She's gone to her dad's.

[LilaTheTiger]

13, nearly 14yo DD had always been lovely. Easy baby, toddler, delightful, interested, bright child.

Hit 13 and is bored by most things, spends all her time in her room, near constant falling out with friends, lies about her age to try and date older boys, cuts herself, does as little to engage with the family as possible.

I'm fed up of her not turning her phone/laptop off at night and having to wake her up in the morning 3+ times. On Tuesday she started watching a film at 23.50. Getting her to school is constantly making me and younger DD late.

So, after many chances she's been told she needs to hand over her phone/laptop at 10pm.

MASSIVE strop ensued. Apparently I'm a bitch. She walked out, but we live in the middle of nowhere, so was only out 10 mins. Then she phoned her dad to come and get her. He agreed rule with me, said same would happen at its house.

She's text me this morning saying she's staying tonight as well. Then it's his weekend. So I won't see her til Monday.

Do I just let her get on with it? I've no idea what I'm dealing with now

Keep communicating with you exh and DD open let her satay at your exh, at least you know she is safe.

Sounds like something is going on with her, have you spoken to your GP about your DD cutting herself?

Also I'd implement a house rule, nobody is allowed laptop's/mobile phones in their bedrooms or TV's. It is very easy to be watching/playing online and before you know it it's early morning.

Call her in the evening to wish her good night and catch up with you exh as to what is happening. You will need to co-parent very closely to get thro this period with your DD.

Can you pinpoint exactly when she started the extreme behaviour, could something have happened?

I do think you need to seek help for her starting with school and GP.

School are aware of the cutting. She's seeing a counsellor, for all the good it's doing. There's almost no children's mental health in our county, so seeing the GP wouldn't do much good.

Sadly her dad is an arse, I was amazed he agreed with rule last night. Normally he disagrees just to piss me off. I will do my best always to co parent with him, however he's normally more concerned with winning.

Written down the behaviour seems more extreme. She's still doing well at school and doing homework and a hobby she loves.

I can't pinpoint anything in particular other than a friend she had last winter, now moved on, who introduced some older boys, that's where the cutting idea came from I think. She's not in touch with any of them now - not through my doing.