How do you manage work around a difficult teenager?

[GraceGildee]

Because I just can't anymore. I am self employed but need to be available during regular hours for my work or clients aren't interested. Between CAMHS appointments, going into school, trying to get her to go to school and dealing with awful behaviour and the effect on the other members of the family, it's impossible. I cut down my hours and lost even more work and now I have nothing.

I'm not earning any money and we're managing on one wage but getting into debt. I'm not entitled to any benefits. I feel that my life just revolves around dealing with my daughter and doing loads of washing.

Sorry to whinge and I know it will be better one day.

It's hard and I don't work! I have some friends in your situation who have given up work recently. We all moan that now the teens are older they need us more and we spend our lives washing and chasing after them . Sorry, not a very helpful post but you aren't alone

Its difficult isn't it. I have had a serious illness for the last 18 months so had to give up work and although clearly things have been very tough on lots of levels it has helped being around more, although not financially as I lost quite a decent wage but I sell alot on line now. My bf does it and makes more than she used to working!

Its a thankless task being a Mum isn't it. I spend more time in the utility room than the living room I am sure!

Sometimes life goes off in a totally different track doesn't it and we have to alter our lives to accommodate those unexpected changes. I have changed things like where we food shop (loads of tips on credit crunch thread) and have time to look for deals and saved loads. You will get through this tough time. I would say you need people to talk to if there are no friends who get where you are (as I found being ill) we are all here for you to support. People always say now their dcs are older I can work more hours etc but I have found with mine they seem to need me around even more than before!!

Incidentally you are not whinging xx

I am the same. God knows how I would manage if I worked full time.

Over the last one month (since my ds took an overdose), mostly during school hours, we have had to see the psychiatrist twice, CAMHS have done 5 home visits, six private psycho-therapist visits (2 hour round trip), one school visit, taking him into school at funny hours because he is doing flexitime (school is half an hours drive away), two psychotherapy visits for me and his dad all along with never leaving him on his own in the house once since May 12th.

And I also have 3 other dc's who have their own demands and activities.

I used to work nights but have stopped in the last couple of months because I have to leave too early and need to be here in the evenings. I now do a couple of early shifts but even they are eating in to the time I need to spend doing 'ds' stuff!

And the washing for 6 of us, plus we have two holiday cottages on our farm and I do the washing and ironing of the duvet covers & sheets for that!!

I SO know where you are coming from.

There is NO way I could support ds through his problems if I worked, but afaic, it is a price I have to pay to keep him alive at the moment (sorry if that sounds dramatic, but at the moment it's how I feel )

Do you have any family or friends who can help with the CAMHS appointments? During these times I have found when friends say they will help whenever they can, they really mean it. Figure out what you absolutely have to do, and what you can ask for help on. Can your partner take up any of the slack, i.e., help get her out of the house in the morning?

Unfortunately no one else can help with appointments etc, my DH does his bit but he needs to be in work. If he loses his job (he's a contractor and they can end it with a weeks notice) we are truly stuck.

She's stomping around at the moment in a foul mood and I'm waiting to see if tonight we will end up in a&e again. there is no end in sight.