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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

It's my birthday today! You wouldn't think so.

54 replies

Slippersmum · 04/04/2015 11:50

Now I was not after a delivery of an enormous bunch of flowers but something, anything! No cards, nothing. Not even an acknowledgement that it is my birthday. After some promoting my dd spat out yea happy birthday whatever. Not even sure what that meant My other two were exactly the same. So I sat down (in private) and burst into tears. I guess I am here just to moan and feel sorry for myself really. It was all made worst when my youngest ds (aged 5) said I don't know why they are so mean to you mummy when you are so nice to them. I cried again. I remember making a real fuss of my mum when I was a child. Where did it all go wrong? Any chance of a virtual hug? It's not just me is it?

OP posts:

Justmuddlingalong · 04/04/2015 11:57

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Slippersmum, happy birthday to you! And many moooooore! Have great day. ((((virtual hugs))))

Original poster

Slippersmum · 04/04/2015 11:58

Thanks xx I think I may abolish my birthday altogether. I feel sooooo down!

OP posts:

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 04/04/2015 12:00

Happy Birthday!

I don't think you should hide your upset. They're old enough to realise you have feelings. Go in and ask them how they would feel if you got them nothing on their birthday and wouldn't even give them a birthday hug and a fuss.

for you!

KiaOraOAotearoa · 04/04/2015 12:03

I'd leave them all to it and just take myself into town for a slice of cake and a coffee.
I know all about selfish teenagers etc, but blow me, that's lack of respect. While you're enjoying your cake, make a note in the diary to ignore their birthdays this year. Then go get some pretty earrings, a book or a candle :)
Happy birthday!

mynameisnotmichaelcaine · 04/04/2015 12:06

Absolutely. Take little ds for lunch somewhere lovely. Tell your teens how you feel.

thornrose · 04/04/2015 12:07

Happy Birthday!

My dd is 15, she finds it impossible to cope with my Birthdays. (In her defence she does have AS!)

My last Birthday card is still in the bottom of her wardrobe. I told her not to bother giving it to me as her attitude stunk.

You are not alone!

TeWiSavesTheDay · 04/04/2015 12:07

Poor you!

I haven't got teen's yet, but I would be upset too. Could you take your little one out for a treat (something you would both enjoy!) and try not to let the teens spoil your day.

Selks · 04/04/2015 12:07

I'm so sorry.
Please have some birthday

Teenagers can be so thoughtless. I'm sure they love you really, their brains are just a blob of selfish mush at that age. But don't let them totally get away with it. Do sit them down tomorrow and tell them that hey were selfish and rude for ignoring your birthday and that it was upsetting. They need to learn.
How about doing something nice today with your 5 year old? I bet he would love to bake, decorate and eat a simple birthday cake with you
I do hope you have a nice day one way or another. Happy Birthday!

Catnap26 · 04/04/2015 12:24

Happy Birthday ???? now have a glass of ?? and some ?? and buy yourself a ?? in time your children will appreciate you and spoil you on your birthday x

beautyfades · 04/04/2015 12:30

Aw Happy Birthday huni!! I know that's not you were after xx My Dd kills herself for me on bday but it's so forced, can't believe Iv said that x No they should of at least sang a little happy birthday to you or something not just for you for there younger sister.

Noteventhebestdrummer · 04/04/2015 12:34

I plan fun for my birthday and then anything else is a bonus. Take your 5 year old out for cake and to choose you a birthday balloon?

Followtheyellowsicktoad · 04/04/2015 12:43

Happy Birthday!

IceniMist · 04/04/2015 12:47

Do not let teenagers get away with it. Tell them how upset you are and show them what it means not to be thought about. Take your 5 year old out for food if you can afford it, get you both something nice for dinner and let the rest fend for themselves.

TheWoollybacksWife · 04/04/2015 12:49

Happy Birthday. All the best people have April birthdays

I agree with other posters. Do something nice with your DS - he sounds lovely.

Rivercam · 04/04/2015 12:49

i felt like you on Mother's Day, when no effort was made.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Why don't you take yourself off to the cinema and buy yourself the biggest pot of popcorn, and leave everyone else to fend for themselves.

Rivercam · 04/04/2015 12:51

I'm also I am April birthday, and plan to meet up with my sister on my birthday, 'cause I know the boys/dh will make no effort.

MrsRonBurgundy · 04/04/2015 12:56

Happy birthday!!

I wouldn't deal with a confrontation today, try and salvage your day with your little DS who sounds adorable.

But I think that it needs to be dealt with and it is disgusting the way they've treated you today. They can't surely think it's acceptable to treat their mother like that? Maybe they're feeling awful now though and are plotting something to make it up to you this PM

Original poster

Slippersmum · 04/04/2015 13:11

Oh thanks so much lovely people!! You are all right they need to understand the impact don't they I was even going to use my birthday money to re-decorate my dd bedroom which needs doing. But that's the wrong thing to do now isn't it? This has really got to me for some reason. We have lots of craft stuff and they know I love a home made card. Oh I am starting to depress myself again!!

OP posts:

Fanfeckintastic · 04/04/2015 13:15

Happy Birthday!!

I would be very upset/furious too.

Take yourself off out for a lovely lunch with DS and have a nice day, feck them!

mynameisnotmichaelcaine · 04/04/2015 14:24

No, don't do that! Spend your birthday money on something nice for you. Enjoy a nice meal tonight, make the kids cook beans on toast.

Hathall · 04/04/2015 14:30

Happy birthday!

You do need to let your kids know as this will happen every year otherwise.
Get your kids to bake a cake or bake one with them. Buy a bunch of flowers for yourself and tell them they could've done that.

Lizzylou · 04/04/2015 14:37

Happy Birthday

You do need to say something, in a few years time once the hormones have settled they will hopefully be disgusted with their younger selves, but in the meantime there is no excuse for rudeness.

Ratfinkandbobo · 04/04/2015 15:27

Happy birthday!!!!! Tell the how upset you are. Go and get and put a candle in it and make them witness you singing happy birthday to me!!!!

Roussette · 04/04/2015 15:58

Happy Birthday!

I agree with PPs saying don't let them get away with it. I have a friend with 3 DC and they never ever bothered with her birthday. She had a big '0' last year (60) lots of celebrations etc and her kids (now mid to late 20's) could barely muster a card between them and no present. How mean. But she let it happen by not pulling them up on it years ago.

Hathall · 04/04/2015 16:37

I have a friend who's children are similar even though now they're grown up.
She was so upset a few weeks ago when her ds bought a big bunch of flowers for his girlfriend's mum's birthday a few weeks ago when he's never bothered with his own mum's.

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