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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

GCSE,s looming. DD not studying at home.

73 replies

300Bananas · 01/03/2015 09:19

DD16 has exams in June but is just not doing any studying at home. She did ok in her mocks without any revision but i am still concerned. They do a lot of revision in school so I am kind of relying on this to get her through. There is no point going on at her as I cant force her to do work and I've tried having the chat about it but she only listens to what she wants to hear. She thinks she is doing enough to get into 6th form and thats good enough for her. She has no great ambitions in life other than wanting to leave home to share a flat with her pals when she gets a job.

Just one of the issues with her at the moment. Nothing too bad but when considered all together really frustrating!

Anybody else in this situation?

OP posts:
LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 03/03/2015 20:50
Wine
SnottyCowbag · 03/03/2015 21:31

My DCs are all older now and I took the line that I wasn't going to nag them about school work. I'd facilitate their studying (food, desks, etc) and I might ask them about their work but I left it up to them. It must depend on the kids personalities but I cant imagine any of my kids would have been influenced to study more if I had nagged them. They are well behaved but we always saw their school work as their business.

LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 03/03/2015 22:00

Is there a way to 'encourage' without nagging though, to build up their enthusiasm? I usually leave him to it but it's sooo close to his GCSE's and I'm really worried that he won't be allowed into the 6th Form if he doesn't get the grades.

Original poster
300Bananas · 04/03/2015 17:31

Is bribery an option?

OP posts:
Travelledtheworld · 04/03/2015 18:28

I am in exactly the same situation. DD not doing a stroke of work. She sill pass everything but will not put any extra effort in to get higher grades and ensure her place in the 6 th form of Her choice .

Had this conversation 10 mins ago:

Me: babysitting has just been cancelled. Kids are ill. How about using the time to do your revision timetable ( handed out by school in November)

DD: (not looking up from laptop). Yeah, sure.
Me: That's great (big smile)
DD: Monday - Lame; Tuesday-Lame; Wednesday- Pointless.......

Had to leave the room I was laughing.

LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 04/03/2015 19:17

Nope, not here.

Ds has a history essay to do, so he's playing a game on his laptop Hmm

Original poster
300Bananas · 05/03/2015 09:08

I keep saying "well its up to her, I cant force her to study" but still I keep going on about it. So now I really do have to let it go for the sake of my own sanity!

OP posts:
poppymoon · 06/03/2015 11:01

are we all braced for a flurry of eager revision and questions this weekend?

nope. nor me.

Clara66 · 06/03/2015 16:56

Don't panic, there is hope. This time last year I was in the same position. My dd literally missed half of y11 through illness, did very little revision, but still got a mix of As and Bs. She's bright but not exceptional, and definitely not keen to study. I came to the conclusion that most of what the kids need to learn is already done by early in y11 and that any extra study done after then is a bonus!

Good luck to you all. Can't wait for the stress of DS's gcses in another couple of years.... Ho hum.

Original poster
300Bananas · 06/03/2015 18:58

Cant wait till they are over. DD is so rubbish at time keeping though that I am prob gonna have to take time off from work to make sure she gets to the exams on time! After that she's on her own.

OP posts:
dalekanium · 06/03/2015 19:25

Not sure how it works for teens (because I was an insufferable smartass who did no revision and got straight A s at GCSE) but I do find that now, as a mature student if I start revision too soon I either burnout or get 'overrevision'

I seem to get the optimim learning in by starting 2-4 weeks before and absolutley no longer than 4 weeks. Learned that one the hard way.

So ther is still hope, I think it is fairly early to be knuckling down.

poppymoon · 07/03/2015 10:55

I've just received a letter from school asking for a £66 resit fee for ds' s unit 1 ICT course. He's apparently sat it and failed it three times. It account for 25% of the course.

I wasn't expecting this at all.

Original poster
300Bananas · 07/03/2015 14:41

Oh dear poppymoon. Just what you dont want to hear right now. Maybe it might spur him into action. We can only do so much. Its such a nightmare. The way things are going here my dd is going to be grounded until she's 18. Never mind getting her to study, trying to get her to come in on time is turning into a daily source of conflict.

