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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Mixed Sleepover

16 replies

daZedandconfused99 · 25/01/2015 19:30

My 15 y/o daughter has been asked to a mixed sleepover with no parent present and mixed sexes, other than the occasional argument she never causes too much trouble and hasn't had any relationships with boys other than friends. Don't know the whole group of friends (there will be 4 girls and 3 or 4 boys) but as far as I can tell they're good kids, feels wrong saying yes but she hasn't ever given me a reason to expect anything wrong to happen. What should I do?

OP posts:
BakingMad91 · 25/01/2015 19:57

I think you should let her go. The thing I would be most worried about is drinking but that could happen even if it was all girls going.

Reekypear · 25/01/2015 20:05

I can think of plenty of reasons:

Sex will more than likely happen, drinking will defiantly happen, it could turn into a Facebook party.

If people don't think kids get up it stuff they are in la la land.

Remember: your only ever one mixed sleepover away from being grandparents. Lol.

Sparklingbrook · 25/01/2015 20:18

Let her go.

isitsnowingyet · 25/01/2015 20:34

Nope - definitely not

Sparklingbrook · 25/01/2015 20:37

All teenagers are sex mad. Fact! Grin

But back in the real world.....

Original poster
daZedandconfused99 · 25/01/2015 20:46

Shes never seemed inclined to any type of sexual activity-would the situation really cause that Confused

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 25/01/2015 20:53

Yes, yes it would daZed they will all turn into sex maniacs for sure. Shock

Or they may just have a really nice time. Smile But I will probably be told that is naive on MN, and that I don't know my child at all. then there will be all sorts of tales of awfulness at mixed sleepovers.

WineWineWine · 25/01/2015 20:54

My son recently went to a mixed sleepover.
I didn't have a problem with it, but I know him and know he is likely to behave. He's 15. Yes he is interested in girls but I didn't believe for a second that anything would get out of hand. That's just no his style - or his friends. They are nice kids.
I went to several mixed sleepovers at the same age. No we weren't angels, but it was no sex party either!

TaintedAngel · 25/01/2015 21:02

I grew up with mixed sleepovers. I regularly had sleepovers with 3 male friends as a young teen, usually at my house, sometimes at another female friends house and once at one male friends house. (His mum happened to be a teacher at my school). Point is, we were all close and nothing ever happened with any of the boys/girls there. We were all best friends. Drinking happened but that's just because it was a sleepover - nothing to do with the mixed genders.
Also tbph if she is going to become sexually active then stopping her going to this sleepover won't stop her from having sex. I think it's more important to teach your DD the importance of consent, safe sex and that she has parents who will be there for her no matter what and who she can talk to.

Bowlersarm · 25/01/2015 21:06

I'd be ok with it.

bloodyteenagers · 25/01/2015 21:21

people can be friends without fucking each other. sex will not
More than likely happen. Gender doesnt come into it because let's face reality, the ops dd could quiet easily invite her best female group of mates for a sleep over and they fuck each other.

Anyway yes I would and I do. They started when they were 13. They are now 17, 19 and 21. Still not a grandparent. Had one recently here. They crashed in my front room. Shock horror they also talked to me, and made me breakfast and lunch the next day. It's about trust and knowing you have raised your child to respect themselves, to say no, to be safe and to look after themselves.

Viviennemary · 25/01/2015 21:27

Not this again. No, no and no again.

Sparklingbrook · 25/01/2015 21:28
Grin
Original poster
daZedandconfused99 · 25/01/2015 21:57

thanks all, will take everything you have said to work out a fair (even if she may not see it that way)method to handle the situation

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 25/01/2015 21:58

Maybe have a chat with some of the other parents. You know your DD.

PeaStalks · 26/01/2015 14:07

Lots of threads on mixed sleepovers. My two pennorth is that I let them go happily from 13 /14 and they had some lovely times.

The alarm bell here for me is not the sleepover, it's the fact that no adult is there. So this is essentially an all night party with no responsible adult. I would say NO. I wouldn't let my 16 year old go to an unsupervised party. There will be drink, and drugs make no mistake and someone will get out of hand even if it's not your DD.
DS recently went to a party of a friend who goes to a private school. I was very naive in thinking they would all be naice children. They were all off their heads on dope Hmm, and there was a parent present!

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