A nephew of mine is getting more and more despondent

[paulkal]

A nephew of mine is getting more and more despondent about not getting the job that he wants in retail. His mother and I continue to encourage him that he is doing all he can to find something but he keeps focusing on the negatives. What could we say to him to to help him focus on the positives?

How old is he? I think we need a bit more information to be able to help you. You say he is focussing on the ' negatives', which are what? And you want him to look at the positives.

Without any further information the ' positives' could be - it's early days yet ( if he's only made a few applications)' at least you got an interview, big recruitment in retail often happens later in the year as we move towards Christmas.

I have some experience of helping teens get retail jobs so happy to help but need more info.

A negative attitude won't help him so maybe he needs some positive success-after-failure stories to help him pick up and continue going for his goal?

If it helps I was turned down for a retail position, but when the person they took on left after 3 days I re applied and it was terrifying going in to be interviewed the second time, especially when asked "why did you apply again when we didn't give you the job last time?" But I got it, and after the same company turned me down for a management position a couple of years later I applied for a similar position in another company, which I got, and I ended up being their youngest shop manager (aged 19) but I had to go to TONNES of interviews before all that and apply for lots of jobs I never even heard back from. It's very tough right now (my little story is during the recession) it's do able, but bloody hard!

Tell him not to give up x

How old is he? And how long has he been looking?

Did he go to university? If so, can he get careers advice from them?

It is a very tough job market for young people right now. I can totally see why it is a downer for him.

Hi, Thanks for your reply. He is 18 years old and tends to focus on how difficult interviews might be, ie whether he will appear shy or not very confident. He has already been for interview for a retail job and although he didn't get it was complimented in the feedback for appearing quite confident. I guess it's helping him to be as willing as possible to acknowledge his strong points rather than what he perceives as weaknesses.

Thanks for your message. Very helpful to hear about similar experience. I will pass on your encouragement to both himself his mother.

Hi thanks for your reply. He is 18 and has been looking for about six months.

He is 18 and does not want to go to university and quite frankly is not an academically minded person. He wants the kind of advice that will reach him personally, not just general advice. He needs to feel that someone is meeting him on his level but without putting him under too much pressure to succeed, which is difficult for his mother and I as we feel too emotionally involved.