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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

How do you get your teen out of bed in the mornings?

81 replies

18yearstooold · 16/10/2014 08:19

My daughter is terrible at getting out of bed

I need to go in at least 5/6 times

If I leave it up to her she just won't get up so 'let her be late' is not going to help here -she doesn't care

Options?

OP posts:
MsHerodotus · 16/10/2014 18:24

First call is open door, wen I get up at 6.10 am.
Second call is 6.20 am, hall light on, and tell 'em breakfast is on table ( I always do cooked breakfast as I am teacher so never have time for lunch and prefer them to have protein too rather than carbs...)
Third call, if necessary, 6.30 (when I go up to brush teeth and make-up, is bedroom lights on and cover pulled off.

At that point, I go to work, If they miss the bus tough.
Not missed it yet...

springlamb · 16/10/2014 18:27

Record yourself in a very loud voice shouting 'Get the fuck up' and set this as your alarm tone on your phone.
Just set the alarm for two minutes hence, open bedroom door, put big light on and put phone on floor behind door.
By the time she has staggered over to your phone and worked out how to stop that awful noise (was Mum really swearing?!?), she'll be wide awake. Then retrieve your phone.
Alternatively, let the school take the strain. Ring them and tell me she won't get out of bed and you can't lay hands on her, so please feel free to discipline her exactly according to school policy. Do not write notes, do not give lifts, do not collect if she gets sent home.

I've taken this policy with dd's latest rebellion over tailored school trousers. She wants to wear black skinny jeans and 'pretend'. I feel the school know her well enough to deal appropriately with this and they certainly know me well enough to know I don't condone this. I'm going to let her trip herself up rather than have every morning a battle ground, spent too long doing that as it is.

She doesn't get why when she comes to the kitchen for her scrambled eggs every morning I am singing some old song under my breath and smiling away. It's 'she's a rebel and she never ever does what she should...'. She doesn't get it but she will when the Deputy notices them trousers!

Vitalstatistix · 16/10/2014 18:29

You say she doesn't care, but then say that she has never actually been late and the one time it looked like she would be, she was in a right state. So perhaps she actually does need to be late in order to change.

I get mine out of bed at 6. If they won't come when called, I go in there with an alarm clock and I sound it at them until they get out of bed.

Sometimes I sing the sun has got his hat on.

This is for my own entertainment more than anything. You should see the reaction of teenage lads to their mum in the bedroom at six oclock in the morning, happily singing hip hip hip hooray Grin

ZuluBob · 16/10/2014 18:33

I left mine to it from about 12'ish although I can't quite remember. They could all walk to school so I didn't need to be involved. I didn't make their breakfasts or packed lunches either. I'd rather save my 'parenting' for important issues rather than this type of pointless conflict. I had no intention of blighting my relationship with my DC by constant nagging.

I have/had rules about other things but felt it was up to my kids to be responsible for their own actions for things like getting up and school work.

jellycake · 16/10/2014 18:38

I read somewhere, think it was the book 'Blame My Brain' that teenagers need to have light filter in to start to wake them up so I go in and turn the light on about 10 - 15mins before he needs to get up. Then usually I only need to call him once or twice. Tried an alarm - was useless.

Ericaequites · 16/10/2014 18:54

I know a woman with three sons in high school who woke the boys by playing John Philip Souza marches over the house intercom. It does work well.
More prosaically, make sure your teens turn off screens an hour before bed and go to sleep at a reasonable hour. No televisions in the bedroom is another good idea.

GreenMouse · 16/10/2014 18:58

I think from the age of about 12-13 is about right, so when they start secondary school.

MsHerodotus · 16/10/2014 19:10

Sometimes I sing the sun has got his hat on.
Grin

springlamb · 16/10/2014 19:11

I grew up in a townhouse with lots of floors. My dad fitted these creepy little buzzing Batphones in all the bedrooms.
With one flick of the switch from the kitchen, The Parents could make the Batphones buzz constantly until picked up in all 3 children bedrooms. And they did, every morning at 7am. The Batphones were fitted to the wall next to each bedroom door. I hated the Batphones.
The neighbours took a different solution - they had doorbells going from the kitchen to each of their 3 child bedrooms, so they were awoken by Big Ben rings every morning.

Another solution: DS has not been late up since we moved a bearded dragon into his bedroom and told him it would die unless he switched its vivarium lights on at 7.30 every morning. He has never risked it - even at weekends he drags himself out to put the lights on, then rolls back into bed.

chocoluvva · 16/10/2014 19:13

I sympathise - my DD had her sixth-form privileges withdrawn as a result of repeated lateness. No matter what time her classes started she'd be late. I think she thought it was cool. She was furious at having her privileges withdrawn. She was better for a short while but soon relapsed. It was awful.

Now she's at uni she gets up at 7.25am apparently and would hate to be late for classes.

I agree though that if she is horrified of the idea of being late she should stop relying on you and in the process putting you through this stress. Your DD is in a routine of getting up after several calls now isn't she. Don't make a big deal of it anymore, as others have advised, I'd just tell her that the current system isn't working so she must find a different method of getting herself out of bed and take things from there.

