teens | Mumsnet

robin4 · 2016-02-25T22:23:43+00:00

Amyone else frustrated with tidying of the house,forever clearing up after teen's shoes,coats,clothes,plates,mugs.....that are constantly left about. Should I just give up as my dh says as 'nothing will change' and 'you don't want to spoil your relationship with them by getting into arguments' or should I keep hassling dss to TIDY UP!

Kbear · 25/02/2016 22:58

yep - your house your rules

DD just drops everything on the floor where she stands - it's a health and safety issue going in her room

I have said to her tonight - don't ask to go out tomorrow night cos you're going nowhere until this shit hole is cleared up.... I can hear her now, drawers are opening and shutting and she's doing it. I realise I can't actually stop her going out but the purse will be closed so therefore there is a limit to where she can go haha

DS is slightly less messy but school uniform lives on the floor - you want to look like a scruff, be my guest...

Cleebope · 25/02/2016 22:59

I quite like tidying up after them, makes me feel like I'm still needed! Also I will miss the mess when they're gone. It would be nice if I didn't have to sniff socks and underwear to check which ones are dirty, though!

Kbear · 25/02/2016 22:59

I don't scream and yell about it though to be honest, I just say I'm not your servant (nicely passive aggressive haha) and come on, help out around here... and usually they comply. Tonight I was a bit of a grump so laid the law down to DD but honestly, what a tip.

Kbear · 25/02/2016 23:01

I gave DD clean duvet cover last Sunday (having put the sheet and pillowcases on the bed for her) and said "chuck that on your duvet" - all week she's slept without the duvet cover - meh... whatevs

LineyReborn · 25/02/2016 23:09

I do the full on Shit-tip Shout about once a month.

And insist more calmly on laundry and plates etc being brought down about once a week. It works best if I offer to reward these laborious tasks with cooked food.

Original poster

robin4 · 26/02/2016 00:14

If get grumpy about the mess. does anyone else feel like 'the wicked witch of the west' after?

OP posts:

Kbear · 26/02/2016 07:35

yes, always a feeling of "god you over reacted there kbear" but sometimes a bit of Shit-tip Shouting creates some action haha

DurhamDurham · 26/02/2016 07:57

When my two girls still lived at home as long as they kept the mess to their rooms we didn't fall out. They knew they had to clear up the kitchen and living room areas, I occasionally got in from work to find dishes in the sink........next to the dishwasher! I used to get annoyed so I think they did take that on board, if only to shut me up. Their bedrooms were awful, there were always clothes on the floor, mugs lying around and on one particular fragrant morning the remains of the night before's takeaway half peeking out from under the bed.

They both moved out last September, the youngest aged 18 moved out to go to Uni and her older sister aged 22 moved in with friends, she did spend the whole summer in USA working at a summer camp so I got used to not having her around. But with them both being gone I miss them so much, they came back for a few days at Christmas and within minutes it's like they never left.......bags on the floor, coat casually thrown over the chair. Me and husband said we wouldn't even comment on the mess and would just tidy once they'd gone........I had to bite my tongue a few times but I didn't want to fall out while they were back for a few days. Had a fab family Christmas but have to admit I was pleased to get the house back to normal once they had gone.

JustDanceAddict · 26/02/2016 08:52

I got very fed up with this last weekend. I felt like I did 'everything', bar DH's few tasks and the kids taking their plates to the counter after meals (if they remembered!). I decided to make a 'chore chart' for everyone, so days for clearing up after dinner, tidying the lounge, brining their laundry down to be washed, etc. Nothing to onerous, but I could see the pattern of laziness creeping in. I appreciate that I don't work out of the home so I am in a lot more to do the majority of the housework and I don't mind that, but I do mind being treated like a servant when I have tween/teen chldren who are more than able to clear up after themselves.
I will tidy DD's room today as her friend is comign to stay after school, and she was very tired last night (was asleep welll before 10pm which is unheard of usually) after representing her school at something, but normally I would expect her to do it herself and she knows that.
When they go to uni or move out they will know how to clear up, fill a dishwasher, cook basic meals, etc. DD then retorted 'then my housemates will expect me to do everything!'. Too clever for her own good that one...

JustDanceAddict · 26/02/2016 08:52

I got very fed up with this last weekend. I felt like I did 'everything', bar DH's few tasks and the kids taking their plates to the counter after meals (if they remembered!). I decided to make a 'chore chart' for everyone, so days for clearing up after dinner, tidying the lounge, brining their laundry down to be washed, etc. Nothing to onerous, but I could see the pattern of laziness creeping in. I appreciate that I don't work out of the home so I am in a lot more to do the majority of the housework and I don't mind that, but I do mind being treated like a servant when I have tween/teen chldren who are more than able to clear up after themselves.
I will tidy DD's room today as her friend is comign to stay after school, and she was very tired last night (was asleep welll before 10pm which is unheard of usually) after representing her school at something, but normally I would expect her to do it herself and she knows that.
When they go to uni or move out they will know how to clear up, fill a dishwasher, cook basic meals, etc. DD then retorted 'then my housemates will expect me to do everything!'. Too clever for her own good that one...

Original poster

robin4 · 26/02/2016 09:02

Comforting to know others get frustrated too, but what to do?. Don't mind what ds do in their rooms but don't know how to not just end up feeling like I'm forever clearing up. They are 18 and 22, one back from Uni, the other commuting to uni and although the older one washes his own clothes they end up drying forever around the house. Don't want to spoil the relationship as this time will soon be the past and I do love having them around-most of the time. DH thinks too much effort for too little gain, so feel alone with the frustration! Is it me......?

OP posts:

BigSandyBalls2015 · 26/02/2016 10:16

I'm torn between being moaning, nagging, cajoling to get them to do anything, or just quickly doing it myself to save the atmosphere. Not doing them any favours though is it in the long run. I can't stand a messy house though, makes me agitated, unfortunately the rest of my family couldn't give a shit.

YaySirNaySir · 26/02/2016 10:24

DS is tidy to the point of being a minimalist, hates disorder and mess.
DD says she can't think straight/get on with things if everything is tidy. That made me laugh, but I will have to go in her room when we run out of mugs.