringing some!'

Also, have a set end time and make sure you know how they are getting home. In my younger days, if we were going to get drunk, we'd tell our parents we were stopping at a friends and spend the night after leaving the party mooching about the village, finishing our beer and waiting for the bacon sarnie shop to open at 5.30 and shagging in the woods

But he'll have a great time, and kudos to you for doing it!

3littlefrogs · 14/05/2016 08:01

Definitely hire bouncers and have a guest list - with parents' phone numbers - mobiles as well as house phones.
The girls are the worst for bringing small bottles of spirits in their handbags.

Lots of pizza etc as others have suggested.
Are the parents of the other birthday kids coming to help?
50 is a lot of kids to supervise.
If there is only one toilet they will pee outside/in your garden.
Girls are dreadful for locking themselves in the loo in pairs and crying a lot.

We were lucky enough to know a couple of very good looking/cool bouncers.
Gatecrashers are the biggest worry due to social media so make sure you have a plan in place.

Original poster
pasanda · 14/05/2016 09:04

Bloody hell, I'm starting to shit myself a bit now!! Did not sleep very well last night!

I think we need to lay on more food after reading through those replies. Doughnuts sound like a good idea Smile I'm not too worried about gatecrashers because of where we live and everyone will need to get a lift. I am more worried about +1's. And vodka. Bloody vodka. And shagging. I am going to charge our big halogen torch so I can look in the fields and hedges for any signs of nudity Shock And we have a trampoline Grin

I hope it rains so they all stay in one place!

OP posts:
DameXanaduBramble · 14/05/2016 09:12

Is it too late to cancel?

I would NEVER have a party for that age at my house. The police will be involved because someone has done something stupid, they will have met for a pre drinks get together, often involving vodka, you will end up throwing people out. Don't underestimate 15 year olds! These things happen every single time my son (not a drinker, thank chuff) goes to a party. It will not be a carefree do, you will regret it.

DameXanaduBramble · 14/05/2016 09:12

Oh yes, sex on the trampoline at one party had me wide eyed and mouth opened!

YoureAllABunchOfBastards · 14/05/2016 09:12

My mate's parents used to host parties when we were at school. There was always drink. But his dad used to make sure no one caused any bother and his mum used to mop up crying girls and then make sure that all girls left at the end, before putting individual sick buckets next to each of the dozen lads who stayed over. We liked them so much for hosting that we would never have dreamed of causing trouble!

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