I must stay strong!

[Fooso]

Ok, first grounding for my DS (14)... Call from the school he was caught playing truant from a lesson. I told him 2 weeks grounding which he accepted but now first weekend and he's driving me mad! "so unfair !etc.. it's only PE! etc, you're the only one who's bothered its PE etc..!".. but it's a lesson, if I don't come down on him on this then he might decide not to go to maths! etc... It's so hard... Am I being ridiculous!

No ! Stick to your guns
you'll need it !
Good luck

Thanks Lila !

What consequence did the school put in place? Is there a reason why you are having to impose sanctions at home for something that happened in school?

I'm strict about my own children's attendance, so I can understand your position. However, I spent a good part of secondary school bunking off PE, so I can sort of see it from his point of view too.

To be honest the school were more miffed about his attitude of "it's only PE whats the big deal"... the head of year was concerned that he might have this attitude to other lessons. He had a half hour detention that's all. I've spoilt him rotten and I'm afraid its coming back to bite me on the a*!

I also know this isn't the first time he's done it - just the first time he's been caught

It's too late now but I'd not have said 2 weeks. Too long imho.

it's actually not really as he was at his dads last weekend so it's really only this weekend that it will affect him and it ends on Friday so I don't feel so bad now

Of course he is miffed but he has done the crime now he has to do the time. It's all a part of growing up but at this important stage of his education it's crucial that doesn't start bunking off. In all honesty I bet he does it again as lots of his mates will be bunking off but you have to stand firm so he realises that there are consequences. Can his dad back you up and have a little chat with him too as it sends such a powerful message to a child if both parents are on board.

Have you asked him why he dodged the PE lesson? Why PE? Was it PE he played truant from before?

There might be something else going on - is he self-conscious, being picked on, embarrassed by a lack of skill? Perhaps you could gently try and see if he will open up and talk to you about it.

Stick to your guns. My DS (aged 16) got caught skiving off school one afternoon. Told me some nonsense about feeling unwell and his friend kindly taking him home and there not being anyone in the school office so they couldn’t get permission…. I felt sorry for him at first but it turned out he’d told his dad a different story so we knew it was all made up. Happened just before half term. Grounding him would be no good (he doesn’t go out!) so I put him on chores duty (washing up etc) all through half term. Made me very happy anyway! And no more skiving. The school did their bit too, put him on report etc.

Agree it's worth finding out if there's a specific issue with PE as well, but kids do skive for no special reason and it's worth making sure he knows you take it seriously.

I think you've definitely done the right thing.

I teach at secondary and the parents who are half-arsed about nipping this sort of thing in the bud at 14 are the ones who have bigger problems to deal with at 16.

It's not 'just PE'. It's him deciding that the subject he dislikes is optional, so where might that attitude lead him?

You either show him that you're supporting the school or you reinforce his idea that it's 'just PE'.

Stick to your guns