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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

DS has made a GP appointment

15 replies

justcallmethefixer · 13/02/2015 20:44

I get a text message confirmation of an appointment at my GP surgery today that I didnt make. Call the surgery ably it, find out it is for my DS (15).
I call him as I'm at work, he says it is something he needs to sort. I let it go, and try to talk to him this evening but get no answers about the gp appointment.
I am driving myself crazy being cool mum who trusts DS

Hand hold please

OP posts:

AlfAlf · 13/02/2015 20:47

Whatever it is, he's incredibly mature and sensible to take himself to the GP.

HugeFurryKnittingBalls · 13/02/2015 20:50

Ooo err, tricky that you got a text about it, I'm guessing your number is down as 'his' on his registration details!

Sorry that you're worried but be thankful that whatever it is he's doing the sensible thing.

I might raise this at work on Monday (GP surgery) because there could be serious confidentiality issues regarding the text.

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 13/02/2015 20:51

Trust him, and be proud of him for taking that responsibility. Don't pressure him to tell you, but make sure he knows you're there for him.

lemisscared · 13/02/2015 20:52

i am sure if its something you need to know about the dr will contact you as he is a minor (not sure!). he sounds a very sensible lad. try not to worry

Kleptronic · 13/02/2015 20:54

I've a nearly 11 year old and I don't let him cross roads by himself yet, so I sort of understand where you're at with this. On the other hand, I was a youth worker for 10 years, including running drop-in sexual health sessions for teenagers, and I've got to say, I admire your lad for looking after himself properly, as I did the young people who came into our 'pop shop'. (I'm not implying that's what it's about though!)

It's great he's taking responsibility for himself, bodes well for the future too. I do get that you can't help but worry! I would too. Well done for giving him space on this, it must be really hard. I bet he tells you in the end.

penny13610 · 13/02/2015 20:55

Subtly remind him to update his contact details. I've had the same issues with my 5

JudgeJudyKicksAss · 13/02/2015 20:55

Why don't you make a deal with him that you won't ask him what its all about before he goes to his appointment if he tells you what it is about after he has been? He may agree - it may be something he wants to share with you and wants a doctors reassurance first, or he may just feel mature enough to deal with on his own.

You have my sympathy, I don't know how I'd cope worrying about worst case scenarios, and it may only be about ingrowing chest hair or something like that.

FishWithABicycle · 13/02/2015 21:00

Wow what a mature sensible lad.
Tell him how proud you are of him that he was grown up enough to make an appointment for something he's worried about.
Reassure him that he doesn't have to tell you if he doesn't want to.
Remind him that you will always be there for him no matter what.

Try not to worry.

The most likely thing is that he's worried about something that he'd rather die than tell you about, possibly relating to sexual matters. In which case, the Dr may not tell you all the details as 15, while still a minor, is old enough to have reasonable expectations of privacy.

The second most likely thing is that he's been using Dr google and is self-diagnosing acne as incipient bubonic plague. In which case the Dr will be lovely and reassuring.

You may never know which.

Original poster

justcallmethefixer · 13/02/2015 21:08

I have told him he can ask the surgery to change the contact detail for the text message.
I'm proud and concerned in equal measure, he is well to my eye but we have had school/behaviour issues recently, I trust him as a young person but I'm his mum and want to know what is going on!

OP posts:

Hassled · 13/02/2015 21:12

This would drive in insane. One the one hand - yes, he's nearly an adult, you have to respect his privacy and admire his initiative. On the other hand - he's your little boy, of course you want to know what's up. I really feel for you.

3catsandcounting · 14/02/2015 00:18

Tricky one! He's 15 - it's actually 3 years away from being an adult, which is a long time in teen years, he needs to be 16 until he doesn't need you to be there legally. But... he's still a child.
My DS15 wouldn't even know where the docs surgery was. Never mind their phone number. Or actually finding enough syllables to make an appointment! Good for him for being so mature! But I totally see why you're worried!

tabulahrasa · 14/02/2015 00:33

15 is when my DS started making his own Drs appointments and not necessarily telling me, and my friend's DS is now 15 and has started doing the same thing, maybe it's a thing? 15 and Drs I mean.

Anyway, mostly it was for the randomest thing that I'd never have bothered a Dr about if he'd run it past me...that's probably why he started bypassing me, lol.

So it doesn't automatically mean it's something big.

eyebags63 · 14/02/2015 18:46

I can understand why you are worried but you must be please/proud that he is taking care of his own health too.

I would contact the GP surgery and get his records updated so the txt messages go to his phone from now on.

I'm sure he will tell you what it is about when he is ready.

eyebags63 · 14/02/2015 18:48

Just to add although he is entitled to privacy, if the issue is serious the GP would strongly encourage and try to persuade DS to involve you or another adult anyway.

hellsbells99 · 14/02/2015 23:37

I got a shock just after my DD's 16th birthday when they refused to give me her blood test results! that I had taken her to the hospital for They then spoke to her on the phone and all I heard was 'yes, no, yes, ok' then 'goodbye'. She hadn't got a clue what to ask etc. We then had to phone back so DD could give the nurse permission to speak to me. I was then able to ask what the readings were and when I could collect her presriptions and which chemist - we live quite rurally and at 16 of course it wouldn't be DD driving to pick them up.

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