Teen son invited to house party while parents are away

[Drywhiteplease]

DS,15, told me in the car tonight that his friend is having a party for 12 in the house while his mother is away. She doesn't know and he made me promise not to tell her. She's leaving her 15yr old alone idiot
DH said that he can't go.
I'm really relieved.
DS now really unhappy don't care, I'm not his friend but will he ever confide in us again?

He'll feel better about it when he hears about the disasters that happened that he's not responsible for.

I think you should let the mum know ( anonymously maybe). She may be coming back to a trashed house otherwise.

Yes Dexter I'm struggling with that one. Need to warn her, but trying to figure out how.

Next time he won't tell you.

I think you should've phoned the parents and told them, asking for their discretion. The party would've been cancelled but your DS would still trust you.

Teenagers tell their parents about this sort of thing?

I agree with nigerdelta. When the shit hits the fan, and the parents come home to vomit on the carpets and the remnants of a visit from the police, he'll see why you said no.

If he's unhappy now, show him links like this (DM link) and this, and say this is what you're afraid will happen and you don't want him to be involved in it.

When my dd was 15 she had '10' friends over while we went to the pub, 10 minutes walk away, for a meal. We came back 3 hours later to about 50 teenagers and 2 police at our house. Luckily nothing much had been broken and it was mostly just mess and vomit. My daughters excuse for allowing this to happen was that she was too drunk to stop all the people coming in, which didn't go down well with us as you can imagine. It goes to show how things can get out of hand pretty quickly and we were home by 10.30, not out all night.

Have none of you ever been young??

Yes, I've been young and in more stupid, dangerous situations than I care to think about.

That's why I put quite a lot if effort into minimising the likelihood of my DC ending up in any of those situations.

yes, I've been young. I still thought vomiting over carpets and trashing a house was disgusting.

do you think it is ok, mozzchops?

I remember doing the exact same thing when my parents left me at home while they went on holiday.
I would tell the mum..

mozz of course we've all been young and done stupid things. What would you do in my position?

What Maryz said.

I had the same situation a few months ago with DD. She trusted me enough to tell me there would be no adults there. I did ponder on it for a while but after weighing it all up I let her go. If I had not let her she would never have told me anything again and if I had let the parents know DD's friends would never have trusted her again. As it was everything was fine and the party had no incidents. I have a very dood relationship with DD and to me the fact she told me means I must be doing something right.