Daughters friend threatening to kill herself

[RubyMonster]

My daughter is 15 and has a friend of the same age who frequently threatens to kill herself, posting on Twitter and texting and upsetting my dd a great deal. The other child doesn't get on with their parents- they both want different things for her and I think they have a row and she threatens suicide.

I honestly don't know what to do here, this is becoming a weekly event and I don't know the other parents very well and my dd says if I try to speak to them it will make everything much worse.

I feel that the other girl relishes the attention and concern she gets from my dd and others but I don't know if she's serious or not about wanting to kill herself. Do I tell someone? I don't mind speaking to the parents but my DD is begging me not to.

You could tell her parents, as you might save her life, but it may or may not be true. Get your DD to stop looking at Twitter and to tell her friend to speak to her GP or a school counsellor.

The child is begging for help. The threats are her over-acting because no-one is helping. You need to talk to her parents so that she can get the help she needs. It is unlikely that she means the things she says right now but she may attempt to make her threats look more realistic and the result of that could be fatal due to lack of knowledge.

Could you contact the school perhaps. If you don't know the parents it may be awkward, unless you think there is an immediate risk. The school should haveechamis in place to deal with these things. It is good your daughter is talking to you. Keep encouraging that.

If they are at school together, definitely speak with the school as they will speak to the parents and they will not implicate your DD. You could look on Young minds website,(also Papyrus,) which has useful info to help your DD tells her friend to try and talk to teachers, a GP or other adults, so she understands she can get help, even if she cant talk to her family(as she is over 14). If someone this young makes a suicide threat tell someone as its impossible to gauge if she is is serious at this vulnerable age , and if anything did happen to her friend, it would have a huge impact on your DD. If not at the same school, I would make the parents aware, if I knew them unless I though this might be harmful for the teen.I would make clear that their DD trusts your DD, so they should handle carefully. My DD did attempt suicide a few years ago, and I wish someone had talked to me earlier.

If I were this girl's parent, I'd want to know even if there's nothing in it, so unless you feel it's going to cause problems for her personally (ie abuse from parents), then I'd say something. If you're reluctant to do this, at least phone the school as it's upsetting your daughter (so good for them go know) and they can provide help and support to the girl if needed.

"The other child doesn't get on with their parents- they both want different things for her and I think they have a row and she threatens suicide"

Tell the school, you'll just be stirring if you contact the parents directly, in spite of your best intentions & I'm sure they do love her too. At the moment your DD is a release valve for her, don't damage that by making it obvious how confidences were violated.