If you're out at work and your teens are at home during schools hols, what state is your house in on your return?

[MyballsareSandy]

DH and I left before our DDs (14) were awake yesterday, and returned about 7pm. They got up about 11am and went out at 3ish to meet friends, they were still out when we got home.

The kitchen was a bomb site, breakfast and lunch stuff left out and dirty dishes scattered around. It looked like one of them had tried to cook a pizza with the polystyrene base still on it, as the base was welded to the oven shelf!

The bathroom had wet towels everywhere and open doors, cupboards with stuff hanging out. Shitty skid marks in toilet.

I think one of them had attempted to get a stain out of her clothes using dry vanish crystals and a duster, as this was all over the ironing board and floor.

Despite notes everywhere the alarm wasn't put on when they left, and they didn't double lock the front door. They are very aware that there was a burglary in our road last week and this is high up on our list of worries at the moment.

I'm pissed off, but DH seems much more laid back about it, no-one died, they're just teens etc etc.

No quite as bad but unless I tell them what might need doing it won't occur to them to do anything. I have had a rant recently and they said they would rather me nag than rant. So I've taken to texting them with a list. Just basics like Dishwasher, Hoover, Washing, Dogs.

Oh I'd be pissed off too. We tend to give our two (14 and coming up 16) chores in the holidays, so as well as tidying up after themselves they get to clean the house, walk the dog, cook supper for everyone and other things we'd otherwise do at the weekend/in the evening. Nothing too onerous, just acknowledging that they are off and we are working really.

We have a whiteboard for the same reason HookedonHooking, tasks set in advance are rarely complained about, but ds gets very angry if he thinks we've sprung some demand on him without enough notice.

Yes. They don't mind doing it when asked. D1 in particular is helpful. But they just don't see fluff and crumbs and shoes on the floor or a full sink or filth.

Yes text them a daily list - great idea!

Also tell them to clean up the mess they make as they make it. So straight after using the bathroom skid marks would be cleaned and towel hung up. After cooking, the oven/dishes/surfaces would be cleaned.

Who cleaned up the mess in the end?

What are their jobs normally?

I wouldn't nag. I would just turn off the wifi and not cook them a meal.

Mine are 16 and 14. If I came back to that i like to think I would shout calmly and cheerfully - "Time to clear up guys!" and pull a few faces so some sheepish clearing up would happen. The alarm I would talk about later.

Thank God we are teachers and around when they are - even then it gets messy! Not looking forward to the month after the GCSE's!

If 15yo DD has been home alone we usually return to a massive dent in the sofa due to her having not really moved from it!! That and a mess in the kitchen from where she's made breakfast and lunch.

I do sometimes leave a few jobs for her but TBH it's not that often that she's home for a long time without us.

Mmh I can relate to this. Something similar happened (DTS 13). I did have a massive hissy fit. We decided an allocation of jobs was the answer. Eg One is responsible for cooking and the other clearing up. I suspect the clearing up doesn't actually happen until my key is virtually in the front door but by and large it is done. I think interesting methods may be used ( dustpan and brush on the work surface DS is responsible for clearing up !) and the time honored method of things being stuffed under cushions and rugs but I am turning a blind eye to this.
My main methods of controlling it are pocket money and remote internet access of social media websites. Haha rubs hands
Anyway, pride comes before a fall , but so far it is working. I think focus on a few key tasks that you consider non negotiable.

Day off today and Dd 16 is in a frenzy of cleaning her own room, mainly to avoid revising for GCSE's, and also because it is full of spiders webs.
Ds 14 is still asleep but I was touched to come in yesterday and find he had voluntarily emptied the dishwasher.

Otherwise the house is full of wet towels, dirty clothes, crisp and sweet wrappers and school bags and books exactly where they were dumped too weeks ago.

Mine is in exactly the same state as I left it, with possibly an unflushed toilet, as DS will have been motionless in front of his laptop all the time I was out....

I give them the clear and simple message- I expect the house to be in the same state when I get home as when I leave in the morning. Sort of works...you can then point at stuff and say "was this how I left it?" Then they can't argue! Bless em.

The same as how I left but it will have been vacuumed!!
I leave a note telling them what needs to be done, what time I'll be home, what food I have left them ( lunch so they just have to warm if they want).
I also text an hour before I'm due home so they have warning :)

I'd be PO'd to come home from a day's work to find I had a second shift to attend to.

They're normally pretty good but sometimes they let things slide a bit. They have to take care of their own rooms as a rule, and in summer I give them each a room to take care of daily too - kitchen, dining, sitting, bathroom... They can keep it neat themselves or nag the others to pick up after themselves, whatever they prefer.

Things that I expect done all the time are plates and mugs/glasses rinsed and in the dishwasher, and not bunged in willy nilly but placed the way I want them put in. No plates or cups, etc in bedrooms. Towels hung up, hair removed from drain, no wet towels or dirty laundry on floor in rooms. Floors clear of crumbs, and all wrappers, tissues, etc., in the bin. Counters wiped down, bathroom sink wiped down, mirror free of splashes of toothpaste, etc. TP replaced on the roll if they empty one, and empty cardboard tube put in the bin. Food taken out must all be re-wrapped or re-bagged and put back in the fridge or freezer. Empty boxes or packages go to the bin and not back in the fridge or pantry. I also ask them to write things we run out of on my fridge door list. And if the bin gets full, to take it out and put in a new liner, not keep on crushing stuff down.

Yes I sometimes text to say I am on my way. Like when they are toddlers and you try to catch them being good so you can praise them for it. If you send a text to the house phone, you can get a robotic voice to announce "WARNING, MUM APPROACHING. WARNING, MUM APPROACHING"