DS 14 and weed

[Blossomflowers]

DS has not long turned 14 and seems to be developing a nasty weed habit. I have tried talking to him calming, have ranted a couple of times. I have no idea where he is getting the money, I certainly don't seem to be missing money from my purse. His dad and I split in December and he is a terrible influence, has even let him smoke a joint in front of him the dick, so I am totally alone in this without support. Please give me your thoughts on how to tackle this before it becomes a big problem.

No but I will take a look, I know ranting and raving will not help. Cannot ground him forever.

He also has no idea where money coming from, I have asked him not give money and buy him stuff instead, trouble is when DS goes to town he does need cash to but drinks food.

My friend has had similar issues recently with her 15 YO.

She has accepted that she can not stop him but she has told him if he insists then it is WE only and she has stopped any money that she used to give him (even the odd £1) as she said she can't afford a drug or drink habit so she can't support him to have one - if he wants to smoke it that bad he will have to get a job or sell his stuff which she will not be replacing.

If she catches him stoned in week she has told him she will call police and SS and make sure all relatives know that he has a drugs problem. So far he has limited it to Sat nights and she is hoping that he will soon get bored as it is not banned per say but there are restrictions IYSWIM

sanity thank you. That seem like a possible plan, I think if they are determined there is little you can do to stop them, being with me 100% at his age is impossible. Next year @ school is so important and want him to knuckle down, but being stoned really will make this impossible.

Very difficult one. Grounding for life and no money the only really effective interventions but a recipe for extreme family disharmony and rife with practical issues. The trouble I have is that ALL the teens round here smoke weed ALL the time. They have so many mates, mostly very middle class and well heeled but none of them operate drug free. None. Quite a few of them are under the youth offending team for weed use. Parents mostly seem absolutely oblivious or know but take a non judgemental and permissive stance. I really thought my boys were lying when they said that I was over protective on this issue but I have seen time and time again that kids caught with weed by the police are not even grounded by their parents. Astonishing. Though I suppose I am lucky that my guys still abide by groundings, albeit with bad grace. Suggestions of drug counselling or talk to Frank are greeted with howls of derision. Perhaps their friends are even more out of control and howl with derision when grounded? Anyway, much sympathy, OP. Please let me know if you find a solution!

comrade that is the problem they are all at it. I came back on Saturday night and the house stank of dope, ( thank god I did not bring date home for a coffee) he then looked me in the eye and swore he not been smoking dope, must think I was born yesterday. Smoking dope just seems to be normal to them now

Blossom
Yes normal...all kids in this area do as well..can't ground them...too big for that...would climb out window! Even manage to get w/o money..others share it around....all social backgrounds... A private School here found sixth form kids growing and selling! Its a massive problem!