sigh... how much "keep" to charge...

[operaha]

dd 17 has left college to work at a vair nice hotel, doing an nvq.
fine, lovely, etc but I lose maintenance, child benefit and tax credits (which given that my partner has just left,not her dad, I really really need).
I estimate she has about 800 a month coming in.
I reckon I'll lose 200.
would you ask for this much? She still has to live and eat here, I'll still do all her washing and cooking.... Seems am awful lot to ask.
I left home at her age so never paid my parents, don't have a clue about these things!

£200 sounds like a bargain for food, room, laundry etc etc etc - it's only £50 a week and still leaves her with £600pcm for travel, clothes and socialising, which unless she has a massive travel bill is quite a lot.

Though it would be more reasonable to think in terms of what she costs rather what you are losing. If she moves out you lose it anyway, but would then not have the related costs.

You should charge her what it costs or alternately think of it like do you have 600 a month to spend on yourself?

I'm guessing not if your budgets that tight.

She will have 600 to spend on clothes, driving lessons, sweets and junk food - that's plenty

£200 per month seems like a fair amount to me.

Sounds fair.

My DD is a couple of years older but earning similar. She pays £30 a week but does run a car. We lent her a small amount of money towards the car so she is still paying this back and is expected to save money towards repairs

I touched on this with her tonight.
it did not go well!

I don't think it's unreasonable

However, if she is upset would it be worth forgetting what you are "losing" and work it out on what you are spending if you see what I mean

So if she moved tomorrow you would still be £200 down, but your bills would be cheaper and you would spend less on food

So work out a charge for food and bills

Does that make sense? It does in my mind but it can be a very strange place sometimes

I don't agree with charging kids to live in their own home. If she were an adult maybe, but she isn't.

The home has to be paid for and if the OP is really struggling to keep the home running it is not unreasonable to expect a full time worker to pay their way.

I would base it on what it costs in food, a percentage of utility bills and CT when she turns 18.

My 21 year old pays £200 per month and 1/3 of the council tax. He washes his own clothes but I do cook meals.

My mum was brought up with the rule of thirds and applied it to us...it still loosely works to this day now I've long since left home (i had university placements where I lived at home when it first started).
1/3 rent and bills
1/3 savings
1/3 disposable

It might fluctuate (I'm quite senior now so have 'capped' disposable at £500 and pay the rest off the mortgage) but I really do think it was a good habit to start.

£200 sounds more than reasonable!
It's also very good practice IMO to get into the habit of having to put some aside for boring things.

she may not be 18 but she is working full time.
Yes to the posters who said about making her see what it "costs" living here. I'll work it out like that. I already said I'd give £10 to each driving lesson so I can wangle it to look a bit cheaper.

rule of thirds is not a bad place to start.

If she moves out she will be paying a lot more than £200 a month and it's time she learnt that. Sit her down, show her the bills, say it's time to realise what things cost.

If you can afford to say from the £200 towards, say, a house dposit for her then do so but really £200 is not a lot.