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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Teenage parties

11 replies

spababe · 08/04/2016 16:21

Thankfully my DS don't seem interested in parties. One has been once and asked to be picked up early. What puzzles me is a) why parents let their DCs have parties at home b) why parents buy excessive amounts of alcohol for teens to consume at parties. If the parents don't buy the alcohol then who does? I hear tales of drinking to excess, sex in upstairs rooms and broken furniture yet the parties carry on. Do all the parents know this goes on? It must be alcohol fueled so why buy it? We are talking age 15/16

OP posts:
ParochialE9 · 08/04/2016 16:36

I've not known a party where the host supplied lots of alcohol for the guests. They 'pre' elsewhere and bring their own drinks. Plenty of older brothers/sisters/friends are happy to buy alcohol or lend out ID to younger ones, obviously some parents do too. My three - now 21, 19 and 17 tell me they never had a problem getting hold of alcohol at that age. In my experience the out of hand parties tend to be where parents are out and not aware of what's going on. My friends very naice 16 year old daughter had a massive party at her house last weekend while friend and her husband were away for the night, daughter had told them she was having a few friends over....

Original poster
spababe · 08/04/2016 17:54

OK so I understand maybe they have sourced alcohol that the parents don't know about but if your DC came home drunk why are they let out to more parties where the same thing is going to happen?

OP posts:
BG2015 · 08/04/2016 21:51

My DS has been to a few parties. I've bought him a couple of Budweiser to take but he tells me often some kids roll up with a case of Stella! There has been wine and vodka available too. Who lets their 16yr old take a case of lager?

DS said the last party he went to, 2 of his friends were asked to leave as they tramped mud all upstairs and threw up outside the bedroom window into the garden.

I know I'm going to eventually have to leave my DS home alone at some point in the near future and I'm dreading it.

kslatts · 09/04/2016 10:42

My dd had a 16th birthday party at home, we stayed, all her friends had a few drinks but nobody got really drunk, certainly no broken furniture in the bedrooms.

Myvdd has also been to a few of her friends parties and she has taken alcohol that I have bought for her, but a sensible amount, she has not come home drunk yet. If she does I am not sure banning her from attending any more parties is really the answer. I would just hope she would learn from the experience.

HSMMaCM · 10/04/2016 16:00

DD had a party last night. We take the cars out of the garage, hire a portaloo and pretty much leave them to it. We don't go out, so we're there for emergencies if necessary. We provided cola, lemonade and doughnuts. We emptied the bottles of beer into the recycling bin today. We gave DD a bottle of flavoured cider and she put it back in the fridge this morning. She has told us she sometimes drinks vodka at friends houses. We have only once had a drunk boy and he was dispatched home. He's been fine whenever he's been over since.

DD has told me of parties at friends houses where there has been damage in the house. I'm just glad we can keep them outside. I'd rather they were at my house than somewhere else.

VoyageOfDad · 10/04/2016 16:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BethDJ · 15/04/2016 11:23

I know, I know. You're all putting your judgy pants on, you're tsking and you think I'm a bad parent.... but I still need advice.
DD is going to a house party tomorrow. She's being open with us and has asked if she can bring alcohol with her as her 16 yr old friends will be drinking and she wants to fit in.
If I say 'no', she's more likely to buy vodka or apple sourz (apparently) behind my back and I'd rather buy her something we know she will drink without getting unintentionally hammered and throwing up in my car on the way home too much excess.
I've looked it up and it's legal so long as I buy it and she's in a private house (rather than a pub)
So do I get her 4 alcopops...Smirnoff Ice?

titchy · 15/04/2016 11:38

I'd buy flavoured cider or beer rather than a vodka based alcopop to be honest.

AbsintheMakesTheHeart · 15/04/2016 11:52

Pre-mixed alcopops are preferable to them mixing their own with coke and the litre bottle of cheap vodka that some genius is bound to turn up with. I think a bottle of Smirnoff Ice is maybe 1.4 units, so - here's the crucial bit - you need to sit down and have a formal maths-style lesson about what that means. Explain that if she drinks more than one unit an hour she's going to be ill, quickly and suddenly. I think a lot of the mistakes teens make when they first start drinking is knocking a bottle back out of nerves and bravado (even when they don't like the taste), feeling fine and knocking back another, without realising that it takes a little while for the alcohol to reach their bloodstream. And then they throw up and fall over.

So, I'd set precise limits. Here's a 4 pack of Smirnoff Ice. You are to drink a maximum of two of those bottles, and leave at least an hour between them. If she chooses to ignore the advice and gets drunk, that will show that she's not as mature or trustworthy as you hoped and not ready for such freedom. However, I found mine appreciated the advice on what they could do safely and although I've picked up a tipsy teen from parties (mine are older now) I've never had a vomiting, staggering one.

(Btw - you're not a bad parent AT ALL. Wasn't it so much easier when they were in bed at 7.30? Grin)

Original poster
spababe · 15/04/2016 12:22

Honestly I'm not trying to judge just comprehend. If she is only drinking 2 of the 4 bottles I'd only give her 2. I don't think I could manage 6 units over an evening without being quite drunk if I wasn't eating. If someone brought vodka and dished it out to my DS then I would be speaking to THEIR parents about it and thus I think teens should be warned about providing alcohol for their mates - that they may be in trouble with mates parents and not to do it.

I have heard of kids smuggling vodka from parents houses in water bottles. Maybe the parents holding parties should police this more - check what is being brought into the house?

OP posts:
leonardthelemming · 15/04/2016 13:12

I have heard of kids smuggling vodka from parents houses in water bottles. Maybe the parents holding parties should police this more - check what is being brought into the house?

Just made exactly this point on the other thread!

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