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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Leaving Teens at Home....

24 replies

PadstowMum · 03/12/2014 23:54

Hi All =)

Im new on here but could do with some advice from other Teen parents as DS is my only child and I've never done this before.

My DH is trying to convince me to go out with him on Saturday night. He's DJing at a party about 30 miles away from where we live. He would like my support plus he thinks I need a night out as I haven't been out in years and don't remember the last drink I had.... (I'm 32)

The party will be between 6pm and midnight.

The thing is I'm not sure if its ok to leave my DS at home alone while I go out.

He's 14 but very mature plus a mum's boy so mostly at home and no risk of doing anything silly. He would spend the evening gaming or watching you tube vids.

I leave him at home alone while I go shopping or something but its never for long but hes always fine as he's a sensible boy.

My problem is I feel strange leaving him to do something selfish like a night out?!

I'm not sure whether to disappoint DH and just say no because DS doesn't want to stay with family and just wants to be at home so this would be only option.

Thoughts please =)

OP posts:

apotatoprintinapeartree · 04/12/2014 00:02

I don't see anything wrong with that and if you saw the other thread, I was saying not under 12.
At 14 he is mature enough and he sounds very sensible.
Its Saturday he'll play his games and take himself off to bed I imagine.

Heyho111 · 04/12/2014 05:07

It's fine to leave him. They start babysitting other peoples children at that age. Go have a nice night.

bigTillyMint · 04/12/2014 07:14

He will be fine at home on his own - infact he'll probably enjoy it! He is 14 so he must be in Y9/10? Plenty old enough to be left. DD has been babysitting since she was 13.5!

We have been leaving ours home alone since DD was 12 and DS 11 (admittedly just round the corner at first) They love it and DS(13.5) is more than happy to be home alone if DD is out too.

NoelleHawthorne · 04/12/2014 07:16

i have teenagers and each one is different. My 16 yo was fine from about 13 tbh. my 14 yo is ok being by himself but not going to sleep alone

So it is nigh on impossible to judge your kid's aptitude

bigTillyMint · 04/12/2014 07:19

But if they are back about 12, and he can't get to sleep, he can just have a late night surely?!

OP, what does your DS think about the idea?

Medge68 · 04/12/2014 07:21

I'd ask him how he feels about it and if he's ok about it then I'd go! You'll be coming home the same night I assume? My kids would all have been ok at that age but it never happened because we have a younger one iyswim!

lovetoski · 04/12/2014 07:28

I would leave him, my ds is also 14 an only and plan to leave him home in the evening when we go out for a works Christmas meal. If he's sensible and you trust him then give him the chance to prove it. My ds loves being at home by himself if we go out as no nagging to turn pc off, eats his body weight in snacks and thinks he's all cool and grown up. We did the same last year at 13 and no problems. Would he stay up or put himself to bed?

Dragonlette · 04/12/2014 07:50

Well, I'm happy to leave my 14yo dd1 babysitting 4yo dd2. I have been happy to leave her on her own for a couple of years now.

I'd definitely leave him, as ling as you aren't going to be out til the following morning.

Lottie4 · 04/12/2014 09:24

I'd also ask him how he feels about it. If he has any doubts, maybe a compromise would be not to go out this occasion, but to go out with your husband somewhere local for a drink or meal - that way if your son has any worries while you're out, you can be back in 10 mins.

Travelledtheworld · 04/12/2014 19:13

I occasionally leave my DS 14 at home on his own and he is quite happy playing on line games with his schoolfriends and eating his way round the kitchen.

You could always agree to call or message him at a specified time just to check in and make sure he is happy. Also agree the time you will be home and stick to it.

ChillySundays · 04/12/2014 19:18

Another one here for checking how your son feels. Left mine at 14 and 11 for the first time. Only went into town for a meal to start with.

DontGotoRoehamptonUniversity · 09/12/2014 20:30

Agree see how he feels. Definitely and individual thing. Our 16 year old DS1 would have been happy and confident home alone from about the age of four , DS2 (14) prefers us to be there.

.

iwantginsoakedXmas · 10/12/2014 13:25

Definitely go out. He'll be fine.
Take your phone and make sure he has the number stored just for peace of mind.

I've been leaving my DS homr alone since he was 11/12 when me and DH have gone out to the pub or for dinner. His first overnight was last summer when he was 15.

He loved having the run of the house.

operaha · 10/12/2014 20:50

Yes he will be fine by the sounds of it! He sounds like my ds who is 14 and I would definitely trust him in fact one night we had to stay at afriends due to unforseen taxi problems and he stayed home overnight with his sister who is 17

starlover8 · 25/07/2015 12:31

I wouldnt. I have left my 16yr old in the house in the day time for a couple of hours whilst shopping, but not at night. The times comes around so quickly until they are adults, i figured it is best not to take any risks :)

TantrumsAndBalloons · 25/07/2015 12:38

You wouldn't leave your 16 year old at night?

bruffin · 25/07/2015 12:52

The times comes around so quickly until they are adults
So lets baby them and are shocked when they cant cope with the world when they are adults.

OP you know your ds.

JustDanceAddict · 25/07/2015 14:15

If he is happy to be left on his own, then I would do it. Is there anyone locally he can contact if there's a problem?

titchy · 25/07/2015 16:36

I assume your ds has SN though starlover if he can't be left for more than a couple of hours in the day. so that's not really relevant here is it?

OP of course this is OK - as pp have said kids babysit from this age. If they're responsible enough to look after other people's kids surely they're responsible enough to look after themselves!

starlover8 · 25/07/2015 20:07

What is Ds and SN? Thanks

bruffin · 25/07/2015 20:10

Ds - son dd - daughter
sn - special needs

starlover8 · 25/07/2015 22:11

Thank you bruffin. :)

Sassystar · 26/07/2015 22:27

When I go out I ask my teen if they want a friend to come over and stop. order them pizza and watch films then u won't reel so bad either

chrome100 · 30/07/2015 10:47

I am surprised at this thread. I see no problem at all leaving a 14 year old in these conditions. He'll be an adult in 4 years!

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