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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

GCSE,s looming. DD not studying at home.

73 replies

300Bananas · 01/03/2015 09:19

DD16 has exams in June but is just not doing any studying at home. She did ok in her mocks without any revision but i am still concerned. They do a lot of revision in school so I am kind of relying on this to get her through. There is no point going on at her as I cant force her to do work and I've tried having the chat about it but she only listens to what she wants to hear. She thinks she is doing enough to get into 6th form and thats good enough for her. She has no great ambitions in life other than wanting to leave home to share a flat with her pals when she gets a job.

Just one of the issues with her at the moment. Nothing too bad but when considered all together really frustrating!

Anybody else in this situation?

OP posts:
3littlefrogs · 01/03/2015 09:23

I don't think there is much else you can do TBH.
Have you spoken to her teacher to find out whether she is on track and doing enough at school?

If they need to speak to her they will. She might listen to her teachers.

Original poster
300Bananas · 01/03/2015 09:43

We had parents evening at school a while back and they have no great concerns about her. She's doing her work at school and extra revision sessions as well now and again. She thinks she knows whats best and is happy just to pass her exams. They told her she is more than capable of achieving excellent grades if she puts the work in but she's not bothered. I despair, I really do.

Ds just admitted to me that he did no revision for his GCSE's and he did very well. I nagged him to death about it and he just pretended to work to shut me up. No point nagging DD as she is a different creature all together!

OP posts:
caringdad66 · 01/03/2015 10:21

Your child seems happy and healthy,a reason to be thankful.You can lead a horse to water,but you can't make it drink.
You sound like an excellent parent,don't despair.

BackforGood · 02/03/2015 18:43

I doubt if many dc are revising yet.
I have a dd who is doing her GCSEs in the Summer too, and she's not sweating it at all. She wants to go to University, so I know she needs to do more than 'average' with her results.
As you say, they do a lot in school, and her report / Parents' Evening and Mocks all seemed fairly positive so I'll hold on to that.

When ds did his, revision kicked in at the Easter holidays although nowhere near enough, IMO.

Original poster
300Bananas · 02/03/2015 18:56

She just doesnt seem to care about it at all and I am worried. Its not just revising, she doesnt seem to be doing any schoolwork. Just wants to have fun. I give up!

OP posts:
gymboywalton · 02/03/2015 18:59

what does she want to do after gcses?

i wonder if it would help to sit down and talk about post gcse

if she wants to do a levels then she will have to get at least 6 bs[based on round here]

if she gets all cs what does she think she will do? what course? what direction will her life take?

Original poster
300Bananas · 02/03/2015 19:49

She will need 5 GCSE's grades C+ including maths and english to do what she wants at 6th form. Maths is her problem and she's doing extra lessons at school but wont accept any help from DH with this. I've tried the conversations with her but its not working. She's more arty and is predicted A's and maybe A* in drama and exp arts.

She has no direction in life. Wants a car (this is the latest thing as some of her friends have cars) and obviously will need a job to pay for it but how is she going to get a job?

I could just cry I am so frustrated with her.

OP posts:
Original poster
300Bananas · 02/03/2015 19:58

She's been going out every night as well, although she has been coming home on time, just about. I cant lock her in the house every night. She wouldnt study anyway if I did that.

Should I just step away for the sake of my own sanity and let her get on with it?

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 02/03/2015 23:23

I was where you are 3 years ago

Recalcitrant daughter who didn't do as much work as she should. My threads are on here somewhere Smile

Long story, short....she got the exact grades that she was predicted to get. All the arguments, the angst, the pushing, the extra classes, the coaching, the making her do spanish/french oral tests over and over, the shouting, yes, the tears.... all for nothing

My only advice to you is don't take the risk of ruining your relationship with her because whatever you do now is immaterial. If she wants to do it, she will. If she doesn't, she will not. The End.

Good luck.

NB. she managed to scrape 5 C's. Went to college and matured massively all of a sudden. She is now working and driving her own car Wink

AnyFucker · 02/03/2015 23:24

ps. pm me if it helps. I don't like to put too much identifiable info on here.

Original poster
300Bananas · 03/03/2015 07:05

Thank you AF. Might just do that. Just been up all night fretting after a "talk" last night which did not go too well.

OP posts:
CoffeeBeanie · 03/03/2015 07:17

OP, I could have written your post. Same here, DD16 doesn't seem to be doing any work for school.
She is predicted excellent grades, but in the mocks she got lower marks in 4 subjects (not her favourites). The ONLY Sixth Form she applied to wants A's in the subjects she wants to do for A Level (Sciences and Maths).

She is so laid back, it is frustrating. I think the more I push, the more she will turn into a rebellious teen, and she hasn't been one up to now.
School doesn't offer revision sessions in the subjects the would need them for.
It's just very hard to watch her spending her time on youtube and her phone.
She doesn't go out though, meets friends occasionally but mainly spends all her time in her room.

AF wise words my way too please, before I tear my hair out.

AnyFucker · 03/03/2015 10:41

pm'ed you, 300

AnyFucker · 03/03/2015 10:42

pm me coffee, if you want my rather wearied take on it Smile

LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 03/03/2015 10:45

Ds sits his in May/June too. They do revision at school but there's barely any time for him to do any at home as he's still doing loads of homework. Does your DD have study leave? This may help.

I dragged him into Waterstones on Friday and have bought him some study guides. Not sure if they will help but it's worth a try.

Good luck!

Lancelottie · 03/03/2015 10:47

DS discovered revision somewhere between Exam 1 and Exam 23 last year.

His module marks for different chunks of the same GCSE are... interesting.

LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 03/03/2015 10:52

Ds is sittilg iGCSE's, so there's no coursework. He needs 5 A's to be able to continue into the 6th form. His mocks didn't go well (he was sick) and they have predicted 1A*, 6 B's and 2 C's. His laid back approach is changing slightly but I'm still stressed.

LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 03/03/2015 10:52

Sitting, sorry!

poppymoon · 03/03/2015 19:12

it seems i'm not alone with a teen soon to be sitting gcse's who really doesn't seem to give a rats ass about studying or putting in an ounce of effort. he has a conditional place at college (5 c's or above) and his targets are all a's and b's. he's currently bumbling along at c's and d's and has decided he's not really sure he wants to do the a levels he's chosen anyway.

at parents evening last week i was told that usually, students who are really laid back do often kick into study mode but its usually before now.

sigh.

Original poster
300Bananas · 03/03/2015 19:18

Yes join the club. I daresay there are many many more parents going through the same. I'm through with nagging and its up to DD now.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 03/03/2015 20:16

pm'ed you coffee x

LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 03/03/2015 20:29

Do you have a magic wand, AF? Wine

AnyFucker · 03/03/2015 20:39

I wish !

LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 03/03/2015 20:40

Grin Oh, one would be nice!

AnyFucker · 03/03/2015 20:45

I would be a very rich woman if that were the case...

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