MsHerodotus · 16/10/2014 19:24

springlamb - your DS sounds lovely!

Travelledtheworld · 16/10/2014 19:29

DD 16 is up at 6.45 for a complicated hair styling
routine.

Ds 14 would sleep round the clock so at 7 am I go into his room with a cheery, "wake up DS, time to get uuuuuuup!".
Open curtains, put lights on and bang around.

Then I go downstairs and toast a bagel or make a bowl of cereal and waft it under his nose and that usually stimulates some sort of response deep down in his brain and with a lot of grunting and groaning he starts to get up.

TurnOverTheTv · 16/10/2014 19:45

I must be very very lucky! My 14yo and 10yo both get themselves up, get their own breakfast, get washed etc. they have alarms set at different times (older one has shower and ridiculous hair routine) I stay in bed with toddler then get up when I need to take them to school!
It sounds very stressful for you HmmHmm

temporaryusername · 16/10/2014 19:50

I don't think my DM woke us up once we were in our teens, we had to leave fairly early as it was a long journey so we set our own alarms. I totally sympathise with hating to get out of bed on a cold morning, but I really don't think this should be your problem. It does sound like if she is late she would care, so I would let her take control, even if she is late at first. Warn her obviously though, so she knows to set an alarm, and maybe agree that you'll give her a call 5 mins after the alarm just for the first couple of days while she gets used to it. Then remind her it is up to her.

Travelled love that, I knew a girl at school who got up for a 2 hour make up routine in 6th form. She did have incredible skills with eyeliner!

LadySybilLikesCake · 16/10/2014 19:58

I can't remember my mum waking me either. They were still in bed by the time I left for school, so didn't see that I had no breakfast. I wake ds, I get his clothes and I make his breakfast just so that I know he's eaten.

springlamb · 16/10/2014 20:47

He is lovely. I should say he's 19 now, at uni and still doing the lights every morning.

JustAShopGirl · 16/10/2014 20:52

We have a super loud alarm clock ( and a detached house )- we put it outside the bedroom door and set it going if she doesn't show signs of movement 10 min after wake up. Not failed yet.

DramaAlpaca · 16/10/2014 23:11

I've had this problem with DS3 (17) since he went back to school in September. He won't get out of bed despite being called numerous times, I end up roaring at him, and the result is he's late for school (and gets a detention at break) & I am stressed and cross. I don't know why he does it because he hates being late. He just says his bed is too comfy Confused

A couple of weeks ago I finally had enough & left without him. Needless to say he didn't get up at all & didn't make it to school. He got into trouble at school the next day because I refused to give him an absence note. The punishment at home was being banned from using the computer for two days. That hurt as his favourite thing is gaming. He has been told that if he does it again the ban will be for a week.

So far, so good. He's getting out of bed at a sensible time at the moment and neither of us are starting the day stressed & grumpy. I wish I'd put my foot down sooner.

Iamyourmil · 17/10/2014 00:15

My dad used to do this:
Spray cold water in my face.
Shake the bed and scream: earthquake!
Take my bedding away (yes, even in winter)

I still love him Grin

sydlexic · 17/10/2014 00:39

My DS, age 13, gets up at 6, I get up at 7 and drive him to the bus stop. If I oversleep he will wake me.

TheWholeOfTheSpook · 17/10/2014 00:57

I wake them up with a cup of tea and then leave them to it. If they don't get up in time, they miss the bus and have to get themselves to school. I don't engage with any crap in the mornings at all. They know that there will be after school penalties if they do it more than once a month, including cutting off their phones or, in DC1's case, taking the keys to his car.

I cook or set up breakfast that they can all help themselves to, although with DCs 1 and 2, they're normally grabbing and going, as they head out the door, complaining it's going to taste bad as they've just brushed their teeth!

TheWholeOfTheSpook · 17/10/2014 01:08

That actually makes me sound scarily strict, but the punishments very rarely happen because they get up and go to school!

TheAmyrlin · 17/10/2014 07:17

Give them time to wake up. Lights & radio on at approx 6:45 for both kids (DS 16 & DD 12). Cup of tea for DS and two mad cats racing round their bedrooms wakes them up no problem.

We had a phase of being extra sulky/grumpy in the mornings, but we find its better for all of us to wake earlier. Gives us time to 'come round' without lots of shouting.

Original poster
18yearstooold · 17/10/2014 08:50

Well last night we had a chat, she agreed mornings were no fun and asked me to wake her up at 6.30 when I got up

Which I did and she promptly rolled over and went back to sleep

I knocked again at 7.30 when I got her little sister up and she groaned at me

8.20 she comes downstairs still in her pyjamas asking why I didn't wake her up

So today she has gone to school late and honking because she had no time to shower

She was actually out the door at 8.30 so will only be about 5 minutes late (school starts at 8.40 and is very local)

Wonder what the response tonight will be?

OP posts:
ZuluBob · 17/10/2014 08:57

That sounds good - going to school without showering would be like torture for my DDs. I'd refuse to engage in any more discussion about it with her. She can tell you when she would like wake up call and that's it. It's no longer your problem.