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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

16yr old DD brought home by police last night

14 replies

sn0wdr0p4 · 16/04/2016 11:48

Not sure what I'm asking for here, just a bit of input, others experiences maybe?

DD2 (16) went to a party at a friends house last night. She was dropped off and had arrangements for getting home. She took some low % alcohol with her in the hope that she wouldn't drink anything stronger.
From what she told me last night, this is what happened.
At some point she left the party to meet a male friend (not boyfriend,apparently "it's complicated") at the end of the street. They were arguing and a passing police car stopped to check if DD was ok. They asked if she was ok and had she been drinking etc etc. She told she was fine and explained what was happening.They took her back to the party and spoke to some of her friends, then got her bag and phone and brought her home. They were very nice and stressed that she wasn't in trouble, they just wanted to make sure she was safely home.
DD is very upset, came into my room about 5am asking if I hated her! I'm just a bit Confused Shock by the whole thing.

OP posts:
Ticktacktock · 16/04/2016 13:54

My dd 16 was brought home by the police around Xmas time. She was in trouble for that from me, as she was supposed to be on an innocent sleepover, but had taken a change of clothes and got into a club where she was found drinking under age.

I think in your case the police were being lovely and as they said, wanted to make sure she was safe. She's maybe had a shock and who knows, maybe they did over react. But no matter she'll learn something from it.

Presumably, the party was supervised by an adult. Have you spoken to them about it?

Lollylovesbones · 16/04/2016 14:01

How old was the male friend?

Original poster
sn0wdr0p4 · 16/04/2016 14:36

That is always a worry Tick. Sometimes when she's going out she (jokingly?) asks if I want to check her bag. I never do.

She is upfront about telling me what's happening when she goes somewhere. Parents in or out, alcohol or not, who's going etc.

The parents were out but due back later and next door neighbor was keeping an eye on them.

OP posts:
Blu · 16/04/2016 14:42

There must have been something that made the police think she needed help to get home safely...

What time was it?
Maybe the police have knowledge of the male friend?
I would want to know more about the 'complication'.
Or what was going on at the party when the police got back there with her.

I am sure the police often do bring young people home when they have done nothing wrong - but not when there is nothing that makes them think they would be at risk, surely?

Original poster
sn0wdr0p4 · 16/04/2016 14:47

He is 18 Lolly. He is a nice lad and she has been out with him a couple of times.

OP posts:
Original poster
sn0wdr0p4 · 16/04/2016 15:02

It's complicated were her words Blu. What she means is he would like her to be his girlfriend but she can't see the point of a relationship when she'll be going away to university in a couple of years! They have been out a couple of times but he's not her "boyfriend".

OP posts:
FelicityR313 · 16/04/2016 15:05

What were they arguing about? missing point a bit

Original poster
sn0wdr0p4 · 16/04/2016 15:26

One of her "friends" told her he had been seeing someone else and that's what they were arguing about. Though how she can complain when she just keeps him hanging around I don't know.
Teenage dating seems very complicated these days. In my day if you went out with someone you were "going out" with them. But she's just "seeing him" not "going out" with him!

OP posts:
G1raffe · 16/04/2016 15:30

Was she very drunk? They may have been concerned for her if so?

CheeseAndOnionWalkers · 16/04/2016 17:36

Is there a big difference in his and her sizes perhaps?

I'd talk to dd and ask her why she thinks the police brought her back.

Were they arguing so loudly and for so long that someone complained?
How drunk were they both? (I know he's 18 so perfectly legal for him to be drunk)

Original poster
sn0wdr0p4 · 17/04/2016 10:44

G1raffe she wasn't falling down drunk, a bit giddy maybe.
Cheese the police weren't called just passing on the way back from another call.
She thinks that once they had spoken to her they didn't want to leave her in case something did happen.They were just acting on the side of caution I think. They told her she wasn't in trouble and they hadn't even recorded her name and address.

OP posts:
scotsgirl64 · 17/04/2016 10:54

My dd was brought home by police when 17 (- almost 18 )when she'd had too much to drink at nightclub and had been waiting for taxi....I was so mortified ( and furious) but so very grateful they were there to prevent a nasty situation developing .....she has learnt from this episode thankfully and is much more sensible when partying now!

Original poster
sn0wdr0p4 · 17/04/2016 11:11

I hope my dd has learnt something ,we have talked about it at length. She is generally a lovely girl but I sometimes wonder where she was when common sense was handed out.

OP posts:
specialsubject · 17/04/2016 13:29

No need for hope re alcohol - she has a choice. No harm done. £20 ,to a police charity from her will be good.

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