Best lines from teens (lighthearted)

[3catsandcounting]

"You think you're funny, but you're not"!!
(Oh, but I am, I'm hilarious!)

Dh took ds (15) with him on a business trip during the holidays and they stayed in a hotel. Cheeky little bugger sends me a picture of a sign they have in the room. It says "if you would like fresh towels, please leave the used ones on the floor" along with a message saying "please can we adopt this policy at home".

Yesterday he went to the fridge and complained the usual 'there is no food in this house'. There is an assortment of food in the fridge, granted some of it takes a little effort to be turned into an edible state, ie an egg. So when I say that the fridge is full of stuff he could have, he then yes, "yes, but there is no cheese"!!

Haha!

I did the 'will you pick your things up - you are treating this place like a hotel' once

DD looked at me like this
'mum. This is a hotel'

At most of these!
I managed to embarrass my DS and I wasn't even near him the other day. He was on his Xbox live chatting to some friends with his door open when I heard his sudden very loud and annoyed voice say "my mother is not a MILF!" They're all 13 FFS
I don't know who said it and I don't want to...

'Is that your Halloween outfit?' From DS1 when I modelled my new swimming costume.

Ouch Sparkling!

I said to DS2 'you are going to tidy your room and brush your teeth before you go to bed'
He said ' now you're just being ridiculous'

A friends DS informed her that "they don't let fat people on buses"

My apologies he's not a teen!!
He's 6

DD quit collage and got a job at McDonald's against my better judgement. On being told that she would now be required to pay £30 per week board, "omg, that's ridiculous, I can get a flat anywhere I like for £20 a week" when I enquired what bills and food would cost in this flat "£5 tops"

A snippet of teen conversation while washing up this evening:

DS1 to DS2: If you don't stop talking I'll punch you on the nipples.

DS2: Then I will continue to express myself in interpretive dance.
(which he did -very graphically)

Haffdonga that sounds like something I'd have said as a teen

haffdonga love your ds2!

Dd2's texts to me often begin with "Haw, mawbags!" and a rant from me to her results in
" Wow!settle,petal!"

Lovin your DD's style dementedma