15 year old party, 50 teenagers attending - tips please!!

[pasanda]

So tomorrow night my DS is having a joint party between four of them. They are turning 15.

We are lucky enough to live in an old farmhouse which has a kind of 'games room' at one end, with a bathroom and kitchen area, separate from the main house. The party will be in there.

We are removing almost everything from the room and I am providing my ds with his own couple of bottles of pear cider, but am not providing any other alcohol than that. It is then up to the other parents what drinks they will allow their dc to bring.

I am aware that they may sneak in more alcohol. I am prepared for it I think

Any tips, words of wisdom, experience of such things gratefully received!

I must be getting a right old pearl clutcher in my old age 😳 Vodka, shagging and weed at 14??

DD, nearly 16, has been to a lot of 16th birthday parties this year, and yes, plenty of alcohol has been drunk. However, the police have never been involved and there weren't any drugs. At most there were about 16 people and no gatecrashers. Her friendship group keep their party organising in their own message group so no-one else gets to find out. We live in a rural area as well, which would make it difficult for gatecrashers.

DD's birthday is in July and I expect by the time her birthday comes round her group will be suffering from party fatigue - after exam party, prom after party plus 3 other birthdays at the end of June.

In fact, she is thinking of having a retro Build a Bear party instead.

That is exactly my experience with my 16yo Nickname

I am actually heartily sick of this 'all teenagers will' sneak in alcohol because ime this is not true (and I am a secondary school teacher so see lots of them). My 16 year old had a disco for 50 for her 16th a few months ago. We hired a local hall, had a DJ, lots of soft drinks and food. They danced, laughed, had a great time. No alcohol or weed supplied or sneaked in. About 50% drink and DD made a conscious decision to exclude from her party anyone who wouldn't be happy about not being allowed alcohol. Which wasn't many. The consensus on MN seems to be that no teenager can be expected to survive a party without alcohol but it absolutely isn't true.

OP, good on you - how great that you are brave enough to host a party for your DS who is now in a much better place

We have never hosted any parties since the DC were about 12, but they have been to plenty. Probably better that you are rural - less chance of gatecrashers/dealing, etc, but unless his friends are very sensible, I would expect vodka and other hard stuff to be brought in, plus weed. However, we do live in London, so perhaps it's worse in cities?

Will you be in the house guarding your stuff ?

MissMillament - hmmm, how to say this, your daughters party sounds delightful but is not indicative of many parties going on in this day and age, sadly. Nobody has said 'all' teenagers smuggle in drink, my own son doesn't, (which I actually do know as fact) but he does return and fills me in on all the goings on of these dos. Eye opening they are too. Many teenagers wouldn't entertain a party in a village hall either, I know because I've offered one! (but I'm glad yours went well.)

You would expect people to bring weed to a party at 14? Really?

DameXanadu - no need to patronise me. I am fully aware that many teenagers drink - what I was trying to point out is that many do not and while the MN consensus seems to be that no 15 year old can enjoy themselves at a party without alcohol many can and do. This 'oh you are a mean mummy if you don't supply alcohol to underage kids' attitude is what boils my piss.

"hmmm, how to say this, your daughters party sounds delightful but is not indicative of many parties going on in this day and age, sadly"

I agree. DD's friends don't sneak in alcohol, they are quite open about bringing it. If DD does have a party at home I have told her that her friends can bring wine and beer, but no spirits and if I see any that I will confiscate them.

I am aware that vodka can be easily disguised though.

Neither of my two drink or smoke ( weed or fags) but other young people do so I think it's wise to factor in precautions.

The parties my DC have been to that have gone pear shaped have been the small 'gatherings' where parents have left them to it.

The proper organised bashes seem much less problematic.

Wasn't intending to patronise, that's your problem. Of course many don't, I know that.

Who has said anyone is mean if they don't provide booze?

If your experience of parties in in a sterile village hall then sorry, you're out of touch, teacher or not.

Two black recycling boxes for empties

Hahahahahahah

Oh my you have made my day. You are expecting drunk 15 yr olds to put their empties in black recycling boxes? Ha ha hahahahahaha.

I had a party for DSD when she was 8 - 6 girls and 2 boys and that was bad enough!

The parties I used to go to when I was that age when (older) friends had parents who went away were hilarious. Things always got broken--doors, toilets, cars etc, people shagging in the bushes, lots of smoking, drinking, crying and puking.

You are very brave!

The last party my 16 yr old went to, the venue was the house of the host's grandparents, they rocked up?at ten to find pictures off the walls, mud on their cream carpet and their grandson, the host with his head down the bog where he'd been twenty minutes into the party. They threw everyone out. Their level of naivety astounded me.

Alcohol aside, the rules I have for anything in the house are no pissing in the garden, and if anyone is stupid enough to smoke, they must use ashtrays.

I'm not too worried about gatecrashers because of where we live and everyone will need to get a lift

DS's friend had a party in the middle of nowhere - the party goers arrived in fleets of minibuses and the place was rammed. The boy's father looked very stressed when I arrived to pick DS up .

DD has had a few parties at home. If you only have one toilet, hiring a portaloo might be a good plan. DD's friends have been more than capable of putting rubbish in a bin. In the early days we were often asked for water, so we make sure they have plenty of drinking water. Sorting out the recycling afterwards reveals how much and what kind of alcohol was consumed. There are reassuringly usually lots of soft drinks containers in there too. We've only ever sent one person home.

Oh yeah - have somewhere to put cigerette butts.

Plenty of teens out there choose not to drink, or choose not to drink to excess, but there's always one or a handful that takes it too far.

What are the toilet arrangements?

To be honest though, it sounds like you've got such a good 'venue' they won't want to piss you off in the hope of future parties.

The only ones that got really messy when I was young were ones where the parents were away and gatecrashers turned up who didn't give a shit. Most of the times, we knew the parents, and we knew the parents knew our parents, so it didn't get too out of hand.

Buckets with sand in for cigarette ends?

Love the doughnuts idea

Do you have any floodlights for the area around the barn? I know you said you have a powerful torch but the ability to turn floodlights on would be great

Toilets?

Really glad your DS is in a happy place and hope everyone enjoys it tonight

please keep us updated

I agree get ashtrays it's not ideal for them to be smoking but if they are it would be better in an ashtray than the carpet or furniture!