Do your teens have sleepovers if there are younger dc in the house?

[LittleSnaily]

Dsd is 17 and lives here full time. My children are younger and live here 50% of the time.

Dsd wants her friends to sleepover when my dc are home. I have said no as they are really messy, noisy and disruptive and up all hours.

She says this isn't fair because my dc are allowed sleepovers when she is here (although they are little and asleep early!).

AIBU? She can have her friends stay when my dc are not here.

Is it really a sleepover when they are 17? She is pretty much an adult. My 17yo has friends to stay regularly but they are quiet, polite and spend most of the time watching films and eating chocolate.

If i was you I would tell her that her friends can stay but only if she is respectful of the others in the house. If they get out of hand you can tell them to leave. It isn't like they are tots who can't make their own way home.

Yes of course. When the DSSs had friends for sleepovers and DD was little (say 5 or 6) she would join in and all the DC would sleep in the same bedroom, DD included!

Yes it's her home. My dd is 18 she has friends or her boyfriend over all the time, they are polite, and more likely to be studying or playing music than anything else. I have 3 younger ones and my eldest and her friends often play with them.

Same as everyone else really - at 17, it's surely 'having your mate round' - hardly a "party" sleepover. I would be surprised at them disrupting other people, however you presumably know the youngsters involved so I presume they are the exception to the norm.
In which case, why can't you just suggest they come over on the week that your dc aren't there?

If my DS has a sleepover (same age) they sleep downstairs and stay up late but quietly, watching films and eating snacks. Sometimes they have the odd cider but they don't make too much noise. So this would be ok with younger ones in the house.

I agree with cashew.

We do have a very small house which only has one open plan living area.

Dsd and her friends are probably quiet young for their age and are more like shrieky girls. Not remotely quiet at all. :/

I have said she can have sleepovers when the house is not occupied by younger children but they are so noisy it's not practical otherwise.

Give her and one of her more sensible friends a chance. Tell thrm both that you need then to keep the noise down after x time and explsin what that means (not being able to hear them from elsewhere in the house, no shrieking etc). Tell them that you're trusting them not to disturb younger siblings and if they do you won't repeat the trust.