Ds stealing food

[Chocoholic36]

I hope I have posted on the correct place sorry if I haven't.

My ds is 12.6 he is big built -5ft 7 and a size 9 shoe already. The problem we have is food. He has always been a fussy eater, we had problems when he was little and he has only just started to grow out of it. All he wants to eat is crap.

We don't have much in the house - a few penguin bars in the snack tin, along with dried raisins and apricots, little bags of nuts etc. the fridge is full of fruit, veg sticks, dips etc. there is always a cake in the tin for lunch boxes.

The problem is that unless it's his favourite meals - pizza, korma, pasta (I make it all myself to try and make it healthier) he just picks at it. He then whinges/tantrums that he is hungry. I offer fruit, veg etc but he wants 6 penguin bars!!

I went in the baking cupboard today to make a chocolate cake for a friend and the 4 bars of chocolate is gone! I only bought them 2 days ago. I checked his room and didn't find anything. Ds3 dropped his book down the side of his bed when he went under his bed to get it he found the wrappers. I know it wasn't ds3 who took them as he has a intolerance to chocolate.

I am so upset that he has done this again - he has done it lots of times now. We grounded him, shouted, talked to him and I don't know what to do. He is at school now so doesn't know I have found the wrappers. Dh and I just had a row as he told me not to mention it to him and there is nothing we can do now and that I should hide the chocolate next time - I am a bit why the hell should I??

So really I was after a bit of advice on what you would do? He has breakfast, snack, lunch, after school snack, dinner, pudding and supper. I try to offer healthy versions as he is putting on a bit of weight but I am struggling so much please help.

I've had this issue with DS1 for a while. He is now 17 and will at least buy his own junk food but for a while I had to hide everything!. He could have cereal, fruit, sandwiches if he was hungry but not crisps or biscuits. He is now over 6'2 and still growing!

I don't think it matters what you call it but if the end result is that there were no crisps or biscuits left for siblings lunch boxes or that you didn't have the ingredients left for a cake (or other meal) you had planned, it's anti-social and selfish IMO.

I have two teens who will happily eat all day long, luckily they like healthy stuff as well as rubbish. They think nothing of eating the contents of the fridge....if I want something kept for a specific occasion I have to tell them and to be fair they do respect that.

I grew up with eating disorders and used to hide food, and eat in secret ( along with lengthy periods of not eating at all) so I try to be very relaxed about food in front of my teens. Nothing is banished, a treat is encouraged and I have never made them clear their plates in their life. I'm hoping they have a much healthily attitude to food than I ever did.

I'd rather eat food I didn't like than sneak other people's food

Other peoples food? See I see my children as members of my household and as such, the food in that household is theirs as much as any other family member [I even share my Guylian chocs!]

ObfusKate. That is your take on it.

IMO from looking at the wider picture and having been the parent to teens, the issue is this boy needs more food of a carby nature and access to it [within reason] without being called a thief.

You need to buy more carbs and filling foods, my DC have toast, cereal, dough balls, garlic baguettes, soup from a tin, spaghetti sausages etc as snacks. Teenage boys are food hovers, DS1 once ate 8 fajitas in one meal and DS2 has been known to eat entire packets of fish fingers as a snack. Fruit, veg and hummus just aren't substantial for growing teens.

Perhaps it's kids like yours that end up being the ones everyone hates in flatshares

Don't see the comparison between communal living and being a child living with your family, but do carry on with the veiled insults.

You need to buy more carbs and filling foods, my DC have toast, cereal, dough balls, garlic baguettes, soup from a tin, spaghetti sausages etc as snacks. Teenage boys are food hovers, DS1 once ate 8 fajitas in one meal and DS2 has been known to eat entire packets of fish fingers as a snack. Fruit, veg and hummus just aren't substantial for growing teens.

That wasn't a PA dig.

That was me explaining how food 'entitlement' works in my home/family.

See I disagree with the lashings of carbs thing. It is protein and fat that stops you being hungry. Get a decent meal into them, with plenty of meat, they won't be snacking constantly.

I have a 20 year old who cycles loads, he eats well but has never been one to be stuffing his face all day. Some of these extreme snacks are sounding pretty greedy to me.

I'd stop buying the treats.

DH has taken to roasting a whole chicken twice a week which DS gnaws at as and when, he isn't even a teenage yet. Protein rich snacks do seem to satisfy him longer than empty white carbs, might be worth a shot.

There are 2 issues here

1. His fussiness - this is what is for dinner ,if you don't want it you can make a sandwich.
2. Hiding food and eating more than his share ie a whole packet of kitkats meant for sharing. Not acceptable.

Treats are for everyone. Plenty of sandwich food, fruit, beans etc as suggested .He can then make himself something to eat and have more control over eating/choosing his food.

The bingeing on chocolate is a bit worrying( 4 bars) - is he anxious /emotional about something ? 12 is a difficult age.
Talk to him- I bet its not really anything to do with food.

I do that, Q (ds is 15). Steaks, chicken, fish.

I understand that it is annoying to discover that your DS has hoovered up all the treats. But the word "stealing" is a very odd way of describing it, when he is your child. Teen boys crave "dense" calories, and I don't see the problem (unless financial) in you supplying them alongside the healthy stuff. My ds is the same age as yours, but much smaller. However, my ds has been known to strip a whole roast chicken to the bone -- then looks a bit sheepish when he notices that it was for 4 people. Of course he is being selfish, but that is not unknown at this age. The solution is denser calories, and tease him about being greedy until he gets the message.

Roasting a chicken is a great idea. I also buy joints of gammon for boiling, as there's always masses of chunky leftover ham. The sort of slices you get in packet ham are practically a homeopathic amount of protein.

Are you seriously saying you'd be happy if you bought a packet of chocolate biscuits intending each child to have a nice treat each day, and one child turned down dinner and instead ate all the biscuits?

Wouldn't happen!

On the rare occasion of a meal being turned down, any later cries of hungry would be met with a loaf of wholemeal/jar of peanut butter, a banana or a bowl of cereal.

And mostly full of water, Tinkly.