Teenager

[Zebby1]

Hi ive just been old by by 17 year old son hes gay.how do i cope with that.

What do you mean by cope? Its just his sexuality. I presume he's still the same son you've always had but he likes men instead of women.

You tell him you love him and that you'll always be there for him, because you're his mum, or dad, or whoever you are.

Just the same as you would if he's straight. Give advice on safe sex, hope he listens and set some ground rules.
What did that great dad say recently?
'Same rule as your sisters, you have a boy in your bedroom, the door stays open'.

My son has social phobia never goes out. But out the blue hes been talking to a 21 year old gay male off the net. Without me nowing he got a train to newcastle to meet this guy on his own.he came back said hes in love.is this to much of an age gap.

I guess it's not the age gap so much as the possible imbalance in life experience. If he's a shy , first relationship 21 YO they could be a good match, if he's out there picking up younger vulnerable teens then that's a whole different thing. I think all you can do is encourage your DS to talk to you as much as possible so you can gently guide.

Agree with Clare. Encourage communications. Invite 21 yr old to visit and meet him. This isn't about him being gay, this is about him going off without telling you to meet a stranger off the internet. You'd have the same concerns if it was a woman.

hi thank you for advice just a bit concerned. last year this 21 year old sleept with a15 year old .this 15 year old told the 21 year old he was 17. now hes on sex offender list. should that bother me. what would you do.

Yes it would bother me. I'm not sure how the law works with regard to the sex offenders register - I know in some cases offenders are banned from being with young people under 18 so if that's the case he should not be meeting with your son and it does suggest he hasn't learnt his lesson if he's still meeting up with young people who say they're 17. Of course your DS is 17 but has the 21 checked that out or is he taking his word for it? How do you know about the sex offender thing? If he's being completely open about it I suppose that could be a good thing. Maybe the best protection for your son is in the 21 YO knowing he has a parent who is interested and will ask questions so second the idea of inviting him over. If he is predatory he'll probably run a mile. All sounds very difficult though of course, he could be lovely!

Hi he has told my son about this.and my son told me but dont no weather to get a police check done on him. My son is begging me to let him see him. Cant sleep thinking all things in my head. Have planned to go and meet him in 2 weeks to see what he is like.and i will ask him questions my self.