A parents worst nightmare happened to me.

[Crapgaz]

I was a dad to three big healthy boys, 21 yrs, 20 yrs, and 18, but I am now stuck in a nightmare as my youngest has just died.
He became ill with meningitis, and died of septicemia all in about 12 hours. The usual signs that you are supposed to look out for, ( and my wife and I have been aware of them since my eldest was born..neck ache,light hurting eyes,spots that don't go when you press a glass on them etc ) only began to appear 3 hours before he died.
Now we are preparing for his funeral, but things have slowed down as there is to be an inquest. I blamed myself for not getting the ambulance earlier, but my doctor said there was no way I could have known how serious it was. I was going through his room yesterday looking at his things, his clothes, his game controller on the floor where he left it. Picking up a few odds and ends I saw some old letters crumpled up in a corner. One of the letters ,about a year old, was from our surgery. When they grow up I thought it best to try and treat them like adults..give them any post that comes for them, and try not to be nosy, hoping they will tell you about anything important. It was a letter asking him to come and get his meningitis and septicemia vaccine, he must have ignored it.
I should have been nosy, or even thought about it myself, but my family have had a few problems lately, and things slip your mind.My doctor did ask if he had had the vaccine, and when we said we weren't sure she said it probably wouldn't have helped much anyway seeing how fast it took hold. So now I blame myself even more,which is why I have just joined Mumsnet, so I can perhaps make a few parents aware of just how terrible a thing like this can be, and maybe get as many of our kids vaccinated as we can.
One last thing, we have found a lot of support with Meningitis Now trust.

[tilliebob]

So sorry for your lost Crapgaz - I can only imagine how devastated you must all be just now.

I'm off to look into getting my teens vaccinated now too.

[SofiaAmes]

Here in the US, most universities require up to date vaccinations (including meningitis) for starting freshman in order to register for classes. At 18 they want to be adults, but really have another 7 years before a fully formed frontal lobe actually allows them to behave like adults.
Please don't blame yourself and thank you for posting because this thread will save someone else's life because it prods them into making sure their "adult" child gets their vaccination.
I am so sorry for your loss.

[KittyandTeal]

Shit. How awful for you. You are right, there is nothing worse than the death of your child, however old.

There are no words that will make you feel better I imagine.

[knaffedoff]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss, please come back and tell us more about Francis when you feel ready x