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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

dd 15 thinks she's pregnant feel sick!!

88 replies

EverythingHappens4aReason · 07/10/2014 16:47

My dd has just told me she has taken a test and its +ve but her period is only due today how reliable are these so early? She is as stunned as I am. GP booked for Thurs but apart from that I'm lost :-(

OP posts:

Babiecakes11 · 08/10/2014 11:04

This reply has been deleted

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Boysandme · 08/10/2014 11:09

Good luck OP. It is a very tricky situation to be in, I feel for you both.

DSD phoned me when she was 15 to announce she was 18wks pg and ask me to tell her dad. She had only found out a week or so earlier, was planning to terminate but had decided to keep the baby. We were rather shocked, we knew she had a longish term boyfriend but were shocked she'd not been careful.

Anyway, upshot is that she went on the have the baby, DGS is now 9.5yrs. She went back to school, did her A levels, went away to uni (all with DGS In tow). She had a couple of years unemployed after uni then got. A good job through which she is now doing a sponsored masters degree.

It can work out ok.

Hugs to you both.

SweetsForMySweet · 08/10/2014 11:30

If you retest and it's still positive, the family planning clinic give information on support services and options. It is a shock for you and you are disappointed especially because you had already spoken about safe sex but getting angry at her won't make it any better so try to stay calm so you don't say anything you'll regret later. She has a boyfriend so hopefully his family can help and offer support too.

YouAreMyRain · 08/10/2014 11:47

I agree with Doris. Why was she testing on the day her period was due? Maybe she wants this pregnancy? My parents divorced when I was a teenager and it was a very unsettled period of my life, it affected my relationships hugely.

Maybe she wants some security and thinks a baby will give her that. Whatever happens, you do sound like you have a great relationship with her.
My cousin got pregnant at 15, kept the baby, got pregnant again at 17 by the same boyfriend, kept the baby. They ended up with three children and are still together thirty years later.

She went to uni later in life and is now a highly qualified professional. It didn't affect her negatively in the long run, she just did things a different way round to most people.

DeputyPecksBentBeak · 09/10/2014 07:31

Good luck for today at the gp, OP.

Did your dd take another test?

WeeClype · 09/10/2014 15:57

Hope everything is ok OP

PurpleWithaMysteryBun · 09/10/2014 18:37

Hope your all ok

ByeByeButterfly · 09/10/2014 18:43

I hope today went as well as can be expected OP.
Hope DD is coping OK :)

ICanTotallyDance · 09/10/2014 20:47

EverythingHappens4aReason I hope everything is okay and that today was useful for both of you.

wingcommandergallic · 09/10/2014 20:51

I know it's a shock but be proud that she's open and trusts you.

When I was a student I found Brook were brilliant. Professional and understanding.

ScrambledEggAndToast · 09/10/2014 20:57

Hope it went well OP

Original poster

EverythingHappens4aReason · 09/10/2014 21:37

Sorry not been in touch ...update......we have told her pastoral care worker in school just in case she is unwell. She did another test with me there which was very faint but +ve the boyfriend knows and so does his mum. We went to the GP but it turns out now its all self referral. She said shes done it twice...once in May and then 3 weeks ago. She said she felt unwell and panicked and bought an early test I know it was +ve but its still only 2 weeks can't help thinking nothing might come of it. Am I sticking my head in the sand?????

OP posts:

ChippingInLatteLover · 09/10/2014 21:45

I think you might understandably be my love. You don't really get false positives :(

Have you talked to her about how she would feel about a termination?

How did her bf & his Mum react?

I can't quite get over the fact that you went to your GP with a possibly pregnant 15 yo and all they did was tell you it's all self referral now? Jesus wept.

What are you going to do?

BertieBotts · 09/10/2014 21:45

Yes you are. Miscarriage happens, but it's rarer in young women and still something like 1 in 5 pregnancies overall (including older women and women who have genetic problems) which means she's got an 80%+ chance of the pregnancy being successful.

Find your nearest Brook or Marie Stopes ASAP and make her an appointment to speak to a counsellor, it's early enough that she's got more options and time to make the decision either way. If you wait on the GP then it will be 10 weeks for a midwife, they don't offer unplanned pregnancy counselling.

Both Brook and Marie Stopes are unbiased and really won't try to make up her mind for her or persuade her in any way but they are very well trained and used to seeing girls in her position.

Don't stick your head in the sand, it will just make it harder to make a decision about anything.

BertieBotts · 09/10/2014 21:46

Sorry I was rather more blunt than ChippingIn.

HelpMeGetOutOfHere · 09/10/2014 21:49

Good luck with whatever decision you all come to. Whichever it is I'm sure that you will all be doing it for the right reasons and no one except the people involved can make those decisions.

Original poster

EverythingHappens4aReason · 09/10/2014 21:59

I don't think termination is an option. I know she's young but even so.
We have discussed Brook and might call up on Saturday I just want her to know what her options are but I think she knows what she wants. Boyfriend is in as much shock as we are. His mum is same as me really not angry but certainly not doing cartwheels. Thanks for all your comments haven't spoken to anyone in RL yet x

OP posts:

butterbeerfloat · 09/10/2014 22:00

Please don't "suggest a termination" as has been said previously. Don't suggest anything, educate her on all her options and let her make her own decision. The decision has to be hers.

I will agree your relationship is fantastic with the fact she felt she could come straight to her. I certainly would not have done the same at her age! All the best to you both.

PillForgettingIdiot · 09/10/2014 22:04

Best of luck OP. Make sure DD knows all the options available to her.

OscarWinningActress · 09/10/2014 22:15

Why on earth is termination 'not an option'? She's FIFTEEN .

bookcaseface · 09/10/2014 23:13

Termination is not an option? Why not? Are you religious?

I know no ones supposed to say this, but I'll say it - she's 15. She's got years ahead of her to have children. Why would she choose to have one now?

My mum was a crap in lots of ways but taking me to the clinic and paying for me to have a termination when I was a teenager was the best thing she's ever done for me. She absolutely 'suggested it' (but never forced it and looked into other things she could do to support me if I decided to go ahead with the pregnancy) - she was right of course.

I thank goodness every day I didn't fuck up my life.

bookcaseface · 09/10/2014 23:17

And if you have a great relationship, which it appears you do, your input may be invaluable

ChippingInLatteLover · 09/10/2014 23:23

What do you mean a termination is not an option?

It really is an option, she is 15.

'Knowing what she wants' is all good and well, but does she know what, what she 'wants' involves and are YOU prepared to be bringing up another child? You can't expect two 15 year olds to be able to do it.

GlitterIsJustVampireAsh · 09/10/2014 23:23

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Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster

EverythingHappens4aReason · 09/10/2014 23:28

Whether I'm religious or not I can still have my own beliefs and personal reasons but the not an option was from her not me. Bookcase I'm glad it worked out for you and you're happy with your life and I hope whatever is decided she will be happy with hers

OP posts:

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