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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

According to DS2 I am an evil dictactor....taking laptop on holiday...

26 replies

WankerDeAsalWipe · 05/08/2015 19:58

or rather not taking laptop on holiday. We fly out to Turkey tomorrow and I've said "No", DH has said "No" and he is kicking off.

Is it really that unreasonable? He is allowed to take small tech such as his phone and PsVita. He is also getting an ipod for his birthday while we are away but he doesn't know about that.

We are infringing his civil rights apparently. We are only away for 9 days and he has already had 5 weeks of computer gaming.

OP posts:

NotEnoughTime · 05/08/2015 20:28

How old is he?

Original poster

WankerDeAsalWipe · 05/08/2015 20:58

He'll be 14 on Sunday.

OP posts:

dexter73 · 05/08/2015 21:48

I would probably let him take it but then it's not up to me!

FiveGoMadInDorset · 05/08/2015 21:52

If he is going to take his laptop to game on then there is no point him going on holiday and he may as well stay at home, but that is just my opinion.

Sparklingbrook · 05/08/2015 21:55

i have teen sons and I would take it.

Original poster

WankerDeAsalWipe · 05/08/2015 22:03

that's my point Five he could sit upstairs in his bedroom at home and play on computer - we are going away to have a holiday, it's only 9 days not a lifetime. I don't mind a bit of tech for using while travelling and for a little chill out time in the afternoon when it's hot and a little bit in the evening, it's not like I am saying you can't take anything. There is no wifi in the villa, so we will have to go to the bar or something for access to the internet. I just don't want him spending the whole holiday indoors or moaning about when he can get the laptop out - it's also a large laptop so not particularly portable.

dexter, if we were holidaying in the uk then I probably would let him take it as we would be doing activities together during the day and then chilling out at night - we don't really watch tv. It was also just be popped in the car. But abroad we will be relaxing a lot in the sun during the day and he can have freedom to hang out with his brother and any other people he can find so the evenings will be more our family time.

I am exhausted and need this holiday and want to have time together for the last couple of years before he and his brother don't want to come with us anymore.

I find that if I just ignore him he tends to calm down. He has a history of being a pain in the arse at some point on every single holiday we've ever have.

OP posts:

NotEnoughTime · 05/08/2015 22:44

Sorry for late reply.

I have a teenage DS and I don't think I would want him to take it especially as he access to other gadgets.

However I wouldn't force him not to take it because if he sulks/goes into a strop it could spoil the holiday for you all.

Good luck-it is a tricky age

Sparklingbrook · 05/08/2015 22:46

The summer DS1 was 14 we went on holiday and he refused to leave the apartment the first morning. So we went out without him. It is indeed a tricky age.

Original poster

WankerDeAsalWipe · 05/08/2015 22:47

Thanks not enough he can spoil it regardless as if he takes it it will be constant pressure for him to get on it, If it isn't there then he will just have to suck it up and get on with it and there is at least a chance he'll just forget about it :o

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Original poster

WankerDeAsalWipe · 05/08/2015 22:48

DS1 has just turned 15 but is soooo much easier :)

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AcrossthePond55 · 05/08/2015 23:44

We travel in a caravan and had a similar issue about 12 years ago with then 14 yr old DS and the PS3. We compromised with allowing him 60 minutes of gaming a day when we were on holiday and he accepted that condition since the alternative was none at all. He usually took his hour at night after we were done with whatever we were doing that day and had eaten dinner, but before we lit the campfire.

Laptops are easily damaged and/or stolen. I don't think I'd let him take it, especially if you're in accommodation that can be accessed by staff.

Laughed at infringing on his civil rights. They are soooo dramatic at that age.

Original poster

WankerDeAsalWipe · 05/08/2015 23:52

Thanks acrossthepond like your DS, he will have time out to do hiss own thing and play games on his phone and PSvita and whatever other small tech he wants to take - I quite like playing myself so I do get that he needs some time to do what he likes. I don't think I am a "dictator" :)

Yes strange how he knows all about his rights but when you remind him that with rights come responsibility that is a bit less of interest.

