I was a dad to three big healthy boys, 21 yrs, 20 yrs, and 18, but I am now stuck in a nightmare as my youngest has just died.
He became ill with meningitis, and died of septicemia all in about 12 hours. The usual signs that you are supposed to look out for, ( and my wife and I have been aware of them since my eldest was born..neck ache,light hurting eyes,spots that don't go when you press a glass on them etc ) only began to appear 3 hours before he died.
Now we are preparing for his funeral, but things have slowed down as there is to be an inquest. I blamed myself for not getting the ambulance earlier, but my doctor said there was no way I could have known how serious it was. I was going through his room yesterday looking at his things, his clothes, his game controller on the floor where he left it. Picking up a few odds and ends I saw some old letters crumpled up in a corner. One of the letters ,about a year old, was from our surgery. When they grow up I thought it best to try and treat them like adults..give them any post that comes for them, and try not to be nosy, hoping they will tell you about anything important. It was a letter asking him to come and get his meningitis and septicemia vaccine, he must have ignored it.
I should have been nosy, or even thought about it myself, but my family have had a few problems lately, and things slip your mind.My doctor did ask if he had had the vaccine, and when we said we weren't sure she said it probably wouldn't have helped much anyway seeing how fast it took hold. So now I blame myself even more,which is why I have just joined Mumsnet, so I can perhaps make a few parents aware of just how terrible a thing like this can be, and maybe get as many of our kids vaccinated as we can.
One last thing, we have found a lot of support with Meningitis Now trust.
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A parents worst nightmare happened to me.
Crapgaz · 01/11/2015 22:00
I'm so sorry 
Please don't blame yourself, there was nothing you could do 
I am so sorry for your loss op. Many people find support on mumsnet and maybe you will be able to as well. Thank you for spreading awareness. There is nothing you could have done you know. Don't blame yourself. 
I am so very sorry for your loss. And so very grateful for your selfless reminder. A reminder not only about the dangers of meningitis but also about cherishing our "babies". My baby is 18 and I adore him. In fact I've just gone into his room to tell him that very thing. And to double check that he isn't "sitting on" a vaccination letter! Thank you.
I am so very sorry about your loss. It was not your fault xxx
So sorry for your loss
Please know that it is not in any way your fault
I'm so sorry you've lost your son Devastating for all of you.
The writer Michael Rosen lost his son Eddie at 18 to meningitis. He had studied medicine for several years at university but didn't realise how ill his son was. Meningitis is such a very terrible and swift illness :-( His book of poems Carrying the Elephant is about his loss. I thought of it when I read your OP.
I'll remember to get my children vaccinated, thank you for reminding me. My daughter is 16 and she hasn't had the vaccination yet.
So sorry for your loss. My eldest is only 12 but I'll be vigilant about the vaccines. Thank you for taking the time to remind us.
I have had them all privately vaccinated against men B which is now, thankfully, on the baby schedule. A 6yr old at their school died of men B a couple of years ago so the school ran a campaign to raise awareness. Otherwise I wouldn't have known about this or men X which I believe teenagers are particularly susceptible to.
Please don't blame yourself. It's a hideous infection which often takes hold before anyone has a chance to think about what is happening.
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