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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

dd 15 thinks she's pregnant feel sick!!

88 replies

EverythingHappens4aReason · 07/10/2014 16:47

My dd has just told me she has taken a test and its +ve but her period is only due today how reliable are these so early? She is as stunned as I am. GP booked for Thurs but apart from that I'm lost :-(

OP posts:
BBQsAreSooooOverrated · 07/10/2014 17:06

Get her to retest to double check, even if she's not pregnant the gp is still a good idea for different contraception for her.

Original poster
EverythingHappens4aReason · 07/10/2014 17:06

We've agreed not to tell anyone for now she feels better with that. If her test was +ve I think we can safely say she is.
My baby :-(
Bugger!

OP posts:
Original poster
EverythingHappens4aReason · 07/10/2014 17:08

Thanks everyone for your words I'm sure I'll be back

OP posts:
VivaLeBeaver · 07/10/2014 17:09

Retest. I got a false positive years ago as I didnt read the instructions and weed on it for too long or not long enough....

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 07/10/2014 17:11

Definitely think going to the GP a good idea. And exploring all the options, though I know if it were my 15 year old I would be finding it hard not to suggest termination. BUt I suspect you are far more understanding than me.

ChillySundays · 07/10/2014 17:16

Do another test with you reading the instructions to be on the safe side.

You have both found out early enough to have time for her to decide what she wants to do.
Could be worse - you could have got a call of the hospital in nine months time telling you that your daughter is in labour. She has told you straightaway
Good luck

BertieBotts · 07/10/2014 17:16

I don't know if the GP is right actually. Marie Stopes or a Brook centre might be a better option because they can outline all of the options for her and they are unbiased. Brook is aimed specifically at young women and teenagers.

www.mariestopes.org.uk/find-clinic

www.brook.org.uk/find-a-service

ToAvoidConversation · 07/10/2014 17:16

You sound like a lovely mum despite going through your own tough time!

Whereisegg · 07/10/2014 17:18

Even though I would trust her test 99%, I would definitely be re-testing with you in charge of instructions and using first wee of the day.

BrewThanks

DorisIsALittleBitPartial · 07/10/2014 17:18

Do you know why she did the test without a late period? Do you think that deep down she knew?
She sounds very sensible and confiding in you can't have been easy for her. Let her go along with her thoughts, she might need time working through each "decision" and change her mind while she does this. You are both lucky to have the relationship you do Thanks

BertieBotts · 07/10/2014 17:20

More because Marie Stopes/Brook counsellors will be trained in how to speak to young people in this situation, whereas a GP won't be and will probably go with their gut feeling/opinion. When I was pregnant at 19 I went to my local family planning clinic (which you'd think would be the right place to go!) and they immediately started talking about abortion which panicked me because I didn't want to think about that and immediately put me into the defensive "Yes I will have this baby" mode. I wish with hindsight I'd really been able to look at and understand all of the options, although I'd probably still have had the baby. I didn't really know what a termination would involve and vaguely thought of it as something very scary and painful.

RedRideMeGood · 07/10/2014 17:25

I think I'd also be finding it hard not to suggest a termination to my 15 yr old.

However, I got pregnant at 20 having just decided what I wanted to do with my life and decided to keep DS. I have questioned why my DM didn't encourage me to have a termination or at least make me feel it was ok if that's what I wanted to do. Even though I love DS my life would have been so much smoother if I'd made a different decision.

Talk through all her options with her and help her come to a decision.

Does she have a long term boyfriend or is he just some guy she knows and had been fooling around with at a house party?

Original poster
EverythingHappens4aReason · 07/10/2014 18:07

She has a boyfriend they have been together for about 10 months she had told me they had done it once months ago and we'd just had the 'talk' I will go and get a test and get her to do it in the morning

OP posts:
HesterShaw · 07/10/2014 18:20

You sound like a great mum Flowers There's no way I'd have been able to come to mine to tell her the same.

She's young and she's not the first, not by a long shot. She doesn't have to have a baby at 15.

chocolatedonut · 07/10/2014 23:18

I'd never have been able to go to my mum about this and wish in the future that my DD feels she could come to me like yours did.

How are you feeling now? It must have been such a shock.

maras2 · 07/10/2014 23:25

Whatever DD decides to do, you sound lovely enough to support her.Best wishes from me Flowers Wine for you and Cake and Brew for DD.

bookcaseface · 07/10/2014 23:26

Yes I'd do a retest too.

What made her do a test today rather than after skipping her period? She must have been worried - had an accident or something. Not judging - exactly the same happened to me at about that age!

The gp won't do much other than confirm dates, and then refer either to maternity services or for a termination (you can contact Marie stopes privately and go straight there if she wants).

I went to Marie stopes and they were utterly lovely and kind and wonderful.

bookcaseface · 07/10/2014 23:28

And I agree - you sound wonderful!

figgieroll · 07/10/2014 23:50

Let her decide. Lay all the options out and be very neutral. She might want longer to make the decision?

ChippingInLatteLover · 08/10/2014 00:18

Definitely do another test when you can be sure the instructions have been followed properly.

I would be worried about how far along she is, given 'they did it once months ago' either that's a lie or she's quite far along.

Do you know when her last proper period actually was?

halestone · 08/10/2014 00:19

You sound like a brilliant mum, if she felt she could tell you as soon as she found out, then she knows you'll give her the support she needs, to make decisions which are best for her.

Theselittlelightsofmine · 08/10/2014 09:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Littleturkish · 08/10/2014 10:09

I would take her to Marie Stopes or a Brook clinic- the GP will probably just direct you there anyway.

Good luck. It's a very difficult position to be in.

HelpMeGetOutOfHere · 08/10/2014 10:15

Good luck. I hope the outcome is the best all round.
I'd be devastated as well, so think you appear to be handling this brilliantly.

OwlCapone · 08/10/2014 10:18

I would get a digital test as there is no misreading the result.

Is this definitely her only missed period of has she been in denial for a while?