He is overall a pretty good lad, apart from just been stubborn and self obsessed, he doesn't give us any trouble and I understand he needs to push the boundaries but i do get fed up with the "'tude".

I haven't had a full week off since last July, I thoroughly need this holiday and he will spoil it at his peril!!

OP posts:

AcrossthePond55 · 06/08/2015 03:21

It'll all come out OK. Both of mine have told us that they now understand what we meant when we told them no and said 'don't be in such a hurry to grow up' and that they now see why we did the things we did that so infuriated them at the time.

Of course it took them 10 years to realize it!

Timetogetup0630 · 06/08/2015 11:24

Stick to your guns on this one. Sounds like he has enough electronics.

We are on holiday at the moment, staying with relatives in the USA.
I wish I had said No. DS 15 has spent every day gaming online with his friends at home and has to be dragged moaning and complaining from the apartment.

Complete waste of money taking him on holiday. He would have been quite happy home alone with a freezer full of frozen pizza. ( don't report me to social services please

BareGrylls · 06/08/2015 14:42

Two teenage boys here 19 and 17 and I would stick with no.
I find that without gadgets they spend all day larking in the pool, joining in with the water polo, playing cards with the boring parents and reading actual books. In fact DS2 will get through a book a day and yet never read for the rest of the year (we both like a good Lee Child book).
With the option of a laptop they would do very few of those things.
We are going to a hotel in a couple of weeks without free wifi. They will have their phones and tablets for the flight but will happily go without for the rest of the holiday. They revert back to type as soon as we get home.

DarkHeart · 06/08/2015 16:08

Stick to your guns! I took my ds nearly 14 for a week to France in July and stuck to no laptop. He loves to game but on holiday he forgot about being online and went in the sea, to an aqua park and generally engaged a lot more in family life.

Original poster

WankerDeAsalWipe · 06/08/2015 16:36

Thanks all, we are at the airport with no laptop. He had packed it in his backpack as I discovered when I went into his room this morning. I took it out and put it away. He spent the morning looking for it but obviously couldn't ask me where it was. He found it and put it back in. There was a bit of a stand off where he had the option of putting the laptop away or the whole bag wasn't going. Left him 10 minutes to think about it. went back and he was still in a mood but asked for a proper explanation of why he couldn't take it. I explained and left him alone and he went and put it away... he's fine and we are waiting to board.

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AcrossthePond55 · 06/08/2015 17:05

The explanation is "Because we are your parents and we say so"

Have a lovely time.

Original poster

WankerDeAsalWipe · 06/08/2015 17:09

Thanks, yes that was the crux of the reason

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eyebags63 · 06/08/2015 20:20

I would take.... his holiday he can do what he wants with the time surely? Preferable to 9 days of a sulking teen as well. As long as he joins in family meals, any planned outings, etc.

Travelledtheworld · 07/08/2015 10:12

Well done hope you have/had a great holiday .

specialsubject · 07/08/2015 12:05

civil rights? Evil dictator?

in an adult this would be 'ignorant and entitled'. In his case it is a childish tantrum. Ignore and leave the laptop behind.

leave him behind too at PGL somewhere cold and damp

Sparklingbrook · 07/08/2015 12:11

I would have taken it. I couldn't be doing with stand offs before going on holiday.

Original poster

WankerDeAsalWipe · 07/08/2015 16:11

We are in the sun, laptop at home, both been great no sulks no tantrums. Had a quieting day as all tired. DS2 fell asleep in the pool. He's been happy enough with pool stuff, his books and short interludes indoors on his vita and phone. Told them Alf an hour ago that I had the WiFi code but they've not appeared for it yet. He likes to have a wee strip to himself and then just gets on with it.

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AcrossthePond55 · 07/08/2015 22:33

That's why we love them so much, isn't it?

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