This is just horrible and I never imagined that life would turn out this way :(

OP posts:
AGirlCalledBoB · 07/03/2015 14:50

I think it does depend on the student. I was always really good at revising and getting school work done and my brother is currently in the same year as your dd and he does a lot of revision. He is predicted all A/A* but my sister had no interest at all. I don't think I ever saw her pick up her books, but she passed her 5 and is now 20 and doing well. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.

Let her get on with it, she is old enough to know the consequences if she does not study. as long as she gets the min 5 A*-C she should be fine but may find it tough with a-levels.

LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 07/03/2015 15:03

I received a letter from the school this morning. Apparently they need a certain amount of points to get into the 6th Form and he reached these in his mocks with 5 to spare so they are 'concerned' . He did naff all revision and he was unwell for 5 days with a high fever, vomiting, headache etc so I think he did rather well considering. I'm trying to boost his immune system with fruit/veg cocktails.

I'm so sorry about your bill, poppy Sad

I hope you're OK, Bananas Thanks Wine

Travelledtheworld · 07/03/2015 16:46

MY DD's school has just called in all the girls who are two grades below their predicted grade in three or more subjects. They will all be given an official kick up the backside and/ or extra studies and revision.It is a very high performing selective school.

Fortunately no letter for me....yet......

poppymoon · 07/03/2015 18:20

Ds is currently doing 3 after school sessions per week already for some of his subjects and his mentor has now devised a revision timetable for him. I have asked her to email me a copy each week. She is very frustrated too.
When told about the resit letter and fee, ds says that 7 students in his class have failed and he doesn't care any more as the teacher is and has offered no help or tips on how to redo this module properly. I asked how much research about it he has done himself.......
Sadly, I really don't think that having to pay a resit fee will give him the push he needs to pass ICT. So, now to sort out changing his A level choices as ICT was one of those. Even if he did miraculously pass it now, I feel it has shown his lack of interest in the subject so he'd have no chance with A level.

Will someone wake me up in July please.

LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 07/03/2015 19:08

Have you looked at the BBC bitesize web site? It may be worth going through the whole course with him to see where his gaps are. www.bbc.co.uk/education/subjects/zqmtsbk It's just the basics so he will be expected to do some work on top but at least he'll be able to go through the work he's already covered to see where his knowledge gaps are, and he'll know what topics he should have already covered. I'll be doing this with ds and looking at the CPG/York Notes too. Could you find out what exam group the test is under? BBC bitesize is useful but if there's more than one examination group covering the subject then you (and he) can taylor the revision a little bit more, IYKWIM.

LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 07/03/2015 19:14

7 is quite a lot by the way. It kind of indicates that there's an issue with the way that the subject is being taught rather than the kids. It may help if the topics that he's struggling with are taught to him in a different way, one in which he understands. Is there a head of department that you can go to?

poppymoon · 08/03/2015 21:05

Working through 2 maths papers that should have been handed in last week and this is painful. He just does not get algebra, or rather simplification, and just disengages totally. I'm not sure what to do.

LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 08/03/2015 21:08

Does he have a tutor at school?

poppymoon · 08/03/2015 22:27

He has a form tutor. He also has a mentor who happens to be his chemistry teacher and deputy head.

LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 08/03/2015 23:30

Can you speak to his mentor? The BBC bite size has every subject so it's worth getting him to look through that too. At least he's telling you that there's a problem rather then burying his head in the sand and ignoring it, which makes him fab in my book. I bet there's some algebra experts on here too who can rephrase it in a way in which he'll understand so you could start a thread.

poppymoon · 09/03/2015 08:37

i've emailed his mentor this morning so i'll see what she says. i've sorted some bits from the bite size to go through with him (thank you) but he really does disengage so i'm trying to think of a way to get him to sit with me and begin to look at it.

i'm hoping that i can find a way explain it in a simply so today i'm doing a bit of homestudy myself.

i'll see what she (the mentor) says about his refusal to resit ICT unit 1 for the 4th time. i've asked if maybe there is an underlying problem with the unit as several pupils from the same class have repeatedly failed it (hope i was tactful enough).

Greenrememberedhills · 09/03/2015 09:57

One of mine did not do so well at GCSE, as a result of not working.There was nothing I said or did which helped.

However, after a lot of tears following exam day, and a year doing resits, she got onto an A level course and is doing fine, and likely to get at least Cs in the coming A level exams. She has matured a lot too.

They just have to learn for themselves, frustrating though that can be for us poor parents.

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