14 year old bedtime/phone/internet

[Iwanttobeagranny]

Hi. It's been 12 years since we had a school age child at home but we now have a 14 year old living with us. What is a suitable bedtime and cut off time for wifi, phone etc? I have absolutely no idea. Thanks x

I don't give mine one, so long as she gets up for school and functions normally then I leave her to it.

Dd is 12 and has a 9.30pm bedtime school nights and 10pm weekends/holidays

Dd1 (13) is a night owl so even when I insist on a 9ish type bedtime she faffs around for ages and doesn't actually get to sleep till later than if I'd just left her alone.
I normally herd her upstairs 9.30-10ish. God knows what time she actually goes to sleep.
As long as she's up and alert in the morning, I don't mind. When she starts to complain about being tired and having a headache, I calmly and patiently (ha) explain - again - about the link between sleep and being fucking tired.

9.30/10 on school nights 11ish at weekends.

My 14 year olds head up to bed about 10ish on school nights, nearer midnight in hols/weekends.

No gadgets allowed in bed, they have to leave them downstairs.

My 15yr old bedtime 10pm, 12yr old 9.15pm, ditto no gadgets allowed after bedtime

That's school time btw, we're flexible on hols and weekends

My 14yr old ds is allowed on ps4 till 9 then at 10 I take phone and ipad away. He gets them back after he is ready for school the next morning. It was getting so he was on his phone or messaging all night and wouldn't frame himself for getting ready for school. Obviously at the weekend the same rules do not apply.

Thanks everyone. I'm going to go with 9.30 on school nights (first school night with us tonight) and remove gadgets at the same time and probably 10.30 weekends/holidays. Lol to Wishingchair xx

It depends on the child, how much sleep they need and what time they have to get up in the morning.

My teen only needs 8/9 hours, gets up at 7 so has a 10/11 bedtime on school nights. No limit during holidays/weekends.

If they are the type who messages friends late on their mobile you'd have to remove that from the room.

My 14 year old ds goes to bed around 11pm ish on school nights, sometime bit earlier if feeling tired, and always manages to get himself up at 7 for school etc. Later in school hols.

DD1 needs more than average sleep I think.

At secondary it was tech off 8pm, lights out 9pm. Until y11 when it was lights out whenever, but you have to be properly awake for school (usually her light went out by 9:30). This was waking up 7:30ish.

If this is a recent arrival, you may need to tread a fine line between what he/she is used to (and how well they have previously been parented in general) and what you think is suitable.

Arguments in our house are ALWAYS about the amount of time our teen DS spends on various bits of technology....no conversation, no interaction, CONSTANT checking of phone, even mid meal at one low point.....after recent (major) issues we confiscated the phone ( you can imagine how well THAT was received!), along with laptop, ipad, dock etc. He's just got his phone back, and can have it on him anytime he's out of the house, but it goes in a drawer in the kitchen while he's in the house. He's getting the other stuff back in increments. We have a 'no gadgets in your room at night' rule too, and when he puts his phone on in the morning, there are dozens of texts pinging in that have been sent all through the night that would have kept him up and awake, so I'm happy with the arrangement, even if he isn't. Computer use is monitored after we found out what he'd been watching online, and thats working OK too, altho I'm not stupid, and I'm aware he'll be watching stuff on his phone away from us, or at friends. But I do think its important that you instill boundaries, especially in the home. We try to work on reward for good not punishment for bad, but if we have to, the tech is where it hits hard first!

9.30 seems to be working ok at the minute although '9.30 in your room' does not mean '9.30 to sleep' lol Thanks again x

DS is 14 and he is in his room about 10pm, but goes to sleep when he is ready. He has his phone, ipad and now laptop as well in his room. As long as he gets up in the morning and isn't too tired at school, I don't really care. He puts his gadgets out of the way when he is ready. Currently he is not using them when he goes to bed, but is reading in bed instead and falling asleep really quickly!

my 13 yr old is a night owl. but when I go to bed (about 11pm) wifi gets switched off. and we font have 3G. plus I tend to remove her phone as Justin Beiber would still be in her ears at 7am.

14yr & 12yr boys- wi-if off at 9.30pm and then leave them too it. They have gadgets in their rooms.

They are up early 6.15am to leave the house at 7am. Biggest problem I have is getting 12 yr old to eat breakfast. He must be starving by break time.

DD 14 9pm on a school night. Unless she has a club. Works well for us.

Sorry, I did mean to reply again to this thread but I read the new messages and then forgot x

We have a no screens after 7:15pm (90 minutes before DD1`s bedtime) except for emergenices, Fridays, Saturdays or school holidays or if out with friends.

DD1 (12) bedtime- 8:45pm because she has to wake up at 6:45am to get picked up by friend at 7:15am to walk to the bus.

DD1 (2.5) bedtime- 6:30pm because she has to wake up at 7:30am for preschool.

Screens are allowed to be used until 9:30pm on Fridays, Saturdays and school holidays because dd1 usually goes to bed by 11pm on those days. DD2 gets to stay up until 8pm on those days playing with me, DH or DD1.