Internet rules???

[TwoTooManyKidz]

Hi I'm new and looking for advice

My DS (13) says my internet rules are unfair, he can use it for homework only and is supervised, and he's not allowed social media. He has a dumb phone that can only text me and EXDH.

Is this unfair?

Thanks x

I just think there are too many dangers on the Internet for his child brain to get around.

I think I might allow him to send a few texts per week to his friends to try it out and if anything goes wrong I can go from there

Oh dear maybe I am lax then! Both mine have Facebook and access to the Internet (including youtube). They are 9 and 12.

He won't learn to navigate the minefield unless he experiences it.

We get weekly reports on sites they visit online and Internet searches they make so not totally unaware about what they are up to

It is a learning curve and he has to learn those mistakes - maybe let him have an account but not to post unless you view it. Give him some responsibility of you want him to be responsible

No internet access apart from in family areas, the agreement that you hold all passwords and can check on any accounts for anything any time you choose ( and do so, not just an empty threat) and a discussion about what can and does go wrong when using social media.

Ok ArkATerre, I think I'll do that, and demented do you know where I can get this thing from that gives me weekly reports?

Providing I do let him use it, how long do I let him use it for and do I let him have it in his room?

Thanks x

Microsoft have something called microsoft family that does the reports for you.

account.microsoft.com/family/about

Thank you demented, I shall have a look at that and if EXDH stops being an utter twat I'll get him to do it to the laptop

Will his dumb phone be good enough to text his friends with or will I have to make the depressing jump to a smartphone?

Thanks again for your advice x

I too think you are being unfair and making life difficult for him, socially.
Teens these days do everything via their phones, you will be isolating him if he isn't allowed to do anything. I also suspect he'll just set up accounts via friends gadgets.
It's our job as parents to teach our dc how to be safe in this world, not ban them from anything that will harm them - in the same way you've no doubt taught him how to cross roads rather than saying he has to stay in the house all his life.

His current phone will be fine to text his friends. He can moan by text that his parents will only let him have an old fashioned Brick Phone and so no, they can't share that funny YouTube video with him

Sounds very harsh for a 13 year old. How does he make arrangements to meet his mates?

demented, how do you get a report of everything they've looked at?

Sorry, just saw the link!