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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Proud of DS Thread

100 replies

Drew64 · 05/10/2015 16:22

Our DS has been talking to a girl he met through school friends online, Skype.
She lives with her parents in Dubai (Expats)
They have met, earlier this year. They were back in the uk for a few weeks on holiday.
They have really taken a shine to each other (smitten)

Our DS turns 16 in December and he did want everyone to give him money for his birthday and Christmas so he could buy himself a gaming PC but he's not changed his mind.
He said he wants the money to go out to Dubai to gee his GF, how sweet it that!

So DW and I have had a long chat, we've spoken to her parents and have now booked him on a flight shortly after he breaks up for Christmas.

I'm so proud of the sacrifice he is making.

OP posts:

Sparklingbrook · 06/10/2015 10:40

I haven't 'jumped' on you nor criticised you Joni I was talking about a general thing on MN. That's all.

I'm out.

usual · 06/10/2015 10:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Floralnomad · 06/10/2015 10:47

I don't think all teen boys are sex obsessed , I doubt the OPs son is but that doesn't make it any less ridiculous that the OP has started a thread titled 'proud of DS thread' . If this makes the OP proud he can't have very high expectations of his DC . I'm sure most of us are proud of our DC a lot of the time for things they do but you would save posting about it for real woohoo moments like my DS has got a first class degree / won a gold medal / raised x thousands of pounds for charity not my DS has decided to holiday in Dubai rather than have a new computer !

Original poster

Drew64 · 06/10/2015 10:50

You all seem so negative for what was meant to be a positive post...shame!

My Son is perfectly capable of getting on a long haul flight safely, on his own and I'm proud that we have bought him up to be so independent.
Judging by some of the responses some of you seem not to have bought your children up to be so independent and may well still be holding onto your apron strings

My Son can also be trusted in the company of his GF and her family. We have bought him up to be respectful and polite and we are proud of the young man he has become.
I am shocked that some of you clearly don't trust your children and fear for any potential partners they may meet. We will probably find your son's being posted about on the relationships board in the near future.
If that's what you think of your own children heaven knows how they will turn out as young adults.

I won't bother going into any other details to put you right where you have assumed wrongly...because I can't be arsed arguing with people who don't know how to bring up their children to be respectful, independent and trusted.

OP posts:

Sparklingbrook · 06/10/2015 10:52

jonicomelately · 06/10/2015 10:53

I have boys too. They are lovely and gentle and sweet but the eldest is experiencing a sexual awakening and so too are his friends. It's normal. Nothing to be ashamed of, they can control it perfectly well and I certainly wouldn't 'vilify' him for it. It's nice watching him grow up and develop actually. I don't have a clue what's been said about boys on other threads but that doesn't reflect my views.
As for the OP, my DS would happily give up his Xbox if a girl agreed to hold his hand in exchange for it! There's no doubt in my mind the OP's DS is at least hoping for that when he arrives in Dubai. She's his girlfriend for god's sake after all and age difference and general weirdness of the sky ping and distance etc aside, it's pretty bloody normal!

MyballsareSandy · 06/10/2015 10:57

Wow!! A 16 year old boy travelling round the world to meet his 14 year old girlfriend! Who he hardly knows! Why on earth would you encourage this, seems madness to me.

I have two 14 year old girls and I just couldn't contemplate a 16 year old lad arriving from overseas to visit one of them. Blimey, I've only just got my head round the idea of DD2 skyping a lad her own age from Crawley.

LilacSpunkMonkey · 06/10/2015 11:01

Well, gosh OP, you refer to us all as fuckwits then come back with that post?

You're not goady or looking for a fight at all, are you?

jonicomelately · 06/10/2015 11:03

Normal to want a girlfriend I mean! For the avoidance of doubt I think what the OP's DS is doing is not normal at all...

