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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Would you leave your 16 1/2yo teen home alone for a week?

99 replies

bigTillyMint · 10/02/2016 12:36

I know there is another thread about this but, with 3 days notice and a skiing holiday that she has loved for the past 11 years, mine is saying she is not coming, and is saying we are being unreasonable for not wanting her to stay home alone for a week.

DD is 16 1/2 and in Y12 doing AS levels.

OP posts:
Original poster
bigTillyMint · 10/02/2016 20:53

Well, we have had a chat (no shouting involved) and she now has to either decide to come or find friends to stay with and give me the details - I do not want to miss my holiday because of her.

OP posts:
ssd · 10/02/2016 20:57

no way would I leave her

bibbitybobbityyhat · 10/02/2016 20:58

Good news re. no shouting, but have you spoken to her about this business of thinking it's acceptable to make this "announcement" three days before you go?

Your whole thread has got me thinking about when dd (Y10) won't want to come on holiday with us any more Sad. Only last summer I was admiring a friend's fb photos of her family including their 20 year old dd and 17 year old ds all on a groovy holiday in Croatia together and I did think how kinda nice that looked.

Teaandcakeat8 · 10/02/2016 21:01

Will you still enjoy your holiday if you leave her or will you find it impossible to relax?

Original poster
bigTillyMint · 10/02/2016 21:04

She is maintaining that she has been saying it for ages. Well she did have the occasional moan, and has moaned more for the last couple of weeks, but not a clear "I really do not want to come and I will not be coming"
So maybe we weren't listening properly (giving her the benefit of the doubt) I certainly wish she had made it properly clear 2 weeks ago but I don't think she had really decided this 2 weeks ago

She is currently moaning on the phone to one of her best mates not that DH was wigging Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
bigTillyMint · 10/02/2016 21:05

Teaandcake, I don't know. But I do know that I felt incredibly stressed about it all this morning, and now I am laughing - thanks to all for your MN wisdomSmile

OP posts:
harridan50 · 10/02/2016 21:06

At the last minute like this no, this gives no time for a considered response.I would give her the option of going to stay with grandparents or joining us

Original poster
bigTillyMint · 10/02/2016 21:18

Have just suggested taking bf to her grandparents. It is not being well received!

OP posts:
cressetmama · 10/02/2016 21:37

Feeling for you, BTM. It is only a matter of time before DS realises he's in lurve and must spend time with his beloved. Right now, he's still nervous about kissing herthe whole idea. However spending time with GP would be the kiss of death. A week plus your travel time is probably too long to leave her though, especially with three days warning. Do you have an NDN who would police the situation politely?

Original poster
bigTillyMint · 10/02/2016 21:58

It's actually 6 nights. If our old NDN's were still here, I'm sure they would. But they moved 6 months agoSad

OP posts:
Whathaveilost · 10/02/2016 22:21

I did but I knew DS well enough to know he doesn't like people coming to the house ( there's nothing wrong it!!)
It was fine. I got his school report a couple of months later and he had retained his 100% attendance record.
All was well. He is nearly 20 now and I would do the same with DS2 who is now 16 and a bit and even more geeky than DS1!

lookoutitsapiano · 10/02/2016 22:43

Make her go, she'll enjoy it when she's there. They aren't young for long. She's probably just devastated to be leaving her boyfriend for a week, remember what it's like to be in love at that age! Smile

ProfGrammaticus · 10/02/2016 22:47

I think that's a good plan Tilly. I suspect she wouldn't actually like a week on her own and would get scared at night, which may lead to her inviting people round a lot, esp the boyfriend.

choceclair123 · 10/02/2016 23:13

No chance!

kslatts · 10/02/2016 23:20

I would leave dd1 (16), but my parents live 5 min drive away and I know she could contact them if she needed anything.

I would not be happy if she made a last minute decision not to come, if she had previously said she was coming and I had then paid for the trip I would expect her to come.

DramaAlpaca · 10/02/2016 23:22

No way would I leave a 16 year old home alone for a week.

I'd be very suspicious about the last minute change of mind.

I left our 16 year old for a weekend, but we weren't too far away and his 18 year old brother was home too. They survived, and so did the house.

Original poster
bigTillyMint · 11/02/2016 14:25

Update!

She has sorted out going to stay at nanny and granddad's (via party/sleepover at friends house Fri night). DH has told her she needs to give her house keys to him when she leaves and I have alerted all friends parents who are happy to have her to stay if necessary. As we would for them.

She has apologised a lot will need to kiss the floor DH walks on
and hopefully she has now learned that decisions like this need to be taken way in advance and not sprung at the last minute.

So now off with one excited teen. Unless there's an even more last-minute U-turn!

OP posts:
Curiousflannel · 11/02/2016 14:59

Sounds like a great result. Enjoy your trip.

Frazzled2207 · 11/02/2016 15:05

Excellent. Happy teenager and hopefully the rest of you will be able to have a good time now knowing her grandparents are keeping an eye.

ProfGrammaticus · 11/02/2016 16:18

Great result

bibbitybobbityyhat · 11/02/2016 20:29

Funny species, teens Confused.

A week with granny & grandad vs. a week skiing? How bizarre.

ProfGrammaticus · 11/02/2016 20:30

But skiing might mess up your haaaaaair 😀

bibbitybobbityyhat · 11/02/2016 20:37

Yes, and obvs in this case it involves being away with your dreary old mum & dad and sibling but still ... skiing is bloody great, isn't it? I've only been once, when I was 26 and childfree but it was soooooooo fab.

Anyway, very glad it's all sorted out nicely now bTM Grin

MuddhaOfSuburbia · 12/02/2016 10:11

oh I'm glad there's a Happy Ending, BTM

(I bet she has a little cry though at some stage in the week when she thinks of you all drinking Gluhwein, laughing)

teens are as tough as everyone says. 'No, Not MY Kid' I would think to myself as I heard yet another tale of WOE all those years ago

I was wrong

and now I have 12 yo twin girls

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