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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Holiday romance...and long distance.. Help!!!

8 replies

Poppydoll1 · 11/07/2015 23:59

My dd 15 has met a boy 16 on holiday and they really hit it off .. Problem is there's 100 miles between them. Since coming home they are constantly messaging and snap chatting (we have had conversations as to what is/isn't acceptable) I'm gutted for her that she's so far away from him as she seems so loved up and reading their messages he is too. I'm worried that he's stringing her along.. This is her first romance so from her point of view she's bound to be all loved up. I feel everything regarding it is out of my control and I hate it.. I just wish I knew if it was going to go anywhere.. I've told her that if they want to meet up I'm happy to take her to see him as we have friends that way but it has to be a two way street. I've also explained that things may not go the way she hopes (to which she became teary eyed) help!!!!!! I only have one dc and this is all so new to me

OP posts:
Newtobecomingamum · 12/07/2015 17:41

I remember when I was her age and met a boy 'I fell in love with' on holiday : )

My mum did exactly the same supported and assisted with a visit to his and he came and visited me. We use to write letters to each other and within a couple of months it fizzled out mutually.

I think you are doing everything right. Make sure you remember In her eyes 'it's a serious relationship' and never mock it and just be there to listen etc as you have been. She will then always be open to taking to you and feel that you take her seriously and are treating her like a grown up. I had such a great relationship with my mum at that age I remember asking about kissing and speaking to her about feeling ready to take things further when I later had a serious boyfriend etc. We discussed contraception and I felt I could talk to her about anything and everything. I got great advice (not always what I wanted to hear.. But I listened to it) and she then knew everything what was going on (she might not have like it but at least she could advice and be emotionally supportive).

You sound like a great mum who she feels she can talk to. That is the most important thing.

Newtobecomingamum · 12/07/2015 17:46

Ps forgot to add.. Don't lay it on to thick about it might not work out blah blah. This is just going to upset her. All you can do is support and be there for her. You can casually drop in that long distance relationships are hard work and can be difficult blah blah but don't direct it to her specifically.

There will be lots of tears and upset from boys to come... You can't shield her from everything. It's life and she will learn grow and develop from experiences. All you can do is be there for her.

creamoftomato · 12/07/2015 17:47

Ah just reading this has taken me back :) but am mainly posting to mention that I have very good friends who met in similar circumstances at the same age and it never did fizzle out! We are in our 30s now and they are really happily married with kids! You never know ;)

Original poster
Poppydoll1 · 12/07/2015 17:59

Ty. I just feel totally out of my depth in some respects. It's finding a happy medium of not asking too much but knowing enough.. And saying just the right thing. It's a big learning curve for us both. He's still messaging her but she's phoned and he's not picked up.. So god knows.. Looks like it could be a bit of a rollercoaster ride. Just sort of bums me out that they don't live closer to even attempt something easier

OP posts:
Newtobecomingamum · 12/07/2015 18:14

It must be tough but don't get too involved... Just let her come to you when she wants to talk. Try not to worry so much Flowers

2catsfighting · 13/07/2015 14:57

On the positive side OP, if it was a relationship with someone from school which broke up, she might have to still see him everyday.....

Rascalls3 · 13/07/2015 17:04

My daughter had a 2 year holiday romance from 15-17 years old with a lad who lived about 140 miles away. They would take it in turns to visit each other ( on the train after the initial long drive for the adults to meet) They would see each other one or two weekends a month.

To be honest with FaceTime etc it wasn't difficult to maintain a relationship. It also gave her plenty of time for studying! Obviously they do have to trust each other and a fortune was spent on rail fares!!

Although in the end they fell out quite spectacularly it was a successful first romance.

scatterthenuns · 14/07/2015 08:53

Ah young love! Just sit back and let her enjoy for now. The distance will probably mean it fizzles out without too much drama eventually.

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