Original poster

Drew64 · 06/10/2015 11:14

LilacSpunkMonkey

I'm not arguing...a lot of posters should really question their parenting skills

OP posts:

Sparklingbrook · 06/10/2015 11:15

it just gets worse....

titchy · 06/10/2015 11:17

Encouraging independence is one thing.

Thinking he is actually sacrificing something when he isn't, and being proud of the fact that at 15 he thinks this is a good idea is something entirely different.

And shame on you for not having the wisdom or maturity yourself to think about the very real consequences of this. And I'm talking about the very real possibility that the 'relationship' (really, it's not) goes very tits up very quickly once he's there, and he'll have no support in dealing with that, and no way to quickly extricate himself from the situation.

Mrsjayy · 06/10/2015 11:23

Wow look at our parenting skills.
you and your sons mother were disagreed with nobody on this thread with boys or girls thinks going to dubai to stay at a strangers house to meet a girlfriend is a good idea but you seem to think he is admirable romantic young man quite frankly your heads up your backside and I think you should be looking at your parenting skills this is nothing to do with the ability to get on a plane.

TheFairyCaravan · 06/10/2015 12:03

DH and I brought our sons up to be kind, considerate, trustworthy young men. Both are completely independent and are able to cope in the big wide world without us.

I'm proud of the fact that last week, during Freshers, DS2 found a girl from his uni outside a club crying because she'd lost her purse, got separated from her friends and didn't know how she'd get home. He called her a taxi and gave her a tenner, despite the fact there is an agreement with the taxi firm to take female students back for free, incase something went wrong and waited with her until the taxi came.

SuburbanRhonda · 06/10/2015 12:10

fairycaravan

That's the sort of post I thought this thread was trying to encourage.

Not "So proud of my amazing son, who turned down one expensive gift for another expensive gift. My parenting skills are on another level to everyone else's and you all need to take a long hard look at where you lot are all going wrong"

Mrsjayy · 06/10/2015 12:12

Aye that is something to be proud off well done that boy sounds a lovely kind soul.

Sparklingbrook · 06/10/2015 12:14

DS1 (16) got himself a P/T job. He emailed all the local businesses and asked if they were recruiting. It just so happened one was. He was called in for a chat and an interview and within a week had done his induction and was working for them.

That made me very proud. Confidence is not top of his list of personality traits but since he started there's a difference in that.

Mrsjayy · 06/10/2015 12:24

See something else good for him

TheFairyCaravan · 06/10/2015 12:27

Well done to SparklingBoy.

Part time jobs give them so much more than just wages IME.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 06/10/2015 12:31

My three sons are all independent, respectful and trustworthy, and there is no way, on God's clean earth, that I would have allowed any of them, at only 16, to travel to Dubai to visit a virtual stranger, who they have only met briefly, and have corresponded with online.

And if I were the parents of a 14 year old girl, I would not be encouraging them to invite someone they don't really know, half way across the world - especially not a boy!

I don't think asking for money for a holiday to Dubai, to meet a girl, is anything to be particularly proud of - no sacrifice involved there.

Sparklingbrook · 06/10/2015 12:31

Your story is great TFC, I am a bit panicked that Uni may only be 2 years away. Fresher's Week, Yikes,

You are not wrong about the job. He's on the till and answering the phone and I am seriously .

Samcro · 06/10/2015 12:34

your son sounds lovely...\but no way on this earth would I have done this.

CakeUpWall · 06/10/2015 12:43

I didn't buy my children up at all. To procure them, DH and I had a shag, at no cost, and 9 months later out popped a baby. Just in case you were wondering, OP.

Moreover, I'm quite confident that they have been very well brought up, thankyouverymuch.

TheFairyCaravan · 06/10/2015 13:15

I'm much happier now Freshers, it was 2 weeks where he is, is over, tbh Sparkling.

3catsandcounting · 06/10/2015 20:05

Cake - that was the first thing I noticed on OPs latest, long post (that and the fact he used the word 3 times!!)

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