Daughter's first love

[Fool4u]

Just want some advice as to what route to take. DD is 14.. Bf is 15.. From what I can gather they're the first "relationship" for both of them.. I think he's lovely & I know he's besotted with dd.. They've been seeing each other for about 3 months.. They both talk to me quite openly & I've talked to both of them about trusting them.. Today they'd been home alone for a couple of hours & when I came back dd had a love bite on her neck.. Not sure what to say or do.. I don't want to discourage the relationship because I genuinely think he's a lovely lad & I'm more than happy for them to carry on seeing each other, but I think it's all a bit too intense..

Just make sure your DD understands the 'facts of life' & be sure she understands fact from fiction (like you 'can't get pregnant the first time', etc). Not that she's planning to 'do anything' but you just never know. My niece just walked in on her teen son & his girlfriend 'in flagrante delicto' when they were home alone to 'watch a movie'.

But, at that age I personally wouldn't leave them home alone for 'a couple of hours'. When ours were that age, our rule was always if there was no parent home, then they could not be inside the house. They could sit out on the front porch or front yard. Yes, I know if they're determined to have sex they will. I just never saw a reason to make it easy for them.

Am also in same position as fool4u. Worried about intensity of dd relationship with bf - both 14. She is also lying to me occasionally about silly things and am worried she'll not open up to me about serious issues. Wouldn't feel right leaving them alone in house though, bad enough knowing they're upstairs in bedroom - but have open-door policy. He is a lovely lad too, but would still appreciate advice on this - first time and got 2 other dd's as well!!

Also because I've not trusted her very much, I've pried into her room and found love letters from him - so know it's very serious as far as feelings go. Now I feel wrong for prying! :(

Same here anotherbrick I've done the same & found the same.. Feel very bad for prying..

I mean I feel bad for prying

Ok, I'll admit it. I was something of a 'snoop', too. But I always told myself that whatever I found I'd have to keep to myself and just be happy that I had the knowledge. I found condoms in my (then) 17 yr old son's room and was just thankful he was using them. It lead to a conversation with him about safe sex in general without telling him what I found. Of course he denied that they were 'doing anything' even after I assured him he wouldn't get in trouble, I just wanted him to be safe.

Its good they talk to you openly so just be open with them, you seem like you have a good relationship with both of them so I wouldn't worry about talking to them about it. If they are going to get up to anything they will find a way regardless of if you leave them home alone for a few hours so being open is the best way

DH and I have been together since we were 13 and 15 and we snuck around behind his parents back, nobody spoke to us about anything it was all swept under the carpet and pretended like nobody knew. I got pregnant at 15 and had no one to turn to so just keep yourself involved and your relationship with them good. That way you will be able to influence them in a positive way.