13y daughter needs motivation!!!!

[Laujay]

I really Need some advice. My 13years old is very online savvy, and I don't mind that... It's just constant!! I can't get her to do anything!! She won't go out with friends ( once in a blue moon) she's snappy if I suggest going out, just to local shops, or walking the dog. She doesn't have a hobby and I know I won't be able to get her into one, as she is fairly shy. All she is happy doing is staying home, tv, internet, and her pets!!! Help I'm so worried she'll become very lonely. She's happy enough but has been bullied and is finding it hard to find the right friends for her. Please any advice is welcome. Xx

Oh, this is a hard one and you have my sympathy.

What sort of things does she look at online? Wondering if there is a chance to translate that - in part - to the 'real world'.

Do her friends have hobbies that she might enjoy too - something she can just go along to/do with them?

Do you have hobbies you can involve her in?

What about inviting a friend over to do something with your dd on a regular basis - baking, crafts, board game, makeovers, etc.

What plans have you got for the summer break?

I think sometimes it is easy to 'live' online when real life has proved difficult. And 13 is a notoriously hard age.

My ds is the same. Sometimes I let him be, other times I 'bully' him to do something, and he finds he actually enjoys himself! Who knows what goes on in their little heads?

Does she like horses? Are there any stables nearby you could speak to and see if she can get a Saturday/Sunday job in exchange for rides etc. My husbands niece was exactly the same and this transformed her... She absolutely loved caring for the horses and ponies, grew in confidence, met other girls her age doing the same thing etc.

Could she do voluntary work at a pet rescue place/Dog's Trust/other animal charity, or a charity shop which raises money to support animals? I know a lot of places require you to be 16, but my DD did an hour a week at a local independent pet rescue shelter, and I know her friend volunteered in a (non animal related) charity shop from 14, she just wasn't allowed to go on the till until she was 16.